The Gift, Chapter 1 of a new novel Options

[femmefatale4160]

Chapter 1
The Gift

Swords clanged, shields scraped against armor, people and beasts alike were slaughtered by the dozen. Bang. Crash. Boom. Smash. War cries erupted from all sides of the three girls. They were no more than 16 years old, but they were not afraid. In fact, they were among the calmest and bravest participants in the battle. Dismembering monster after monster fearlessly, one would have thought that the extraordinary girls did so every night. Indeed, such an assumption would not have been far from the truth.
Amy James, Christine Loarty and Dia Mae Loarty had known each other for quite some time, particularly the last two. Only 10 months apart, Christine and Dia were often mistaken for twins (although to be perfectly honest, they did not resemble one another any more strongly than other non-identical siblings). In fact, Christine had much more in common, physically and otherwise, with Amy.
The trio had met in the waiting room at their doctor’s office years ago, when Amy and Dia Mae were two and the lively Christine was only a year old. Their mothers had set them down by the play station, and the eldest two liked each other immediately. Although they had only just learned to speak in coherent sentences, they discovered that they both loved to color, play on monkey bars, and agreed that Sesame Street was a quality educational televison program. Mrs. James and Ms. Loarty exchanged glances, then phone numbers. It was about time that their children made friends. Christine was too young at the time to truly enjoy another child’s company, but when she was a little older she grew to love Amy just as much as her sister did.
When Dia Mae and Amy reached the first grade and little Christine had begun Kindergarten, they began noticing that strange things happened to them at night. They would dream; nothing strange about that, but it seemed that the next day, all of them had dreamt of the same thing.
"I dreamed about Aladdin," Christine might have said.
"Me too!" Amy would have replied. "And he was on his magic carpet..."
"And so was Jasmine!" Dia would jump in.
"And they were going to save the Genie," they would have finished in unison.
Throughout most of their elementary school years, they would experience the same dream when they slept. However, once Christine was in the fifth grade and her friends had begun their sixth, another odd thing started to happen. They began to meet each other in their dreams. They had real conversations; ones that made sense, as opposed to the useless babbling most people experience in their dreams. When the close friends met up the next day, they would be able to remember exactly what it was they had been talking about, word for word.
While all this had begun to seem quite natural to them, it never occurred to the three young ladies to tell anyone of their special gift. They had learned through sheer observation that other boys and girls couldn't do what they could. Besides, they were perfectly content keeping their secret to themselves.
The most recent anomaly that the three had experienced began when they were all in high school; Amy and Dia Mae had entered their sophomore year, and Christine was but a freshman. In their dreams, the girls were given a task to complete. Save the Princess, a disembodied voice would say. Save the city. Win the war. Destroy that castle. The task was different every time. But it was always completed without too much trouble, for after all, these were very special girls. Some dreams were scarier or more difficult to get through than others, but Dia, Christine and Amy always made it. They never paused to think about what would happen if a task was not completed. It was only a dream; they would wake up in their own beds, safe and sound.

[hitoshirezukizu]

Loving it so far, Sarah! I can't wait to see more of it, I really love this beginning so far. Good luck. :)

[Kontroll]

Don't quit your day job. Hahaha. No, I'm just messing with you. Um, there was something I saw in there that turned me off.

people and beasts alike dropped like flies....

Just a really overused cliché that's not good enough for your novel. :)

And I'd also change the part when you're introducing the three girls. The two are sisters obviously before you read that they knew each other for a long time. I'd change that.

But, it was good. I love how the mother wasted no time in making a new child. Hahaha.

[femmefatale4160]

Thanks. You're one of the rare few that actually give me advice.

[*Kathleen*]

Bang, crash, boom and smash as war cries erupted from all sides of the three girls.

I love it all except for this. Perhaps it's just my preference.. my style, but I think it'd be a bit more powerful and rhythmic if you didn't put them in a series.

i.e.
Bang.
Crash.
Boom.
Smash.
War cries erupted from all sides of the three girls.

or

Bang. Crash. Boom. Smash. War cries erupted from all sides of the three girls.

*Shrug* I just figured it would have more impact if there was more of a pause than can be given with a comma, you know?

Good job. Can't wait to read the rest of it.

[femmefatale4160]

I can fix that. Thanks for your opinion.

EDIT//Changed it. And I like it better that way, too.