I never got the Apology i deserved, ex boyfriend abused me for years Options

[cewinee]

ok this is gona be long im really sorry =( but i really need advice... help mee

i've had a boyfriend where our relationship went fine for the first month but then he got controlling. he'd tell me things to convince me that he's the one for me, the only one for me, telling me that i love him.. yeah i was extremely naive back then and still growing up building a 'self' for myself.. so i was easily influenced. he manipulated me and i fell for it. the big fights would start every week, literally every week about little things that he'd make big deals about so that he makes sure i dont do those mistakes again. he pulled me away from all my friends and made me do things i wouldnt do. telling me everything bad about my friends and even myself. after time, in our weekly almost daily fights, he'd tell me to go kill myself.. and once i attempted to do so.. but ended up having my stomach pumped. he screamed at me again for even trying instead of comforting me. and of course after alittle more time.. he started hitting me. he told me that ppl you love and love you back will always make you go thru pain no matter wat.. so i let him do wat he did for 3 years on and off. i was young :( anyway i finally moved to another country with my family and so did he.. but he told me to still be his girlfriend and to be loyal. so it was an overseas relationship. i stayed loyal. however, it was a different lifestyle. i felt SO free, i had SO many friends and had SO much fun, i hadnt felt like that for a LONG time.. i was happy. i started having big problems with my parents, i cried to my boyfriend for comfort and advice but instead he just told me to "shut the f**k up just stop whining". after he found out about the fun i'd been having, he got so extremely jealous and told me to stop anything that i'm doing that caused me any fun unless it has to do with him. i didn't listen to him, i just hid from him for the first time. after a while i found out that he'd been doing everything id been doing for fun and even had gfs.. i remember i was at my best friend's house sleeping over when he admitted it.. and i almost passed out cuz i was so shocked. i was so stupid lol. but yeah i was young. by the time however id met a guy.. n he was the most amazing person id ever met n he was the first tootreat me like a human being =.) he gave me that 'nerve' the 'right' to confront anything that was in my way of being happy.. and so i did it, one day when my ex screamed at me over the phone.. i told him for the first time ever, "just shut up.." and he was so shocked he was silent for a bit so i just kept going and broke up with him and he kept saying how i need him and he needed me and i just laughed and said no i dont. haha it was an incredible feeling. then he tried to act all charming but i jus told him to shut up. i hate getting brought down to an a-hole's level but in this case i had to. i wanted to show him i changed n i dont need him =) anyway to skip a few more hurtful or watever stuff, i met a guy who changed my life =..) he helped discover and bring out the true colors of me again =.) and we've been together ever since.. its been 2years now that we're together and we're in a long distand relationship but we both save up for tickets to visit each other. we visit each other every 2 months and life cant get better than this =)
however.. the problem is that.. i keep having this thought in the back of my head about my ex, wishing that i got an apology for everything he'd done to me. as mature as i could be.. after a few months of our break up, i spoke to him. i told him calmly how he's hurt me and to not sound like a drama queen like he'd call me, i would say MY faults in how he treated me so he wouldnt get so mad so easily.. but he didnt change at all.. he just told me "no i dont regret wat i did to you.. you deserved every bit of it".. after ever few weeks n months he'd try however he could to contact me to beg me back n when id say no nicely he'd scream at me all over again. i know i should be moving on maybe.. because i have such an amazing thing now.. but i hate knowing that he's getting away with the 3years he's wasted my life of. i personally dont regret wats happened in the past because its wats made me a stronger person today.. its jus.. i dunno i cant explain.. wat should i do? jus forget about it? dont really deserve an apology? help.. sorry for such a damn long entry!! lol! hope i gets replies =(

edit--

i guess i think about it sometimes because my dad is just like him. except for the hitting thing. he always makes me feel like shit.

[Nicolatofu]

Wow, first off, I just want to say that I'm sorry that you had to go trough such a difficult thing, and that of course you deserve an apology!But it's hard how to explain this...but since he doesn't see things the way you see them (that he did something very wrong) he doesn't think he owes you anything. My father is the same way. I'm glad you found someone better, and that you learned off of all of this, but as much as you may want an apology, I don't think he's ready to give one. Try thinking about what you got out of all of this. Thank him for making you the strong person you are today, instead of dwelling upon how terrible he made those years. It will take a lot of time to get over, so don't rush yourself.

