createBlog Diary., Version 3. Options

[heyyfrankie]

Dear Createblog Diary,

i know that every entry in this thing is negative, but it is just because i am so sick! i have been sick for a week now! and yesterday, i felt like i had the flu! i had a temp, i felt so bad, my head hurt so bad, and my whole body ached! i slept all day and didn't watch any of the super bowl! it sucked. i really wanted to and have fun with my family but it just didn't work out. and today was easy, thank god! i hope i start to get better!

--Frankie

[miss barnes]

Dear Cb Diary

today was ok-found out some VERY interesting shit about donnie-dayum mayn his girl stayed with him too-

reekah

[*Azarel*]

Dear createBlog diary,
I certainly have the most wonderful friends ever.
Things will work out. I want them to. I hope they will.
*crosses fingers*
-Me.

[nhj_2006]

dear cb diary,

once again, im in 1st pd, 10 min left. hoping for a good day. 2 test today, very important to me. i still hate my new school. my baby called me this morning but i was already at school, its alright. hopefully i dont get a lot of hw today, so i can sleep early tonight.

*hoping for a good day*
<3

[whomps]

All the demons living in my house are going to stay here because I'm going to forget to clean up tonight.

Today we're having the first meeting for badminton.

I'm going to beat all my homie gee skillets from Evergreen.

- X_angawhomps

P.S. Hi Anna!

OMFG MY HAMSTER DIED!!!

[*Azarel*]

P.S. Hi Anna!

Hi Eve!
-----
Dear createBlog diary,
I don't know what's supposed to happen next. I'll elaborate later, when I get the chance to. Now, I have to get ready for school.
-Me.

[*mzkandi*]

dear createblog,
i am such a slacker. i have three worth of reading to do in three classes and there test are this week....ugh....i will get on it for sure today...*sigh*
-Kiera

[krispy_kreme333]

dear cb diary
well i am no longer happy and im screwing up my life. ive betrayed everyones trust. im feeling dead right now. im sorry to everyone(wont mention any names) and for screwing up your lives. i hope you can forgive me.
-kristin

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

i'm currently at school during "study" block so i just came to the computer lab again...life is alright. still confused but...not so much. i've just realized how deep i'm in now...not there are any consequences at the moment except my own misery. sigh.

[*Programmer*]

Dear CB Diary.
13 hours.... strait of php and mysql databasing.....can't take much more...my heads gonna explode....tryna make the best of my time though...steph looks so perdy...

[whomps]

MY HAMSTER DIED!!!!



Freaking.. I was writing that entry up there and looked at the cage and he was just..

[*Programmer*]

aww damn....poor little guy....

[sadolakced acid]

dear createblog diary,

the scars have faded from my arm from the last time i cut myself. I feel like doing it again. of course life sucks. it always sucks.

god i need a purpose besides school and homework and sleep.

-your resident insane freak.

[ANG33ZY]

Dear CB Diary,

I think i'm getting a cold. That sucks.

[heyyfrankie]

Dear Createblog Diary,

i am so sick of being sick! i know that everytime i write in this thing i talk about how sick i am but i am really sick, now! yesterday, i felt so bad, i had to come home from school early. i know that i have the flu and my parents called the doctor's office to see if would write me a Rx for my symptoms but they said for to just stay in bed untill i felt better!

i have slept for most of the morning and i plan on sleepting most of the rest of the day.

--Frankie

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary...
i'm going nuts. everytime i think that for sure he doesn't feel like that, he changes and makes it seem so again...i don't know how i feel anymore. argh! i'm going crazy.
the fact that i can't DO anything makes it so much worse....because...just, what if?

[weirdness]

dear cb diary;
i'm procrastinating again, wow.
im tired. i need sleep
i don't want to go to school tomarrow.
yeahs i have school on saturday. isnt that sad? <_<
i dont want to do hw neither
bleh

[Chii]

diary entry taken out

[*Azarel*]

Dear createBlog diary,
If everyone knew my family and my parents, they'd all know why I'm such a bitch. I'm a mean person. I realized that tonight. I'm not just a little mean; I'm a straight-up harsh bitch that hates everyone and everything. I wonder how people can stand me. I'm fucked up beyond all recognition (harhar, fubar), but seriously.. I know what pisses people off. I know when I should back off. I just can't seem to make myself stop.

