A lost Xanga post Options

[TheSilenceInDict...]

Felt like I should post it...I loved the first line. That was all.
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My best friend is boredom. Or at least it has been since my break started. I absolutely despise the fact that I have been finding myself constantly trapped in a vicious cycle that is slowly driving me insane.

One factor of the cycle is finding escape in sleep - Unfortunately, every slumber has it's wake. It's pretty frightful in a sense...Sleep to me was always something I didn't really take much liking to. This was because I often associated sleep with death. I saw it as...A preview of what death would be like. Black, Empty, A state of unknowing, Of not being.
This ultimately led to my insomnia stricken nights while growing up. But sleep was healing...Almost soothing to a disfunctional, fallen apart life. It was the threshold to a new beginning...A new day.

But even with new days, The shadows of the past close in and crumble down, Shading out the "beautiful sunshine" of superficial happiness. Failing in finding escape in sleep, I wallow in the utmost self-abhorration and regret. When the emotional convulsions subside, I then find myself facing boredom. I become frustrated, Pinned down by the chains of boredom.

Well, Things seem to edging towards a better looking path...I'm holding up nonetheless.

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I need to read more of my old Xanga entries.