falling for your bestfriend, help! >.< Options

[jihae526]

hm yeah i need some help because i'm falling for my bestfriend AGAIN. we already went out before and stuff, and all of my friends say there still is chemistry, but should i say anything? i really want to go to homecoming with him too. ugh i'm so hopeless! any advice?

[pikimoo]

well. what happened last time?

[Looow]

Well why did you two break up in the first place?

[jihae526]

i'm pretty sure it was my fault cuz i was a pretty bad girlfriend. he always made time for me when he was busy, but i didn't do the same

[nyctophiliac]

a lot of people fall for their best friends, just tell him how you feel and i bet you'd feel a lot better

[Falon]

I don't really think that this is a question you can get a valid 'yes'/'no' answer from strangers... Love is a game of the heart that must sometimes be played with the mind.

Ask yourself not just about NOW but also about the FUTURE. Could you stand it if you two broke up? HOw would it affect your friendship? Is that a risk you're willing to take? Which is more important to you, him as a friend, or him as a boyfriend? What's best for him? What does HE want?

You said that you've already tried this, and it failed. Has anything changed since then? Have you become a different person? Has he? Would you be able/willing to make time for him? Maybe you need to put this relationship thing on hold, wait until you can and are able to give him the time he deserves. Remember, it's not just your emotions in the balance, but his too.

And why, pray tell, can't you go to Homecoming with him as a friend? That's what I do, and actually what a lot of people do. That way, neither has to feel like they can't dance with someone else if they want, and who knows, perhaps, durring a slow dance with him, he'll ask you if you wouldn't, perhaps, mind being his girlfriend...

Follow your heart - it knows what it wants.

[jihae526]

thanks so much! yeah i could go to homecoming with him as friends, but the feeling that he might have someone he wants to ask doesn't exactly dissapear. and as a friend i don't want to stop him. thank so much i'll wait and see.

[conster]

then thats another reason y u should talk it out wit him.. in case he does wanna ask someone else but dont wanna hurt u.. thats pretty bad

[ohBrian]

I think thats the GREAT chemistry!!

[JasonAkAWolf]

I don't really think that this is a question you can get a valid 'yes'/'no' answer from strangers... Love is a game of the heart that must sometimes be played with the mind.

Ask yourself not just about NOW but also about the FUTURE. Could you stand it if you two broke up? HOw would it affect your friendship? Is that a risk you're willing to take? Which is more important to you, him as a friend, or him as a boyfriend? What's best for him? What does HE want?

You said that you've already tried this, and it failed. Has anything changed since then? Have you become a different person? Has he? Would you be able/willing to make time for him? Maybe you need to put this relationship thing on hold, wait until you can and are able to give him the time he deserves. Remember, it's not just your emotions in the balance, but his too.

And why, pray tell, can't you go to Homecoming with him as a friend? That's what I do, and actually what a lot of people do. That way, neither has to feel like they can't dance with someone else if they want, and who knows, perhaps, durring a slow dance with him, he'll ask you if you wouldn't, perhaps, mind being his girlfriend...

Follow your heart - it knows what it wants.

I agree with Falon you should listen to her

[mony0407]

okay i have been in this exact position with my best friend. umm yah Best Friends *always* have chemistry.. thats why they're best friends, they get along. i say GO FOR IT, being with my best friend was one of my best relationships because they already know everything about you, and they are your best friend, they wouldnt ever wanna loose you.. soooo theres nothing to risk!

[Falon]

... they already know everything about you, and they are your best friend, they wouldnt ever wanna loose you.. soooo theres nothing to risk!

Actually, this isn't always true. Sometimes, just because you can be REALLY good with each other platonically doesn't always mean that you can have something as good or better romantically. Some people just aren't compatable like that. There are different pressures on a platonic relationship than there are on a romantic relationship.

But congrats, mony, on being able to have a romantic relationship with your bestfriend. I did note, how ever, that you used past tense in reference to the romantic relationship....