I've been raised, beaten and punished my entire life. Over the most trivial of things too, like not emptying the recycle bin on the computer, or not turning off a light in a room because I was going to return in two minutes. I remember being beaten. My legs were always bruised up because my mom would hit them with wire clothes hangers. My knees and legs always hurt because my dad would make me kneel for hours on end, not letting me go to bed. It created a searing hatred in me.

And my parents, they wonder why I don't listen to them now. They wonder why I talk back sometimes. I've never gone so far as to disrespect them, but I hate having to absorb every single word of their verbal abuse without doing anything at all. I can't do it. I don't obey their orders; I don't focus on my schoolwork anymore, I don't focus on much of anything anymore except my friends. I've learned not to try anymore at anything; it's never good enough for them. I hated having to go home with a report card, "I'm sorry, I must be retarded because my lowest grade was an A-," and then being considered stupid before I was punished, even though I tried hard. I absolutely hated it.

So does that make me stupid? Does always being at the top of my classes up until second semester sophomore year really make me stupid? Does getting 1350 on the SATI on my first try make me stupid? Does getting into a private high school make me stupid? Does qualifying for numerous summer programs at prestigious colleges like Harvard make me stupid? Does it? Apparently so. I've learned to never try to please my parents again. Ever. I'll never measure up.

My friends, they're all I have. My parents hate everything about them, but I don't give a shit. They're my joy, my happiness. How else do I escape this hell? I spend every moment I can with them, trying to savor the moments, or trying to talk to them whether it be by phone or by computer. My parents absolutely hate them all. They don't even give my friends any chances. "No, I'm sorry, you can't go out with Jenn anymore because she lies to her parents and steals money. She must be stupid too. Where the hell did you meet her anyways? I bet she has a 2.0 GPA and no extracurriculars. I don't like her at all." What the fuck? No, she doesn't. She works for the goddamned money; she works goddamned hard. She deserves it. She's taking mainly the same classes as I am, and she's doing better than me. Oh, yeah, that totally makes her stupid. I will never listen to my parents.

And yet I still do. I believe that I'm stupid, that I'm worthless, that nobody cares about me sometimes. And it makes me cry like I am now. Nobody knows exactly what I go through, nobody knows how much it hurts. I can't help that people hate me now. Sometimes I revel in it, but to be honest, sometimes I yearn to be accepted. People seem to remember who I am, but they never really know me. Nobody really does. I wouldn't blame them either. It's all my fault. I'm such a sham. No wonder everybody hates me. No wonder.

-Me.

-----

I wonder if people notice.

[*Kathleen*]

Dear createBlog diary,
If everyone knew my family and my parents, they'd all know why I'm such a bitch. I'm a mean person. I realized that tonight. I'm not just a little mean; I'm a straight-up harsh bitch that hates everyone and everything. I wonder how people can stand me. I'm f**ked up beyond all recognition (harhar, fubar), but seriously.. I know what pisses people off. I know when I should back off. I just can't seem to make myself stop.

I've been raised, beaten and punished my entire life. Over the most trivial of things too, like not emptying the recycle bin on the computer, or not turning off a light in a room because I was going to return in two minutes. I remember being beaten. My legs were always bruised up because my mom would hit them with wire clothes hangers. My knees and legs always hurt because my dad would make me kneel for hours on end, not letting me go to bed. It created a searing hatred in me.

And my parents, they wonder why I don't listen to them now. They wonder why I talk back sometimes. I've never gone so far as to disrespect them, but I hate having to absorb every single word of their verbal abuse without doing anything at all. I can't do it. I don't obey their orders; I don't focus on my schoolwork anymore, I don't focus on much of anything anymore except my friends. I've learned not to try anymore at anything; it's never good enough for them. I hated having to go home with a report card, "I'm sorry, I must be retarded because my lowest grade was an A-," and then being considered stupid before I was punished, even though I tried hard. I absolutely hated it.

So does that make me stupid? Does always being at the top of my classes up until second semester sophomore year really make me stupid? Does getting 1350 on the SATI on my first try make me stupid? Does getting into a private high school make me stupid? Does qualifying for numerous summer programs at prestigious colleges like Harvard make me stupid? Does it? Apparently so. I've learned to never try to please my parents again. Ever. I'll never measure up.

