completely lost Options

[damaged01rose]

as the topic goes,i'm completely lost. i am like,totally confuse,i hav no fukin clue 'bout wat da hell is going on with me.never feeling satisfied,im always searching for something more,and maybe i need help,i don't know. i don't know how to say this,i don't even know why i'm posting this,to most,yeah,bunch of bullshit about sum random depress grl's life,and i guess this is,just please dont criticize. there is a reason why i'm posting here,and i guess i'm widenin my search, and maybe i'd find who i'm looking for here.i just want someone who could understand,someone who could understand,one who could sort my distorted mind.i have no clue what i'm saying either..maybe i could explain myself better in a poem i wrote..lol

Falling Back
None left to trust
Counting the seconds,I fingered the dust
Three has fallen,one in counting
I'm desperate,in need,prayed you hear my call
The love was true,it seemed so pure
I knew,thought,that this was the cure
Paranoia fell,again in fear
What the hell is wrong with me?
The same all these years
Their voices begins to drift away,the smiles begins to look so fake
Stabbed once again,I watched the last fade
Back,again,into my bloody facade
This is happening all too fast
My carved initials still lingered the desk
Maybe it's time,that I finally confess
I'm not you,in no way together
I fall to pieces,as simple as the tears that gather
Stumbling through life,every move a guess
Looking into the mirror,my reflection's a mess
Daily I'd break,becoming less and less
Praying to decease,when will I get a rest
I don't know how you couldn't see
See me screaming,trying to break free
All so blind,I'm finally giving in
Yesterday?
Yeah,the way it has been.