My daughter... Options

[angel-roh]

Wow if your boyfriend beats you up. I don't think you ever want to send your daughter to him even though he paid a lot. In that kind of problems, you do not want to let your daughter see him. He should change into a better new guy with a new personality instead of hitting you like that or beating you!! That's a bad thing --- of course it is. If I was like you and if I had a boyfriend like that. I would be worried and scared. You don't need to do this and this is my opinion. If I were you, I would runaway with my daughter AWAY from my boyfriend. Who knows? He might take my daughter away from me and beat her up just like he did to me. I don't want to let that happen. So I runaway from him. A guy like him shouldn't see his own daughter. So yeah I hope this helps. By the way you have a very cute daughter. You don't want your cute daughter with some bruises like you had by your boyfriend.

[*x____duckii*]

Let him see her, but be there when he does, unless he'll start fighting in front of you and Geena, then don't. It'd hurt Geena to see you guys fight, and trust me, it'd hurt her more since she is only 4 and she'd be scared and wouldn't know what to do.

[mouse_3k]

I think you should let them see each other but only in a crowded place or somethin. Yall should go to the mall together or something. All i can see is never ever have the two of you, even the three of you be alone.

[Euphoria Rose]

No, he shouldn't be allowed to see her. He ABUSES you. That will traumatize your daughter. She will be scarred with memories of her OWN father beating her LOVING mother. Avoid him as much as possible. But if he does force his way to see her and beats you up, sue him. Bring up your past with him and how he beats you up and leave you bruised and crying to court. I'm sure the judge will give him a restraining order and if he ever gets close to you, he will be put to jail. Jackie Kennedy did the same thing because she had a deranged stalker. But what's more dangerous? An unknown stalker or an abusive ex-boyfriend? He should be sued. Be in the protection of your family. He has no right to see his daughter. He may have provided money when you were pregnant but that really doesn't matter. Your life may be at stake if he gets to you and beats you up. He may argue to you about him being the father and him having a right to see his daughter but if you disagree in any way, he may fight back, leaving you hurt. If you are abused too badly, you may die from god knows what. I know I am not much of help to you since I'm only 12, but take precautions. If you have a good friend that is a guy, he can take on the role of a god father and protect your daughter just as a father would. He would be there when your daughter needs a father. Just take precautions against him and be in safety hands of your family. If you have no more resources of help, go to the police.

[*Kathleen*]

Nah - he has no right to treat you like that. Furthermore, it's best to keep your daughter away from violence...or at least violent people.

[seffie_o0x_143]

i know this advice might sound stupid but tell your mom tell someone make him a note telling him that he's hurting you..and in the long run hes hurting your daughter.....things like this get stuck in a girls head

[TootsInTraining2]

2 words
1) Restraining
2) Order
Its the only way (abuse isnt something to be afraid of)
its something to fix

(btw: ur daughter is sooo cute)

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

i think he should be able to see his daughter, but have supervised visits. like if you go to court ,sometimes they gran the father permission but with supervision of a court member or someone of high authority, i think you should do that. so if he tries to harm her or anything he cant becos the person watching them two visit will prevent it of course.

[kyuubi319]

He's raped and beaten you. If I were you, I absolutely would not trust my daughter in the hands of a rapist, even if it is her father. Maybe, you can let him see Geena in a crowded place, like a mall. Maybe by law, but I don't think morally, he should be able to see her..

By the way, Geena is adorable <33

[UrF4vL!pGl0Z...]

He's raped and beaten you. If I were you, I absolutely would not trust my daughter in the hands of a rapist, even if it is her father. Maybe, you can let him see Geena in a crowded place, like a mall. Maybe by law, but I don't think morally, he should be able to see her..

By the way, Geena is adorable <33

raped???
Yeah, like everyone else said. Supervised visits and gain full custody. go to court if nessicary.

[priyas]

NOOO...hez abusive...dun let him see his daughter cuz he mite hit her!

ere you, I would runaway with my daughter AWAY from my boyfriend. Who knows? He might take my daughter away from me and beat her up just like he did to me.

i agree

[_confuzed_]

my advice would be to get a court order, so you don't have to make difficult decisions like this with out legal help. if you decide to go to court, then you should also bring up the subject of Tom's hitting problem. good luck

[love-issosweet]

Get away from him, seriously, even though he has a right, I really don't think it's safe for you and Geena. IF Tom still tries/struggles to see her, call the police! (Geena is SOOOO CUTE btw )

[potmonkeyjd]

I grew up watching my dad hit my mom, even though i never really saw it, when i see or hear a woman cry it messes me up bad, Don't let her see him, you have a point what if he does hit her? My dad use to hit me all the time... and as fro her asking you why he hits you... Tell her the truth, Explain to her why, i know shes young but she'll understand. Better her find out now then later, just try not to be bitter, and let her know she doen't have to make the same mistakes you did. Its not love if it leaves a bruise.. i hope i helped.. You can message me to talk more.. I don't mind.. Potmonkeyjd@yahoo.com.. Im also on yahoo messenager
Love ya

Hakkai

[c0oki3_m0n$tah]

absolutely no no no no! u shouldn't let him see her! what kind of father hits his wife in front of a child!? he does have a right, and i'm not sure, but i guess if you explain the situation in a court, than they can make him NOT see your daughter. it's for ur sake and ur daughter's, i think.

[angelrevelation]

hmm... maybe go to counseling or something with Tom. i think he has an anger management problem..

i think that you might have to get legal custody of her if he continues to be violent

[Litobabygurl88]

Wow! first of all I would like to give you props for saying all this.

But I do think, he does have the right to see his daughter. I mean he and you brought her into this world. I mean if he want to see her, meet somewhere in public where he can't hurt you and try to say something nice and considerably. I know many other people have comments for you too, i just wanted to say a word in this. Well good luck and take care.

[perfectxflaw23]

I think he gave up the right to ever see his daughter when he hit you. It's just not right.

[njgurl412]

thier right.. if u think u should go to court then go to court.

[chickenshlt]

No, he has no right to see his daughter if he beats you. Do you have full custody of her? If you don't, go to court and state that he beats you and that if Geena were to stay with him for a few days that wouldn't be a fit environment for her. As to what sweetreat91 stated about it being hard for a child to grow up without a father, well look at it this way, it is even harder to grow up seeing a father hit his/her mother.

i couldnt agree any more

[EmmalieV]

I think you should go to court seriously might take a while but at the end is worth it , He should and shouldnt see her:

Reasons why he should:
1.He is the father
2. Shes going to ask in the future

Reasons why he shouldnt:

1. He might abuse your daughter like he abused you..
2. He might take out his anger on your daughter..

but think it out list the pros and cons.

[sunissed14127]

I dont think he should see your daughter. If he hit you, think of what he could do to her. If i was you, i'd try to get a restraining order or full custody if you dont alredy. But thats just me. If you want him to see her, do it with a big group of people (including you) around because that way he wouldnt try to do anything while everyone is around.

[the_crox]

You should think what's best for yourself and your daughter. If you have to leave him, then leave him. But ya know it's your decisions.

[snak3y3z1001]

Get a restraining order against him.

[maia_dc]

I am so sorry you had to go through his abuse.
This man has no right to see your child. If he has physically abused you and hurt you, what does he want with your daughter? Protect your daugher at all costs, and do not leave her with him alone. If he must see your daughter, make sure that you and some sort of authority are with him as well. Make a life without him and protect your daughter from any violence that might traumatize her.

Best of luck to you and your adorable daughter. <33