Yep. I'm pretty much pissed. Options

[inthemudhole]

Yeah.. so..

Okay.
I'll start here.

My best friend that I've known for about 10 years just got a boyfriend.
But my issue is.. I introduced her to him, pretty much, and I liked him first.
I guess it's my problem, because I didn't try harder to get to know him and such.. but anyway.
So he's pretty much her first boyfriend.. and she won't shut up about him.
They've been going out for about 5 days now.. and they've already made out and shit like that. It's pretty sickening, if you ask me.
But whatever.
Anyway.
She just won't shut up about him.. she never stopped to think if I was just a little bit disappointed because I liked him first, and she never thanked me for introducing him to her.
She's my best friend.. and I still <3 her, but she's getting on my nerves.
And whoa, ho, ho. I'm not even done.
Nowww she keeps flirting with my ex in woodshop class. Then she tells me all about it.. uhm, excuse me.. but do you seriously think that I want to hear about her flirting with my ex?! No. I really don't. I'm barely over him, as it is at times, so why would I want to know about how much fun she's having with my ex.

Yeah. And then another issue is.. well, I sort of tried to bring this up once.. I was very subtle and pretty polite, if I do say so myself.. then she got all defensive and said, "Yeah? Well, this is how I felt when you and Alec were going out!" And not to be all.. defensive towards myself, but I never acted like this when I was going out with Alec.. I never talked to her about him, and I certainly never snuggled/hugged/kissed/made out with him while she was around.. and for that matter, while ANYONE was around. So she can't exactly pin that on me.

I really hope I'm not coming across as a conceited, egotistical bitch.. but all of this is really annoying the shit out of me..

I've tried bringing it up in very subtle ways, and it's obviously not working.. but I really do not want to be reminded about how giddy she is and how they've already made out and shit. I don't want to be reminded that she got the guy I saw first.

I guess I should be happy for them, but it's pretty hard to be, you know?
I congratulated them, and smiled for them for the first few days, but it got old really quickly, you dig?

And now there's a dance coming up on Friday.. thank GOD I got Liz [sporadic] to come with me.. or there'd be no way in Hell I would go. I see enough of her hugging him and shit after school.

Okay, anyway. I guess I should wrap this up, since it's getting a bit lengthy.

I suppose this was more of a rant than asking for help and such.. but I do have one question.

How do I basically tell her all of this without her thinking I'm jealous and being a bitch?
I want her to know that I'm sick of it, and it hurts.. but I don't want her to get all defensive and possibly pick a fight.. I really do not want to come across as a bitch towards her, I mean.. I've been best friends with her for ten long years. I don't want to soil our relationship over this..

So.. how can I bring it up?
Obviously being subtle isn't working, but I don't exactly know how to summarize all of this into a friendlier manner.

[LadyXTor]

wow...well....you already know your friend is upset about you dating this 'alec' fellow so this is her revenge...suprise suprise. I know you like him...but did you attempt to ask him out? I know gratitude feels good so you can joke around and say, " Arentcha glad i introduced you two?" drop that hint. If things get to gross for you when they make out and stuff...just walk away. Tell your friend you don't care much about your ex anymore and if the problem persists just drown it out.

[HikaruTakekawa]

if this is her first boyfriend then its kinda normal that she get flirty around other boys because obviously being that this is her first boyfriend this will impact her self esteem causing her to feel like she's hot or something, it'll die down in after a while. if you've already tried being subtle then try walking away and saying this is your business and i'd rather not hear about it. give her some time, she'll come back to u eventually. in a way its like a phase in her life, where she's getting to know her bf so she'll want to constantly talk about him but it'll die down a bit in a while. good luck with everything and i dont know if this helps much but yeah...sorry.

[*x____duckii*]

Woah, you must be in a pretty tough situation right now. Just tell her everything you said here. Tell her that it's hurting you. Explain what you feel. She'll understand if she really sees you as a friend. Remember, somebody that chooses their boyfriends over you are obviously not good friends at all. Same applies if she doesn't listen to you and gets all defensive. Well if she doesn't take her time to listen to you, then obviously she isn't a good friend and isn't worth your time. Trust me, I know it's hard. I hope you feel better and things work out between you two.

[Nicolatofu]

well, you could get a boyfriend and then talk about him all the time, and make out/snuggle/hug him while she's around then maybe she'll get a clue. However, talking to her and telling her you don't care if they are going out you just wish they would keep their more intimate gestures towards each other down a notch when you're around and that you don't mind talking to her about him to a point might work a little better.

[Mireh]

well, by the way she's acting, i'd just tell you to go ahead and bitch at her.

[misoshiru]

well, by the way she's acting, i'd just tell you to go ahead and bitch at her.

yes, unfortunately, i agree. she's being a bitch.

[swtpumkinpie]

if you've already tried being subtle and she's getting upset then what's the difference if you just tell her straight out? If she's any kind of friend, she'll understnad how you feel and chill out.

[NgocQuyen]

umm.....i agree with some of them pplz....she's being a bizatch...hahaha....im sorry...but she is..=\ and i'd be a bizatch to her also....lols...and it sounds as if she's using her bf jes to get back at you...what kind of friend is she? certainly not a good one..=\

[eyes__half_open]

wow, thats alot of crap 4 u 2 go through. im feel very sry 4 u &i really am not sure wat 2 tell u, seeing as how i dont personally know yr friend, ex, or her bf, i cant really give u a good answer. wat i would do is be supportive, & i know u r & i know its hard, but its a good start. also try to like not care when she talks about yr ex or her bf. not roll yr eyes, but like try to change the sbject. this will ive her a lil sign that u really dont care that much yet yr supportive. this should get her 2 stop & yet know that yr happy 4 her.

thats wat i would do. i hope that helped.

[inthemudhole]

Thank you, everyone.

I personally am starting to realize that she's not a bad friend, but I'm just so subtle about things and I don't want to get her pissed at me for speaking out, so I just kind of hold things in. I think she's just a bit.. overly wrapped up in her first boyfriend, but I have no idea.

I'm going to try and talk to her about this stuff either tonight, or tomorrow night after the school dance.

Thanks again.

[*AngelicEyz00*]

i was reading this... and I just realized you, Despise, are Brie.

But really, if she isn't getting the hints, then you just straight out need to tell her. Or if she's making out with what's his face, you go somewhere else. If she talks about him, try to change the subject or straight out tell her you don't wanna hear it.

Anywho, the way you told your story was quite amusing

[sheddingtears]

omfg. seriously. when my best friend was single and crap, she always tells me stories of her flirting everyday with guys. she would get all GIDDY about it. & she also tells me how the people i used to like touches her there and there or whatever. sometimes it does hurt to know that, but i can accept the fact that i never really spill my innermost secrets about the guys i like because i can't trust her very well.

i totally understand why you feel so annoyed. well, i told her that she always talk about guys and how she needs to stop. it's not like i really care or can relate to her. i mean like she's giving me all the details of how some certain guy said hi to her. i mean like WHO GIVES? then she begins to assume that i don't like guys or like talking about them AT ALL. gosh it was very narrow-minded of her.

anyways, i was subtle to her but that still got me nowhere in letting her be quiet. i'm glad now she has a boyfriend and yeah only concentrates on him. i guess you should say how you feel in a calm way, but not in a way that she might think you're jealous or a total bitch.