marriage beliefs? Options

[brooklyneast05]

what are your views on marriage? do you want to get married? do you think it's an outdated concept? why do you believe that marriages tend to fail so miserably nowadays?



i have a mix of views about marriage. i'm engaged so i obviously believe in marriage. i look forward to it and feel comfortable committing to someone for the rest of my life. i don't think marriage is for everyone though. actually i don't even think it's for most people. i think probably 80% of people would be better off not being married.

[Blyat]

Now a days I totally agree with you
I think people get married as a fast get away with their significant other (if that makes sense)
I think someone people arent good with marrige is because they rush into way before they fully know the pros and cons and they end up fighting more

Some are better independent instead of being tied down to one person

Im still naive about it overall so I could be totally wrong

[sixfive]

what are your views on marriage? do you want to get married? do you think it's an outdated concept? why do you believe that marriages tend to fail so miserably nowadays?
i have a mix of views about marriage. i'm engaged so i obviously believe in marriage. i look forward to it and feel comfortable committing to someone for the rest of my life. i don't think marriage is for everyone though. actually i don't even think it's for most people. i think probably 80% of people would be better off not being married.

I think marriage is a psychologically forced bond between two people. Once they decide to get married, it's (I would think) obvious that they're very much into each other. If they get into a fight when they're not married, they might go their separate ways and say "this isn't working." Take the same exact couple / circumstance, but married. They get into the fight but due to the fact that they're married, they'll more likely try to work it out. They'll try to resolve things and remain together and in the long run, or even short run, it'll have paid off that they're married.

I think it's outdated from a religious standpoint. I don't think, despite the historical religious importance, that it should be a thing that has to be religious. For instance, gay marriage is shunned due to religion. I think that view of marriage is extremely outdated and with today's intercultural melding, we can't expect anything to remain strictly religious.

[brooklyneast05]

yeah i think people get married way way too fast a lot of times

[Blyat]

Especially in a relationship I think you need to look at the flaws in the relationship so you know how to apprechiate and tolerate it, then you know your ready for marriage

[brooklyneast05]

i always figured living with someone before marriage was a good idea. to me at makes logical sense, but i read that people who live together before marriage are actually more likely to get divorced.

[Blyat]

REally? I would think the opposite
I would live with my significant other before marrying him so I know how he always is :p

[Tomates]

Now i'm curious JC. Have you ever seen the show "Engaged and Underage"?

[brooklyneast05]

nope

[Tomates]

Well...to sum it up there's at least one person in the relationship whose under 18 and they get married. If you ever watched it, i was curious to what you thought about it.

[brooklyneast05]

well regardless of not seeing it, i think 99% of the time getting engaged or married under the age of 18 is a major mistake.

[Blyat]

agreed

[misoshiru]

i believe in legalising gay marriage. but i don't think that i will ever get married myself. i don't believe that i need a piece of paper to tell me that i'm in love with someone. obviously, if it were for tax and visa reasons, that'll be totally different.

[Blyat]

What if your significant other wanted you to get married?

[none345678]

Do i believe in marriage? Sure. Regardless of how loveless I am now I will most likely end up getting married (let's cross our fingers and hope he's rich). Do I believe in young marriage? f*ck no. f*cking 18 year olds getting married after dating for 1 1/2 years. I hate you people. "BUT I LOVVVVE HIM!!!" Ok, then you should love him 2 years from now regardless of rings and 2 years after that.

I have a feeling if I do get engage I am going to be one of those people who are engaged for 6 years before we actually get married. Because I fear commitment.

