Please Don't Tell |
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 Jan 19 2005, 06:39 PM
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#1
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 Canadian Boyfriend, I think it's time  Group: Member Posts: 450 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 40,705  |
I don't know if you can tell
By my silencing spell But I'm decaying away From the thoughts that dwell Inside this empy mind It can't fade away with time This depression is dark And you're still guilty of your crime But please don't tell the doctors Becuase they've heard it all before Just let her crash and burn The attention only encourages her And I'm sure you can tell By the redness in my eyes From the bruises on my thighs The scars on my wrists And my neverending sighs That I'm not right now at all Ha, there I go again;pretending that I'll fall Who knows when I will finally fade away You wanted me on my knees, so now I crawl But please don't tell the doctors Becuase they've heard it all before Just let her crash and burn The attention only encourages her And I know you can tell But please....don't tell. |
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Jan 19 2005, 10:04 PM
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#2
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 Senior Member Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 7,025 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,051 |
i really like this one, but it ended kind of abruptly. Maybe add a line or two at the end, and repeat the I'm sure you can tell as the ending line. Otherwise amazing job, i love it!
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Jan 19 2005, 10:26 PM
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#3
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Canadian Boyfriend, I think it's time Group: Member Posts: 450 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 40,705 |
QUOTE(Gypsy Eyes @ Jan 19 2005, 10:04 PM) i really like this one, but it ended kind of abruptly. Maybe add a line or two at the end, and repeat the I'm sure you can tell as the ending line. Otherwise amazing job, i love it!  Thank you! I'll do that in a few minutes. ^^ |
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Jan 20 2005, 03:19 PM
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#4
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 LunchboxXx Group: Member Posts: 1,789 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,810 |
sounds like a hit. i like the message, too. kids are stupid.
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Jan 20 2005, 04:12 PM
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#5
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Canadian Boyfriend, I think it's time Group: Member Posts: 450 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 40,705 |
QUOTE(ryfitaDF @ Jan 20 2005, 3:19 PM) sounds like a hit. i like the message, too. kids are stupid. Teehee. Thanks. And yes, we are. |
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Jan 20 2005, 05:13 PM
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#6
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Senior Member Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 7,025 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,051 |
ah much better. nice job
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Jan 20 2005, 07:00 PM
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#7
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Canadian Boyfriend, I think it's time Group: Member Posts: 450 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 40,705 |
QUOTE(Gypsy Eyes @ Jan 20 2005, 5:13 PM) ah much better. nice job Whoot.  Thank you once again.
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| *stephinika* |
Jan 20 2005, 08:12 PM
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#8
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Guest |
well done. yeah i like the whole idea/message of it...good job.
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Jan 22 2005, 05:44 AM
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#9
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 High Voltage!∞ Group: Official Member Posts: 4,728 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,157 |
Ohh i love it!! i like this part especially:
QUOTE Ha, there I go again;pretending that I'll fall Who knows when I will finally fade away You wanted me on my knees, so now I crawl awesome job! 
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Jan 22 2005, 11:32 AM
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#10
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Canadian Boyfriend, I think it's time Group: Member Posts: 450 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 40,705 |
QUOTE(xSWEETxCANDiix @ Jan 22 2005, 5:44 AM) Ohh i love it!! i like this part especially: awesome job! Thank you.
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Jan 22 2005, 04:09 PM
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#11
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 Yawn Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,530 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,772 |
Oh man thats amazing, i feel like i'm reading my diary or somethan. I can totally relate...i think my fav part was..
QUOTE But please don't tell the doctors Becuase they've heard it all before Just let her crash and burn The attention only encourages her yah, i loved it, it was amazing.....def can relate great job!
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Jan 22 2005, 04:24 PM
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#12
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Canadian Boyfriend, I think it's time Group: Member Posts: 450 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 40,705 |
QUOTE(KissMe2408 @ Jan 22 2005, 4:09 PM) Oh man thats amazing, i feel like i'm reading my diary or somethan. I can totally relate...i think my fav part was.. yah, i loved it, it was amazing.....def can relate great job!Wow. Thanks. I think that is the best compliment I have ever recieved.
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