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A man and his dog
Grand_master_1
post Aug 11 2004, 04:59 PM
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Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend
so get yourself a dog."
 
F1R3B4T
post Aug 11 2004, 05:02 PM
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lmao i heard that one b4 but its still funni
"mister go get urself a dog"
lol
 
elmogurly
post Aug 11 2004, 06:15 PM
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i've heard that one before. it's still interesting..hehe
 
MasterNe0
post Aug 11 2004, 06:36 PM
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I heard a verison of this. It a funny joke.
 
pnai4eva
post Aug 12 2004, 01:35 PM
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I heard this joke b4, but i still like it!
 
swtpumkinpie
post Aug 12 2004, 02:12 PM
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heheheh. why doesn't he just say sex is a dog and he named the dog sex? geez. heheheh
 
F1R3B4T
post Aug 12 2004, 02:31 PM
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QUOTE(swtpumkinpie @ Aug 12 2004, 2:12 PM)
heheheh. why doesn't he just say sex is a dog and he named the dog sex? geez. heheheh

coiz then it wouldn't be funni
 
nycxjohn
post Aug 12 2004, 09:45 PM
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lmao wth! the jokes confusing
 
dani41790
post Aug 12 2004, 11:17 PM
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lmao he shouldn of named her that
 
tootsie_kiddo
post Aug 13 2004, 12:24 AM
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hahahahahahaha nice joke laugh.gif
 
Devastation
post Aug 13 2004, 12:25 AM
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who again?
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lol nice.
 
Luster Soldier
post Aug 13 2004, 12:30 AM
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Hahaha, very very very interesting.
 
IIO__oII
post Aug 13 2004, 02:11 PM
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HAHAHA
you BET sex isnt a man's best friend... -_-;;
 
xtremeliquid
post Aug 13 2004, 06:52 PM
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I've heard this joke before.
 
Yemmerz
post Aug 13 2004, 06:54 PM
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Hah. I think I've come up a name for my future dog.
 
whomps
post Aug 13 2004, 07:01 PM
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Aww, that's so sad. Haha.
 
x hYpErRoSeY x
post Aug 14 2004, 01:00 PM
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lol thats just plain sad
 
F1R3B4T
post Aug 14 2004, 11:26 PM
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lol i dunno if its sad but its hella funni...
lol i read it again...
"i want to haf sex at my wedding" er sumthin like that
that part is hilarious
 
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