My friends, they're all I have. My parents hate everything about them, but I don't give a shit. They're my joy, my happiness. How else do I escape this hell? I spend every moment I can with them, trying to savor the moments, or trying to talk to them whether it be by phone or by computer. My parents absolutely hate them all. They don't even give my friends any chances. "No, I'm sorry, you can't go out with Jenn anymore because she lies to her parents and steals money. She must be stupid too. Where the hell did you meet her anyways? I bet she has a 2.0 GPA and no extracurriculars. I don't like her at all." What the f**k? No, she doesn't. She works for the goddamned money; she works goddamned hard. She deserves it. She's taking mainly the same classes as I am, and she's doing better than me. Oh, yeah, that totally makes her stupid. I will never listen to my parents.

And yet I still do. I believe that I'm stupid, that I'm worthless, that nobody cares about me sometimes. And it makes me cry like I am now. Nobody knows exactly what I go through, nobody knows how much it hurts. I can't help that people hate me now. Sometimes I revel in it, but to be honest, sometimes I yearn to be accepted. People seem to remember who I am, but they never really know me. Nobody really does. I wouldn't blame them either. It's all my fault. I'm such a sham. No wonder everybody hates me. No wonder.

-Me.

Wow...every single freaking word, phrase, and sentence in that paragraph applies to me...I noticed. Except it's not a mater of hate...I'm simply just...ignored.

[heyyfrankie]

Dear Createblog Diary,

i went to the step show last night! it was so fun! we finally beat our rival! it was so awesome because the whole place was packed! i had never seen so many black people all at once! i loved every minute of it! and tonight i am going to see hitch. i am very excited. and i am finally getting better and better! i just get better everday!

i am so happy now!
--Frankie

[heyyfrankie]

Dear Createblog Diary,

last night was so much fun! hitch was awesome! i loved it! i was laughing the through the whole movie! and now i am about to go play tennis! i wonder how i will do?

--Frankie

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

wow. it happened last night. it actually did. thats...surprising. i almost cried after he left though...i don't know why. i felt...dirty? i don't know. it had almost happened before and i said no to it because i felt like i wasn't ready and last night i felt ready i thought to myself. i don't regret it, no but i don't know if i really was ready. and now, after that, i feel like i owe him so much in that aspect...he is the most patient person i've met if he truly doesn't mind waiting. and i want to...but i can't. i don't know why. nerves? who knows. but wow. i guess i'm still in a state of slight shock thats all. but nevertheless, i love him. with all my heart.

[miss barnes]

Dear Cb Diary

wow this past weekend has been the most hectic ever. my best friend lives in Tulsa, oklahoma and for her birthday her moms flew me out there. ok- on thursday night i flew from here (tennessee) to cincinnati. At cincinnati my dayum flight was delayed for over an hour. Finally, i got to board the flight and got to Tulsa at about 12 am. the next morning i wake up sick like a muthafukka. here i am sick, tryna enjoy myself. i was sick like 2 weeks ago! how could i be sick again? Anyways, while i was there it was striaght. we saw avant in concert. well sunday night i was supposed to fly back out. we were in oklahoma city and thats 95 miles from Tulsa. we thought i had missed the flight. got to the airport and my flight had been pushed back an hour and 15 min. to 8:10 so i didnt miss it. the delta lady said i might miss my connection in cincinnati because of this one being delayed. so, i took the chance and flew to cincinnati. i book my ass to the concourse and what do i see?....NASHVILLE...CANCELLED. wtf? i did all that running and the flight is fukkin cancelled? oh well, so they put me up in the holiday end and a new ticket to nashville for 7:20 this morning. i'm only 15 and this was mad crazy. i had never stayed in a hotel by myself before. then, all the food places were closed so i was hungry like a muthafucka. then, i only got to sleep for 4 hours before catching a shuttle bus back to the airport. WHEW!!! i caught my flight and all i have to say now is that there's no place like HOME!!

AND i got to miss friday and today...omg..today is VALENTINES DAY!!!!
i miss donnie and mario!!!

[*Programmer*]

Dear CB diary,
Found out one of my friends "Daloran" got shot down yesterday...at a club....over a girl....we were old friends....he was like a brother to me...i miss him...god why does life have to be so f**ked up.....the funeral service is next week...im not sure if i can bring myself to go...his mom wants me to be there.....god it's sad when we can't even outlive our own parents...i hate DC...why did i have to grow up in a place that so corrupt...im out.....later

-Rico