Murder, Give this poem a chance, please? |
Murder, Give this poem a chance, please? |
Dec 16 2004, 05:44 PM
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![]() Crying Behind Blind Eyes ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 257 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,967 |
Murder
By: Savannah Harrison Words written on the side of the street, Neverending, without a beginning, Like the shadow of yourself that never seems to weep. There's this screaming, mind-numbing silence, Echoing through the hall, Calling us to something that could be considered violence. And someone innocent just cried from the corner, Looks like she might be dead, And then there's a boy, who must be a mourner. Now it must have been a murder, And you can't deny it, No, you can't deny it, because you were the one who heard her. Cause she was screaming and crying, Begging the Lord to come save her, And she must have known, like you knew, that she was the one dying. And who would have thought that he was the one, Such an irony that now unfolds, That the one who has killed her was her very own son. His defense was that she beat him, But who would believe it, Because alive she was just so proper, just so prim. He's just a boy, not yet a man, Trapped in that jail cell, Lost in his treachery, unable to stand. You saw it all with your own two eyes, Never let anyone tell you differently, What you saw were two people, taking out their anger, living their lives. |
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Sa-Chan Murder Dec 16 2004, 05:44 PM
Kathleen I like the concept, but I don't know...it does... Dec 17 2004, 06:12 PM
ComradeRed Yeah the inconsistent rythmn makes it a little har... Dec 17 2004, 08:00 PM
smthngcrprategrl34 good rhythm. i liked it. Dec 17 2004, 10:06 PM
dispn0ygonekrazy ehh hmm its good but the flow is awkward Dec 18 2004, 12:18 AM
azn_r4pf4n QUOTE(dispn0ygonekrazy @ Dec 17 2004, 9:18 PM... Dec 18 2004, 12:21 AM
electric shock violence & silence.
i pronounce violence
viiio... Dec 18 2004, 01:50 AM
Spiritual Winged Aura is it about the mother's child kill his own mo... Dec 22 2004, 03:45 AM
MyVermilionPlague I like that.. even with the inconsistent rhyming, ... Dec 24 2004, 02:46 AM
violini QUOTE(azn_r4pf4n @ Dec 18 2004, 12:21 AM)that... Dec 24 2004, 11:27 AM
not_your_average QUOTEehh hmm its good but the flow is awkward
Tru... Dec 24 2004, 04:25 PM
Cloud_X QUOTE(violini @ Dec 24 2004, 11:27 AM)^poems ... Dec 24 2004, 07:00 PM
ryfitaDF i like it. very somber. atleast that's how i i... Dec 25 2004, 02:30 PM![]() ![]() |