[Shattered_Hope]

that was very very long... but I agree with you..he does owe you an apology..but just remember..that not everything was his fault..your fault for letting him treat you like this..you should've broken up with him after the first signs...

[cewinee]

XKali_chik_4_lifeX.. i loved your advice =) i should thank him instead for making me the stronger person that i am today. and maybe in time he'll realize that he does owe me an apology.. or maybe he wont! either way i'm happy now =) yeah my dad's exactly like him too haha. thanks girl! ^___^

[*krnxswat*]

You can't always expect people to apologize for what they done. You may want them to, and, yet, it's their choice. I say just forget about it and move on.

[lilJdawg]

i'm sorry, for all the shit he put you through. i guess you should move on, if you really want to file chargess & then you'll get money & your apoligy. feel better, & good luck with your new boyfriend. your ex boyfriend is really a jerk.

[xj_liana_tx]

that is so scary! .. so you guys aren't living in the same country right now?? cut all your connections with him! he is.. psychotic, you are happy now and just keep it that way

[*wind&fire*]

what a jerk.. but why did you break up with him earlier?

[pinayprincess]

that so mean!!

[toodlepops.]

you are such a strong person to go through all of that sh*t. i think you should go tell a parent or someone that your ex hitted you and stuff. yea, some people a re just losers and deserve to have a girlfriend. (maybe your ex needs help) im glad you found a good person to be with now. =]

[cewinee]

well like i said i was really young and naive back then.. he was my first "real" bf..

aw thanks for the comments :)

[HongKongDong]

You can't always expect people to apologize for what they done. You may want them to, and, yet, it's their choice. I say just forget about it and move on.

Just what I was going to say

[Oreo_bro]

To be honest, forget about him. Contacting him now asking for an apology wont lead anywhere but pain on the phone. Rember that he did make you stronger, and now you have some one who will help you through it. It will take some time to get over your ex but you can do it if you give it time, im sure of it. Dont let the pain control your life, leti t make you stronger but dont dwell on it.

Im sorry you had to go though these horrible events, i wish you well

[177emories]

wow i don't have interesting stories...

anyways that ex was a real bastard how OLD were you since you keep on saying how you were young... how old? and how old are you now?

i'm glad that you have finally moved on... so this long d relationship your in what is the distance where are you and him?

happy for you now but can't belive you took that bs from the ex.

[cewinee]

hmm lets see.. i was 12 when i met him then we went out when i turned 13 and been with him til i was around 16. now im 17 turning 18 in august 27 HAhah so many ages sorry -.-
anyway yeah.. at that young age thats when you start to build your true personality n shit u know wat i mean.. but he was totally in the way of that doing that for me in an extremely negative way lol. i was jus manipulated n easily influenced like i said.
my boyfriend's in the philippines and i'm now in jordan lol so damn far eh? but i saw him for xmas n new years ^_^ he came over =) i hate it here tho -_- jordan's in the middle east.. my dad got a job here so we had to move D; sigh! anyway thanks for the comment =) muah!

[a smile is power]

You can never make anyone apologize, they have to decide. It may be hard, but let go of the whole deal and move on. I think it's extremely fortunate that you moved to a different country.

[cmgchica717]

Wow first off Im sorry to hear that you had to go thru with that. But I know how hard it is to just up and leave someone when they start abusing you. Love is blind. God I have heard that so many times and I did not realize it was true till after my ex left me. He abused me mentally everyday for 5years. At least you do not have to deal with that crap anymore. You seem like a strong person! Take care

[sheddingtears]

what a jackass. it's good that you told him off. just forget about him and if he ever says sorry. just let karma get to him & let him him live with his selfish self.

[Ington]

Oh god... that's terrible. I think you diserve more than an apology from that bastard. Lol im thinking of a couple of things he should do but im not allowed to write anything not PG-13. Well. Honestly, i don't think you'll be getting an apology from him. If he's that much of an a-hole to do all that, i don't think its even possible for him to apologize. Also, i admire your moral strength. You are one tough person.

You can always think about it this way: You came out of it with experience and a great new boyfriend. He came out of it without you. Now thats bad enough