boy problems.... Options

[shshortie89]

okay, so i'm new here. but i love the adivce people are giving....

so this guy and i have dated for 3 years. and we've been off and on a lOt. right now we're not together but we still hang out ocassionally. we hung out this weekend and he's trying to be with me again. i feel like i don't love him anymore. i've had a lot of emotional (and eating) issues having to deal with him, and i'm finnally getting out of those habits now that we're not fighting/together so much. i don't want to cut off all contact with him, but i'm starting to feel like that's the only way i can get it through to him taht i really don't want "us" to be anymore....what do you guys think? <3

Sarah

[*tweeak*]

...moved to entertainment relationships

im glad i can type the right word

[nevernothere]

Perhaps you and him should have a heart to heart: tell him how you really feel. Normally guys will listen if you give him real, logical reasons. Avoiding him doesn't help.

[*salcha*]

wow.
okay, so first I think that you should just tell him how you feel.
you gotta tell him what you're feeling about him, or else he'll never know. tell him you're having issues wiht this and that nothihng's going to work out.
as for thte contact--maybe you should stay away from each other for the week and hang out together sometimes on the weekends like a movie. but be sure to invite other people too, so you won't feel as uncomfortable.

[urbanychic]

I think, just like everyone had said, to talk to him first. Avoiding him is only going to bring on anger towards you, and I'm sure that isn't what you want. Just tell him exactly how you feel, be honest. If you feel comfortable, write him a letter instead of being face to face. Either way, tell him how you are feeling. After that, you should probably minimize your time with him until he's accepted the fact that you guys won't be an item again. You could spend some time with your friends or find new interests OR do something good for others or yourself (working in the soup kitchen or working out). By doing something different, it helps get him off of your mind and opens your mind to other things. Good luck!

[swe3ttemptasian]

Tell him you want to be friends, and nothing more because you don't want to go through anymore pain.

[illuminessence]

Sometimes you hafta make sacrifices for your own benefit. He should understand that you won't always be waiting for him to come back. If he doesn't and he does not want to continue your friendship with him cuz it's too painful, then there's nothing else you can do. You both need to move on and grow without the other. Otherwise, the cycle will just continue on and it won't get anywhere.

[angelrevelation]

You both need to move on and grow without the other. Otherwise, the cycle will just continue on and it won't get anywhere.

yup what she said

[topsyturvy]

After that, you should probably minimize your time with him until he's accepted the fact that you guys won't be an item again.

^ Agreed. And you also have to get yourself over him. STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM.

Tell him you want to be friends, and nothing more because you don't want to go through anymore pain.

^ Also agreed.

Otherwise, the cycle will just continue on and it won't get anywhere.

^ Agreed again.

[shshortie89]

thanks guys <333

[Nicole0402]

Well. Tell him. You don't want to lose what you have right now. Your scared that if you try to get together again, you don't think it'll work out that way. Think of it this way. What if you were the one who wanted to get with him, but he feels the same way you feel right now. what would you want him to say?

[*stephinika*]

^^
i agree, you should talk to him. thats the only way to get through to him. good luck.

[Saeglopur]

Talk to him and if you can't stop ... go watch Eternal Sunshine For The Spotless Mind

[sheepy]

talk to him. i mean 3 years.. thts a lot. let him open up to you.

[cutey2kc]

i say, tell him how you feel. get this all off your shoulders.. plus, if you don't have anymore "feelings" , than you should break it off. it's better to tell him sooner, than later yanno? don't lead the guy on. but then again, tell him that you still want to be friends. just tell him what you've told us. =)

[sexii_baobeii]

hmm. i think...i think that u should just say "hey. i'm sorry, but i really dont think having a relationship together will work out - we've been off and on so many times now and i dont wanna have a 'light-switch relationship'. i'd rather just stay good friends." obviously this guy isnt ur "dream guy" and he wont provide u wiith any TRUE love. =)

[mistaken_identit...]

I think you should try talking to him about how you feel and how you want you and his relationship to be. Just don't put him down too quickly though...just tell him you want to stay close friends with him at this moment because of how you feel and how things are going...etc. Good luck.

[daintyme]

i agree. maybe you guys should be friends. really good friends. friends with benefits! but if he causes that much emotional turmoil for you, it's best to end that relationship with him and start a fresh one with him.

[shshortie89]

i talked to him and i felt pretty bad because he said that he really wanted to be with me, but i told him how much we keep hurting eachother and how bad it's getting. he didn't really agree completely but he at least understood where i was coming from. so now we're trying to work it out and just be friends....thanks for the advice everyone it really helped! <333

Sarah