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75 wayz to order pizza, itz a damn long list
tootsie_kiddo
post Jul 27 2004, 05:12 AM
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this is long but i tried sum of these and it was fun =P

75 Fun Ways To Order A Pizza

1. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. When they ask for your phone # give them theirs and see if they notice.

8. Answer their questions with questions.

9. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

10. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.

11. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

12. Stutter on the letter "p."

13. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."

15. Change your accent every three seconds.

16. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

18. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

20. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" See how they respond.

21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

22. Imitate the order taker's voice.

23. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"

26. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.

27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."

28. Eliminate verbs from your speech.

29. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

30. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

31. Ask to see a menu.

32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

33. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

34. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

35. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask person taking the order to stop doing that.

36. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

37. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

38. Psychoanalyze the order taker.

39. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

40. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

41. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.

42. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

43. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

44. Try to talk while drinking something.

45. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"

46. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

47. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

48. Be vague in your order.

49. Use CB lingo where applicable.

50. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.

51. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.

52. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

53. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.

54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

55. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

56. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

57. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

58. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

59. Put them on hold.

60. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

61. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."

62. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

63. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

64. When you've given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

65. Haggle.

66. Order a one-inch pizza.

67. Order term life insurance.

68. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

69. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

70. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

71. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."

72. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.

73. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.

74. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

75. Order a steamed pizza.
 
MrElsewhere
post Jul 27 2004, 03:49 PM
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lmao..dats funny stuff
 
JessJR1022
post Jul 27 2004, 03:52 PM
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I have heard of those before.... there's one about wal-mart too
 
dani41790
post Jul 27 2004, 05:25 PM
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lmao thats funni, i should try that
 
conster
post Jul 27 2004, 05:27 PM
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dang i read all of it lols ima try the one with giving their # to them next time hehe
 
likeachild
post Jul 27 2004, 07:32 PM
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omg yeah

my friends tried that and they hung up on him!!!

lol
 
celebrityaddict5
post Jul 27 2004, 10:14 PM
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AHAHAHAHA!!! laugh.gif I was at work when I read this and I was lol and the people in their cubicals were looking at me as if I was crazy!! Hahaha I havent heard of those before, it's really funny. Next time I order a pizza I'm going to use the "Ksssssssssst" one and the number thing asking them to stop doing that. Hahahahahahaha.
 
yeseulx3
post Jul 29 2004, 02:02 PM
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haha that's cute... happy.gif
 
SarahxJoy
post Jul 29 2004, 02:25 PM
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What the fack.
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LoL! That just made my entire day. Thanks for posting that. Real funny stuff. laugh.gif
 
Levy2k6
post Jul 29 2004, 02:33 PM
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Word.
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some of them are pretty stupid but some i will actually do.
 
*Fallen_Fairy*
post Jul 29 2004, 02:42 PM
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i can't believe i read the whole list _unsure.gif
 
casssy
post Jul 29 2004, 04:37 PM
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haha some of those are funny.. i think ill try some out with my friends =]
 
Sumiaki
post Jul 29 2004, 04:47 PM
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Hahah those were soo funny. I guess we'll be having pizza tonight... muhahahaha... shifty.gif
 
burts_bees
post Jul 29 2004, 05:00 PM
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that was SO funny..but i kinda feel bad for those pizza guys..
 
elmogurly
post Aug 9 2004, 06:16 AM
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I don't ever want to work at a pizza place now. I know the effects of a bored person who has a secret hatred towards pizza workers... ohmy.gif
 
nycxjohn
post Aug 9 2004, 09:12 AM
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lols nice...
 
Streetbawler91
post Aug 9 2004, 10:58 AM
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lol ahaha
 
silver-rain
post Aug 9 2004, 12:07 PM
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haha, wow. next time i order pizza, i'm gonna use soem of those.
 
Chaos13
post Aug 9 2004, 12:21 PM
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this is so cool! im going to try it! i like the shooting one!


i like sushi
 
F1R3B4T
post Aug 9 2004, 01:48 PM
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LOL LMAO THOSE ARE HILAIROUS! imma try sum of them soon
 
Just AJ
post Aug 9 2004, 03:34 PM
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Is it maturity, or admitting defeat...?
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omg, Airii, so funny laugh.gif I gotta try some of those. Definetely made my day happy.gif
 
sushiluva
post Aug 9 2004, 06:42 PM
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hmm.. ::goes to order pizza:: shifty.gif
 
POonSKi
post Aug 9 2004, 07:37 PM
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i'll probably try it...lol~
 
acidbreeze
post Aug 11 2004, 02:51 AM
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Wow, I was seriously laughing out loud reading this..Hilarious, I gotta try some.
 
PAPAHSMuRF
post Aug 11 2004, 05:03 AM
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LMAO .. poor pizza guys ..
 

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