Dreams, Poem...I actually like this one... |
 Jul 16 2004, 11:28 PM
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#1
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 Crying Behind Blind Eyes  Group: Member Posts: 257 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,967  |
Dreams
By: Savannah Dedicated To: My Boyfriend Written: 11:27 PM, July 16, 2004 I'm dreaming of you now, In our own private land we stand. If I could, I would steal away your tears, I would fight back all your fears. Don't get me wrong, I know we haven't known eachother all that long. I'd love to be your hero, Reduce your pain to zero. In my dream I do. In my dreams I slaughter what's between us, No, what I feel for you, it's not mere lust. You are my heart and soul, With my life, I would pay the toll. Everyone around us, They all said I couldn't love you. But that was just a lie, Because I couldn't love you more, Even if I tried. For you I'd kill myself, I'd bathe in my own blood, I'd slit these two damned wrists, And die thinking of your kiss. For you I'd be insane, I'd wish away the world, I'd make everything between you and me vanish, Make it all become inane. I'd love to hold you close to me, Revel in my love for you, Fantasize of all the things that we could be, I'd stay by your side until my life passes me by. Simply because I can, Because you see me the way I am, I'm dreaming of you now, eternally... |
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Jul 16 2004, 11:47 PM
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#2
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 WUT THA DUCK? Group: Member Posts: 3,950 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 14,138 |
oo wow!!! a very nice poem!!! i love the rhyme scheme!!! i could never write anything clever and smooth like that!!!
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Jul 17 2004, 10:45 AM
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#3
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 Kermit the frog = <3 Group: Member Posts: 2,315 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 15,215 |
aww. I really like it.
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Jul 17 2004, 11:28 AM
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#4
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 Random Rei =) Group: Member Posts: 456 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 25,490 |
wut a kool poem! i luv it! ^^
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Jul 17 2004, 04:06 PM
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#5
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POWAPOSTA Group: Member Posts: 3,169 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,725 |
i really like it, but i dont think the last line fits in with the rest of the poem.
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Jul 17 2004, 05:28 PM
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#6
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Crying Behind Blind Eyes Group: Member Posts: 257 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,967 |
QUOTE(airam @ Jul 17 2004, 4:06 PM) i really like it, but i dont think the last line fits in with the rest of the poem. You're right. I changed the last line. |
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Jul 18 2004, 05:45 AM
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#7
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 Sharie. Group: Member Posts: 2,429 Joined: Dec 2003 Member No: 103 |
Savannah! It's beautiful! I'm sure he will get your message. ^^
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Jul 18 2004, 11:17 AM
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#8
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Crying Behind Blind Eyes Group: Member Posts: 257 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,967 |
QUOTE(crazeegirl411 @ Jul 18 2004, 5:45 AM) Savannah! It's beautiful! I'm sure he will get your message. ^^ Hehe. Thank you! ^^ |
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Jul 18 2004, 01:38 PM
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#9
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 7,048 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 22,696 |
nice nice.... its really hard to make a poem that long
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