Staying Friends After a Long Relationship & Bad Break Up ???, Opinions on Staying Friends? Options

[deteam]

How do you guys feel about staying friends after a long term relationship, that had a really bad break up ?

Should you still try to be friends....

Should you both just move on ?

Ill give examples of what happened in my situation a little later

Here's the Actual Situation:
================================================
7 Year On/Off Relationship [Started at Age 12]
Grew Up Together
Was Each Others Best Friend/ Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Talked Marriage
Stuck With Each Other Through VERY Difficult Times

Break Up:
Caught Emotional Cheating for 3 months.
Wasn't Willing to Leave the Other Kid completely to work On Our Relationship
Wasn't Willing to Leave the Other Kid completely to work On Us Being Friends

Status Now:
Haven't Talked for 2 Months [prior to Christmas phone call]
She calls, I Ignore
She Wished Merry Christmas, and Called and that is the last we have talked.

Now She Sounds Like she really wants to talk/ be friendly again but what do you think?

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Subliminal

[brooklyneast05]

i don't think you should bother with the being friends thing right away. bad break ups leave a sour taste in both people's mouth and i don't think it's possible for them to overcome that right away. that's how i feel anyway. even in situations where you really truly want to keep that person around as a friend, it's a lot easier said than done. the better approach is to leave it alone and let the bad feelings fade some and try to pick it up later.


basically i think if it was a good relationship and you like that person, you should stay friends, but i don't think the way to go about that is forcing it. you should move on first, and then worry about the friendship later.

[creole]

Being friends won't hurt you. As long as both of you don't have that type of "feeling" for each other. I know it's kind of hard to forget and forgive, but it's worth it. You can't just hate or ignore someone for the rest of your life--especially if they were a big portion of your "love" life. It doesn't hurt to love someone, but it hurts to hate someone.

[deteam]

Being friends won't hurt you. As long as both of you don't have that type of "feeling" for each other. I know it's kind of hard to forget and forgive, but it's worth it. You can't just hate or ignore someone for the rest of your life--especially if they were a big portion of your "love" life. It doesn't hurt to love someone, but it hurts to hate someone.

ya i just edited my post with the actual situation and as you can see she was a BIG part of my life

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Subliminal

[creole]

By the way, I mean to "love" someone as a friend, for the ending part. haha

[deteam]

By the way, I mean to "love" someone as a friend, for the ending part. haha

haha yaa that could be an issue cause im sure she "loves" me as a friend . . but idk if i could ever look at her as "just a friend" so idk


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Subliminal

[none345678]

f*ck being friends. Light her house on fire.

[Blyat]

Simple

If you want to forget her, dont be friends

If you miss talking to her and all that, be friends

Just see how it goes and howyou feel about it, just know this is suppose to make you feel better, not feel like your obligated to be friends (if this makes any since)


If you want a personal opinion

Me and my boyfriend have been best friends for 7 years (10 years) and we started dating thissummer, and god forbit but if we do ever break up, i would love to stay his friend, but at the same time i would prolly feel the awkwardness and know my friendship with him prolly wont be the same

[deteam]

If you want a personal opinion

Me and my boyfriend have been best friends for 7 years (10 years) and we started dating thissummer, and god forbit but if we do ever break up, i would love to stay his friend, but at the same time i would prolly feel the awkwardness and know my friendship with him prolly wont be the same

exactly ive become so accustomed to the relationship that i don't think i can see her as just a friend... but also don't want to completely cut out someone that important to me


what you think? ignore her for now till things are settled then call her one day and see whats good? or because she called for xmas use this as an opportunity to restart a friendship?

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Subliminal

[brooklyneast05]

you should move on first, and then worry about the friendship later.

[sixfive]

basically i think if it was a good relationship and you like that person, you should stay friends, but i don't think the way to go about that is forcing it. you should move on first, and then worry about the friendship later.

[Eww]

i think you should just go with the flow.
yall seem really close so i'm sure you'll miss her eventually and want to forgive her.
i'm sorta like that with my friend, except with the ideas about marriage thing.

it may sound cliche, but all the fights and arguing will only bring you closer.
that's how it was for me, anyway.
but even if you don't make up i'm sure deep down you'll still be friends. if you've known someone for that long and have been through that much with them, i don't think it's that easy to move on.

[deteam]

i think you should just go with the flow.
yall seem really close so i'm sure you'll miss her eventually and want to forgive her.
i'm sorta like that with my friend, except with the ideas about marriage thing.

it may sound cliche, but all the fights and arguing will only bring you closer.
that's how it was for me, anyway.
but even if you don't make up i'm sure deep down you'll still be friends. if you've known someone for that long and have been through that much with them, i don't think it's that easy to move on.

ya i feel ya lol and i thought the same thing as well about the fighting bringing you closer . . . but one of the reasons she was "cheating" was because she said we argued to much lol ironic huh the thing that brought us closer also tore us apart lol

and i have no doubt that one day well be friends again . . . maybe something more


but the fact that she wasn't willing to give up the other guy to work on our relationship . . or give him up to work on our friendship .... isn't that like something big i should take into consideration?

like if our friendship was important to her shouldn't she have been willing to give that up earlier ?


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Subliminal

[Blyat]

exactly ive become so accustomed to the relationship that i don't think i can see her as just a friend... but also don't want to completely cut out someone that important to me
what you think? ignore her for now till things are settled then call her one day and see whats good? or because she called for xmas use this as an opportunity to restart a friendship?

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Subliminal

What eww says, go with the flow

And just know the fact that your friendship may not be the same anymore, Everyone's reactions are different, and it really depends on how you or your ex acts out on it.(as to where your friendship goes)

[deteam]

What eww says, go with the flow

And just know the fact that your friendship may not be the same anymore, Everyone's reactions are different, and it really depends on how you or your ex acts out on it.(as to where your friendship goes)

ya all of a sudden shes actin out towards it being all buddy buddy like nothing happened . . . meanwhile when i tried to be buddy buddy when shit first happened she ignored me and brushed it off

should she get the same treatment? Why should there be an exception now that shes on the other side?

Let me know

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Subliminal

[Blyat]

ya all of a sudden shes actin out towards it being all buddy buddy like nothing happened . . . meanwhile when i tried to be buddy buddy when shit first happened she ignored me and brushed it off

should she get the same treatment? Why should there be an exception now that shes on the other side?

Let me know

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Subliminal

Yeah that can be fustrating, but it prolly took her longer to be more accepted and more accustumed to the break up (im assuming you recovered faster,as in wanting to be friends with her quicker, than what she wanted) Just see how it goes now
Either you go along with what she does or ignore her for a while but imo just go with the flow of what shes doeing unless your not happy with it
maybe update us on your little situation?

[deteam]

You have to be a friend of mine in disguise or something. Every time you share one of your situations, my friend just so happens to be going through the same at the exact same time. I'm watching you son.

I'd say wait a super while till you even think about being friends. If she was the one who cheated on you and/or if it ended because of a friend, use what I call deathnigga tactics. Disappear ninja style. Privacy settings on National Securty mode. Don't give her the benefit of knowing you exist. Become a myth. Poof, be gone.

I tried that lol then she got mad sneaky and started hittin up my friends/ having "mutual friends" between us call that way they can let her know how i am ....

and @ uso:

i DEFF didn't recover faster lol i was just hoping that maybe if we became friends it would progress back into a relationship.... she was the one who said "no, if thats all your looking for then don't talk to me" yet here we are with her calling and trying to be friends again wtf


lol

to add to this Situation . . . This Album was made for her:
http://www.createblog.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=244531

and i don't think shes heard it yet lol



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Subliminal