[Blyat]

Young marriage is so cliche cause it never works. Like you said, they think thay are in love but wait for atleast 3 years
I know i wouldn't even want to get married after college cause im still young, my boyfriend has even said 19-24 is still kindof young

[creole]

marriage works for some. others it ends up a disaster. either way, it's experience that everyone could gain

[Firiath]

Well, I believe that marriage in a religious sense is pointless. I may be raised Catholic, but the pressures and stigma they put on marriage is just dumb - and they're selective over what makes a good marriage. I mean, you don't see the Catholic church publicly condemning 24hour marriages but you see millions of protests that they have over gay marriage, even if the people love each other.
In the case of law, I think that it's a very useful thing to have - allowing people to be legally married allows them to have special privileges I think they need to help start a family. It lets them provide for themselves under the strain of a lot of things. You might not need a slip of paper to say that you love someone, but it helps prove you 'love' them under law and can save your ass in a lot of cases. I mean, there was this case of a man who had separated from his wife (but not legally divorced) and was living with his lover. When the man died, the lover didn't get any of the insurance money EVEN if she was the person the man put down as the person receiving the money - they gave it to his wife because she was legally the person who should get it.

[heyo-captain-jac...]

Marriage is the most useless thing with any legally binding attributes.

[misoshiru]

What if your significant other wanted you to get married?

then we can discuss it.

[tokyo-rose]

I'm not sure I'd want to get married if it weren't for the legal benefits that you get from being legally wedded to someone. As Yan Lin said, I don't need anyone or anything to tell me that I love my boyfriend/partner and want to stay with him for the rest of my life.

I think that the reason ~42% of marriages in the US fail because people get married too young and/or too soon. They don't date each other long enough to know if they could live together for the long term, don't experience enough problems and setbacks to strengthen their relationship; it's only after they marry and start a family that they realize they aren't cut out to be together and raise kids properly. People sometimes get married after just six months of dating, but I would date a guy for at least two years, most likely more, before marrying him.

[kryogenix]

I think most of you are misplacing your criticism. I believe in marriage. I just don't have faith in most of humanity to make good on their wedding vows. There's nothing wrong with getting married young. What's wrong is making a vow that you're not going to keep just cause you want to f*ck somebody.

I do not support legal marriage, whether for homosexuals or heterosexuals.

I believe marriage is for two consenting non castrated human beings of opposite gender who have passed the age of puberty, are not closely related, and are not bound by a previous marriage or Holy Orders. I do not believe in gay marriage, polygamy, divorce, or remarriage while your married spouse is still alive.

My beliefs in depth:
http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c3a7.htm

Or if you're not interested in reading all of that, wikipedia has a passable summary:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholic_marr...mental_marriage

They're selective over what makes a good marriage. I mean, you don't see the Catholic church publicly condemning 24hour marriages but you see millions of protests that they have over gay marriage, even if the people love each other.

That's retarded logic. I don't see you publicly condemning a lot of horrible things, but it doesn't mean you condone them over others.

The Catholic Church is not selective over what makes a good marriage. You say you were raised Catholic, so refer the link to the Catechism I posted above (or the wikipedia link). I think you'll find She makes Her teaching abundantly clear there.

[synapse]

I don't think that it is pointless. I do think that it is unfair that only some people can get married. I would like to get married some day.

[none345678]

As far as gay marriage goes I think the church should have the right to deny/accept as they please but government should back the f*ck up for the most part.

[brooklyneast05]

my wanting to get married has nothing to do with "needing someone to tell me that i love" my girlfriend. i want it more as an extra show of commitment. i want to differentiate between just being boyfriend and girlfriend, because it's a different thing to me. i think of bf/gf being a semi temporary thing where as steven said, the fix to problems is the option to break up. i don't want her, or myself, to feel like that's an option really.

i suppose divorce is the same thing as breaking up nowadays and it's almost as easy. for myself personally though i don't really believe in divorce. i don't plan to ever do it (not that people really plan to do that but you know). i don't want either of us to feel like that's an option. we're stuck together so we might as well work it out and find a way to be happy cause i'm sure as hell not agreeing to divorce. maybe if i was around divorce more then i would understand how it's commonplace. there isn't divorce in my family or even close family really though so it's sorta like a foreign concept in a way.