Poetry. |
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 Aug 11 2004, 11:04 PM
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#1
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 who again?  Group: Member Posts: 555 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 31,458  |
ok everyone, if you have poetry, any poetry submit it please. i love to read it as well as write it. dont be afraid, any piece of poetry is a work of art. I could learn a few pointers as well as give a few pointers, if you have any opinions about poems give them out, help the poet out if he has a few mistakes you think he made. and please, all of the poems here are copywrited by the people who write them, it really pisses me off to see someone copy and paste a poem from another website. thanx.
<3 andrew. |
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Aug 11 2004, 11:33 PM
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#2
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who again? Group: Member Posts: 555 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 31,458 |
im shortening my poetry submittings. i find them to me a nuisance....
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Aug 12 2004, 10:27 AM
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#3
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 BiGdRaGoN31 Group: Member Posts: 463 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 2,585 |
herre u go,i wrote this bout a gurl that use to like me but doesnt anymore,n i still like her,
When you run away I follow When you feel sad I feel your sorrow I hope there will be better days for you Maybe tomorrow Through all the sadness and madness There is still some gladness You make me happy You make me sad You make me jealous You make me mad You don’t like me But I still like you What should I do? Should I act a fool? The only thing I want to hear you say is I like you too But to bad I wasted my time Lost my chance It might be a little too late for some romance The time has come The time has past I still think bout you all the time Can’t get you off my mind I care about you Don’t you see? More than you care about me Even though You cause me pain You cause me stress You cause me anger God you give me every feeling in the world! But I still can’t let you go I just want you by my side I want you with me all the time I want to protect you I want to be there for you I.....I love you |
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Aug 12 2004, 10:34 AM
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#4
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who again? Group: Member Posts: 555 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 31,458 |
great flow, i love this type of poem. great word choice i only see one error, and thats toward the end. not as many periods : )
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Aug 12 2004, 02:39 PM
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#5
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BiGdRaGoN31 Group: Member Posts: 463 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 2,585 |
thx, u think it would be better if it was like:
I, I love you ?? is that better? |
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Aug 12 2004, 02:55 PM
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#6
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,384 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 37,337 |
whoa kick ass poem
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Aug 12 2004, 04:34 PM
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#7
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BiGdRaGoN31 Group: Member Posts: 463 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 2,585 |
thank u
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Aug 12 2004, 10:27 PM
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#8
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who again? Group: Member Posts: 555 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 31,458 |
QUOTE(BiGdRaGoN31 @ Aug 12 2004, 4:34 PM) thank u I, I love you sounds good, maybe try taking out the extra I? say it. |
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Aug 13 2004, 11:00 AM
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#9
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 Newbie Group: Member Posts: 4 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 18,627 |
Laughter is the best medicine
Laughter is the best medicine It heals those whom are sad. It mends those hearts that are broken. And it gives a sense of life To those who gave up on life And said life has no meaning Laughter is the best medicine It dries a tear from one’s eye It makes one’s day brighter And it helps one’s life feel As though they could open up Anytime, Anywhere Laughter is the key to a great friendship Show someone you care Prove to someone you understand Laugh once in awhile I guarantee it’ll mend every little something Laughter will always be the best medicine By: Cleo E. |
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Aug 13 2004, 11:55 AM
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#10
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 646 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,847 |
heh awesome idea andrew ^_^
uhm this one is currently untitled (as are most of my poems) its only gone through one edit, so suggestions are really appreciated. and yeah its about suicide so... As I lay here and weep - I pray the Lord my soul to keep - See my blood, crimson red - From slit wrists and a bullet to the head - An empty bottle once filled with pills - Who knew that what should heal also kills? - My life flashes on the wall - Every scream, every tear that made me end it all ceng - nice poem, even though i'm not a huge fan of Blank Verse. third line "it mends broken hearts" instead, maybe? last line "I guarantee it’ll mend everything" those lines kinda stick out because of length BiGdRaGoN31 - i liked the ending... seems like u were nervous to admit it. that or you were listening to Burn at the time =P lol nice poem |
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Aug 14 2004, 12:43 AM
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#11
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Brie Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 10,172 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,548 |
Ooh. Great poems, everyone!! =-]
I've been having a major writer's block lately..  I'll post one pretty soon.. if I can unblock t3h block. |
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