Hell in your eyes, Heaven in your kiss, Suicidal, love poem...er...don't ask.. |
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 Jul 9 2004, 01:11 PM
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#1
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 Crying Behind Blind Eyes  Group: Member Posts: 257 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,967  |
Another poem I wrote...love...depression...suicide?
Hell In Your Eyes, Heaven In Your Kiss By: Savannah (Me) Suicidal thoughts, They cloud my weary mind. Take the knife, And slice my wrists. Bleed me dry, And let me feel your lips. Hell in your eyes... Heaven in your kiss. I wish that just once, You could look at me and know me. Truly, deep down, know me, Just once see me for me. I want to leave, But if you scream my name, Just one last time... I will stay. Suicidal images, They plague my memory. My mind and heart, Corrupted by death and rancor. I feel pain in the things, That aren't even really there. Agony and doom, Lost deep in despair. Hell...it resonates, From your fiery glare. But I'm in heaven, With your mere kiss. Cast away my suicide, Cast away my tears. Save me from today, Don't throw me away. And I'm in bliss, And I am truly happy... Here in the hell that hides, Behind your cold, hard stare. |
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Jul 9 2004, 03:59 PM
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#2
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 Kermit the frog = <3 Group: Member Posts: 2,315 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 15,215 |
wow. I like it.
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Jul 9 2004, 04:41 PM
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#3
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 dizzy me up. Group: Member Posts: 3,191 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 11,139 |
its umm.. good nd depressinish.
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Jul 9 2004, 11:53 PM
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#4
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 LunchboxXx Group: Member Posts: 1,789 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,810 |
woah! welcome back! i havn't seen you in a while.
that's a pretty nice poem you got there. a tip, though, if you're willing to take it: i try not to use the same word twice in verces. like instead of "pain, death, and hate" i'd use, say, "agony, doom, and Rancor" don't be ashamed to use a thesarus. |
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Jul 9 2004, 11:58 PM
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#5
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 i`m tOo secksie fOr mai shirt Group: Member Posts: 129 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 28,650 |
awesome! i love this poem ^^ nice job
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Jul 10 2004, 12:05 AM
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#6
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Crying Behind Blind Eyes Group: Member Posts: 257 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,967 |
QUOTE(ryfitaDF @ Jul 9 2004, 11:53 PM) woah! welcome back! i havn't seen you in a while. that's a pretty nice poem you got there. a tip, though, if you're willing to take it: i try not to use the same word twice in verces. like instead of "pain, death, and hate" i'd use, say, "agony, doom, and Rancor" don't be ashamed to use a thesarus. Thanks for the welcoming back! lol, when I read back over it, I thought the same. But my computer has been fritzy and I didn't wanna jinx the fact it was actually working to open another window to go to a thesaurus. And then I just got lazy XD. But, I am however stealing the words you said <_<...*steals* Thank you kindly! ^-^!!! |
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Jul 10 2004, 07:44 PM
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#7
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I am Sandy. Hear me roar. Group: Member Posts: 1,152 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 15,896 |
wow.. thats really good..
 lol, keep up the good work 
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Jul 11 2004, 12:41 AM
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#8
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 286 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,508 |
such a good, angsty poem. i like!
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Jul 12 2004, 02:01 PM
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#9
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 !shobe! Group: Member Posts: 664 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 5,912 |
wow............
really great poem!!! *applaudes* *gets on knees and praises author* lolz..! |
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