falling in love with a close friend.. Options

[L00d]

okay.. so i've known this girl for around 2 years now, and ever since i met her i always had a feeling me and her were gonna end up together. i met her in my 2nd semester in 10th grade and still talk to her every day up until now. a few months ago she had just broken up with her bf and she was asking me who to hook up with.. M or T (each letter standing for a person). i said.. how 'bout C (meaning me) and she goes "that wasn't a letter choice". i asked her if she knew what i meant about that and she said yes... now she just hooked up with someone a few days ago, and it feels like she's talking to me even more now because one of her really close guy friends who she's known for 4 years and trusts him even more than her own sister, decided to just stop talking to her and avoid her whenever she's around. then she messages me saying how she was thinking of me cuz she was feeling really sad and my cellphone was off and she really needed to talk to me... so i had to promise to her that i'll always keep it on from now on.

anyways... it just sucks how she's always gonna see me as her big brother, i wish she knew how deep my feelings for her were.. i care so much about her and she's made a really big impact on my life.. if only she knew how much she meant to me and changed her mind... =[

this ever happened to anyone else..? because it sure does suck and i don't know what to do besides just be there for her whenever she needs a shoulder to cry on

sigh.. if only she knew...

oh yeah, and here's something that i wrote on her site a while ago just so you people will understand how much she means to me..

____________________________________________

Hi ****** =] I know you feel down sometimes.. so i figure i'd write something that might cheer you up =] But anyways, i'm basically writing this to let you know how much i really value our friendship. You're the only person that has made me realize that i'm special in my own way and worth something. No one has ever really cared about me or thought of me the way you do. You have been the only one and I'm real grateful you came along and i met you. I always look forward to every time we get to talk, whether it's just a simple "Hi" in the hallways at school or a long and deep conversation on aim. I really appreciate everytime you message me knowing that you don't have to but you do because you know i wanna talk. You can brighten up my whole day just by smiling at me. You always believe in me and at times i feel like i owe you something but don't know what. You're just such a great person and i'm really glad i found you =) I'm also grateful that you're such an understanding person, and care enough about me to never get mad or angry at me for any reason. Thanks for everything, you'll be one of those few people that I'll never forget in my life. I want you to know that if you ever need anything i can't promise that i'll ALWAYS be there for you, but i'll definately try to. If I ever do or say something that upsets you in anyways.. just tell me.. i've always been honest with you, so you can do the same even if it's something negative, i'll try to see things on your side first. I'm sure you know you're a very important person to me, and many other people out there, and at times it feels like i've known you forever.. and i love how you can make me smile just by looking at me (haha i know everyone can make me smile but you're better at it than them lol). I just want you to know that you've made a persons life worth living and have changed my mind about a few things in a good way. I feel like i can tell you almost anything, and at times, i feel like i can tell you more than i can with my best friends whom i've known for more than 10 years, because i know i can trust you, and i know that you won't say anything or make a big deal of what i tell you. You're a very understanding person which really means alot. Thank you for everything you've done for me, you have no idea how much it really means to me, basically because i never really show it. You've changed my perspective on things in my life, and i just wanted to say thanks, and HAPPY VALENTINES DAY =D

Take Care,
C.S.

____________________________________________

any thoughts or comments..?

[L00d]

i'm not rushing love at all. to be honest, i've NEVER had a girlfriend in my life, and i'm a senior in highschool right now getting ready to graduate and never kissed a girl.. never done ANYTHING. i gave up so much for her thinking she'd be someone that i'd finally end up with after all this time but i guess i was wrong =\

i talked to her a while ago about it, she said the reason i'm still single is cuz i need to start talking to more girls, and stop being so shy around them, and told me that i should stop falling for my close friends.. but i can't help that, they're the ones i care about and i feel that if i just skipped that whole friendship thing then the relationship wouldn't turn out as well.

and then there's my english teacher for example, he's 21 right outta college, just broke up with his gf last month and has been going out with this girl that he's been best friends with for 2 years, and two weeks later after hooking up they're already engaged o_O

maybe one day something like that can happen for me.. cuz there hasn't even been a single spark in my life and it just sucks =\ sigh.. i guess when i finally find someone it'll be well worth all that wait...

[L00d]

also i guess it's cuz no girls really know the true me.. the caring and understanding side.. she's probably the only person that knows me that well, other people just see me as another shy white boy =\

[aj637]

the thing is your insisting so much from her to be your girlfriend that your seriously pushing her away. ( i dont know her story ) but from waht you tell me it seems like that. i mean it is great to tell all your feelings to her becasue you want too and she does deserve to know but obviously she only sees you as a friend right now and she is right you do need to find yourself other friends (girls) to socialize with. i mean it is very hard to trust people now a days but thats the only way you can fix your problem finding that person you want to spend the rest of your life with. i mean your sitting there dwelling upon not having her that you are missing out on other girls who will probably like you more than her (maybe start a relationship) i mean it all goes down to how you want to react to it. if you want to be patient and wait for her than go ahead but you are not doing any good to yourself just thinking all of the "what ifs" and the "maybes" i mean you have to see waht the rest of the world offers.

also i do know how you feel (partly) ive been single for 2 years now going to 3 years. and it sucks beucase i am waiting for that person to come and sweep me off my feet like prince charming but i am also living my life to the fullest and meeting guys going places wiht friends and so forth. i'm smart enough to know dwelling upon what you wish to have is a waste becasue you may never know what you are missing. also the only way you can feel love is if you put yourself out there. yes that means you need to stop being the shy white boy and get to know these girls more intimately (maybe some) but you get the idea right??

[L00d]

yeah, i only told her how i felt about her once. now i've pretty much given up on her and all the feelings i had for her are gone.. i just finally realized it was time to move on i guess

[d1nonlyqty]

well if you waited for her for two years.. i think waiting a litto more couldnt hurt.

[aud_chua]

*pats shoulder*
sigh.. i know how you feel.. even though i'm a girl, for some odd reason, i actually told my best friend (who is a guy) that i have feelings for him.. after that, he kinda just went away a bit.. that's what really sucks..
like.. the best relationship would be built on a foundation of friendship.. most people would want that.. but others just don't get it.. they want it to be like those romantic scenes where it's love at first sight or some other bull like that..
i guess your friend just doens't feel the same way or is afraid.. (i'm sorry if this interpretation is wrong.. i just took a quick glance at your posts.. )
but anyway.. don't worry!! there are other people out there!! and i'm sure there's someone who's more willing to go into a relationship with you..
cheer up and drink some sake to ease your mind.. (or some alternative) heheh...!
peace!

[EddieV]

welcome 2 my world

[tiffsezgrr]

sometimes relationships work out better if they are a close friend at first....sometimes not =T

[angel-roh]

yeah... me and justin... we are reallie one close friends...but we end up lovin each other^^;; hehe nd' look at us...we're going out!! haha we've known each other for the last 6 years!^^ nd' start goin out on february 11, 2004!!

[LoST SouL]

i think im startin 2 well at lest i like him...

[NvieDi3ai3yGrL]

i understand how you feel .. it's happened to me before too .. well you did give her a hint once and she knew that you liked her more than a friend .. it doesn't seem that she's giving the same signs .. i'm sorry there isn't much i can say to help here .. there is a chance that one day she might realize what's right in front of her and you'll have a chance of being together .. hopefully not too late .. well just try your best to be strong .. and hopefully things will turn out your way .. good luck!!