friends = frustration, do you agree?? Options

[always_n0vember]

So I'm almost 20. I've been out of high school for 2 years. The one thing I miss the most are the friends that I had. You think that you are going to spend the rest of your lives with these people, you expect them to be there when you need, but once you graduate you start to realize who the TRUE and REAL friends are... The frustrating thing is... is that my old friends call me to hang out with them... I'll hang out... but when its time for me to call them to hangout with me they are no where to be found... they cant answer their cell phones or anything, they cant even text me back... dang.. what is up with that?!? I guess I'm just pretty upset cuz I dont have a group of friends... I feel so alone... (other than having my man around) hmmmm....

any of you in the same boat as I am??!!?

[defjam_gangsta]

Greetings!!

i know how it feel. when i graduated, da only frens i have were online. well, there was a handful of "live' frens and we tried hard to keep in touch wit each other. well, we tried. which is why each of us has xanga. at least, we can still keep in touch tat way. still i won't rule ma fens out coz frens are part of me since day one in skol!! and tat is a long long time ago!!

CHEERS CB!!

[DisneyPrincessKa...]

I have 2 best friends, I'm really glad that we're stuck at the same school until we graduate. If I lost touch with them everything would suck. I'm not very social outside of school, and I hate most people in my grade, but they make it all worthwhile.

[shawty_redd]

sorry.. i haven't graduated yet

[tina_dc]

Thats the one thing i'm scared about Graduating. I have one yr left with my two best friends and i know they aren't going to keep in touch. Well a bit, but not so much. They kept writing on their xanga that they miss me etc etc, but when it came to calling, they never did call me ? So yeah durring the summer, i hardly spoke to them......except on the internet, which isn't the same thing

[hybrid]

Yeah, even though I haven't graduated yet, I know what you mean about friends. You think they are gonna be with you for like the rest of your life.. but .. that doesn't really happen.

[silver-rain]

yeah, i know what you mean. i haven't graduated yet- but it seems like all my friends are distant. i don't really hang out with them anymore- and i feel lonely a lot. i guess this is why i don't have any best or close friends.

[pinayinred]

hey... don't worry too much about it. we all go through stages like that. i'm 24 and went through the same thing back when i graduated. and surprise! i'm STILL going through changes like that with my friends. it's all part of that crappy thing we call, REALITY. but yeah, just thought this lil thing (below) might help you out....

"Quarterlife Crisis" by Alexandra Robbins

They call it the "quarter-life crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two but then get hot and scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you are.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not.

You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you, or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One-night stands and random hookups start to look cheap, and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You wonder what in the hell is wrong with you.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

[illmizzkim]

Yeah, even though I haven't graduated yet, I know what you mean about friends. You think they are gonna be with you for like the rest of your life.. but .. that doesn't really happen.

I agree. K1m I love you.

[initial-seven]

then you should make new friends....

[tina_dc]

then you should make new friends....

Yes but sometimes when you lose someone, you'd most likely want to find someone just like that. That's even harder because everyone isn't exactly the same

[AzNPmPGMr]

graduating?..... wuts that?

[black_cloud10]

my friends are the best. we were a really close group in 8th grade, but everyones at different high schools now. of course me and my two best friends are seperated, but we still keep in touch, we have our own msn group where we hang out alot, we go to the movies, the mall, whatever. i know we might not be friends for life, but i'm not gonna waste a minute of the awesome friendship i've got now worrying about when things are gonna fall apart.

[tina_dc]

graduating?..... wuts that?

when you've finished highschool? Or as the dictionary puts it:
To be granted an academic degree or diploma: Two thirds of the entering freshmen stayed to graduate.

[JlIaTMK]

see thats exactly what im worried about.... that after high school every single one of my friends is going to have their own life and no ones gona care about me....

[stealthllogic]

that happens to me all the time and im only 13 =D

[always_n0vember]

THANKS GUYS FOR THE SUPPORT!!! <33

[sheddingtears]

"but once you graduate you start to realize who the TRUE and REAL friends are..."

^ wow. I guess that's true. I'm still in HS right now. My two best friends aren't at the same level as me. We all have different colleges and UCs we plan to go to. I'm pretty much a loner when I graduate then, but who knows. I'm already an independent person. I just hope that my friends and I will still be in contact after graduation.

[sheepy]

i agree. i realized dat deres no such thing as "friends forever" .. when we were lil we always signed dose thingys we wrote to each other bff. grr.. i dunt dink i even have a best friend nemore.. losted it sorta.

[xsweetdreams12x]

Sorry, I haven't graduated yet.

Even though I haven't graduated, it's Summertime and everybody's busy. Whenever I want to go to the movies nobody can, and whenever THEY wanna go, I'm available.

[conster]

damm.. lol i dunno but a lot of college friends tell me that u find ur real and true friends wen ur at college not in hs... i hope hes not right..

[Darkpekkle]

yea. i've lost touch with many of my high school friends, mainly because we just don't have the time to constantly contact one another.

In high school, it was easy... you had the same lunch periods, you took the same train/bus home, you played the same sports in gym class, you joined the same clubs and hung out together afterschool. Friendships could easily be formed.

But in college, it's so much harder- you don't see each other everyday, you're really busy with schoolwork and whatnot, and you find yourself with less things to talk about with them (i.e. they don't go to the same college as you, so you can't complain about the principal or the courses you have to take, etc).

[IVERSONxbayb3]

yeah, i know what you mean. i haven't graduated yet- but it seems like all my friends are distant. i don't really hang out with them anymore- and i feel lonely a lot. i guess this is why i don't have any best or close friends.

i feel da same way but thisz year in school ima try to stop being so shy and make some new friends lol oh well..i guess its cause i dont trust ppl easily..my best friend for 5 years moved this summer =( nd my other best friend nd me dont really see each other cause we go to different schools..ugh me getting mad easily prolly doesnt help keep friends either..well i guess da month i have left of summer needs to be dedicated to changing myself to the nicer person i used to be back in elementary school..after all i still have 3 years with these ppl b4 we graduate ..hopefully sophmore year will go by as fast as freshmen year went

[imadorkabledxd]

my friends dont frustrate me..but i think i frustrate them. i have great friends

[sandra]

im sorta experiencing that too. i sometimes feel "used" by some of my friends. like whenever u need them to talk to or just to hang out, they say they're busy or they cant. then the friendship starts to fade out until they ask u for help or hang out cuz they have no one. sooo i feel like im just a backup person