alone, my first post in this forum =] Options

[*stephinika*]

hey...i finally decided to post here. i used to write so much poetry back in my earlier high school years...the drama of freshmen and soph year creates great inspiration, hehe. so this one is kinda old but i actually like it. enjoy. yes its one of my very FEW rhyming ones...constructive criticism please and thank you.

//edit// i just realized this one comes after the other two poems i posted haha...so yeah just thought i'd let you all know.

Alone
by stephinika

Sadness so deep
No happiness to bear
Everlasting loneliness
Fulfillment not there
Needing more love
Yet never receiving
Answers are wanted
But none worth believing
Emptiness not spared
For the heart that is broken
The words always wanted
Are just never spoken
The beautiful feelings
Shan’t be brought out
For it could bring forth
Incredible doubt
The one who needs love
Can never obtain
For she seems to be cursed
With everlasting pain

[TheSilenceInDict...]

I really like your style of writing...
Makes me reminiscent of my own.

It's written how the emotions and thoughts that go through you are - very unsorted yet well collected, very erratic and fast paced.
I like writing in that fashion because it truly reflects and expresses myself well, given that the style matches how I was at the time.

Good stuff, hope to see more from you!
I'm glad more people are participating here.

-Joe

[fairy_princess]

Wow, that has to be my most favourite one of your poems. Its great.

x

[Spirited Away]

What I like most is the fact that the poem tells a story instead of just feelings as I have thought at first.

Also, what's interesting is that you included positive words (i.e. happiness, beauty, fulfillment, incredible... etc) only to neutralize them with negatives (i.e not there, loneliness, broken) and then bring them to a negative level when the poem is over.

This is very creative and original!!!