Why Pickles are Bad! Options

[sixfive]

Look at the Pickle that the pickle people have put you in!

Pickles will kill you. Every pickle you eat brings you nearer to death. Amazingly, the thinking man has failed to grasp the significance of the term "in a pickle". Although leading horticulturists have long said that Cucamis Sativus possesses Indehiscent Pepto, the pickle industry continues to expand.

Pickles are associated with all the major diseases of the body. Eating them breeds wars and Communism. They can be related to most airline tragedies. Auto accidents are caused by pickles. There exists a positive relationship between crime waves and consumption of this fruit of the curcubit family. For example:

Nearly all sick people have eaten pickles; therefore, the effects are obviously cumulative.
Of all the people who die from cancer, 99% have eaten pickles.
100% of all soldiers have eaten pickles; therefore, pickles must be related to wars.
98.8% of all Communist sympathizers have eaten pickles.
99.7% of all the people involved in the air and auto accidents ate pickles within 14 days preceding the tragedy.
93.1% of all juvenile delinquents come from homes where pickles are served frequently.
Evidence points to some startling long term effects of pickle eating:

Of all the people born in 1865 who later dined on pickles, there has been a 100% mortality rate.

All pickle eaters born between 1890 and 1900 have wrinkled skin, brittle bones, have lost most of their teeth and are afflicted by failing eyesight... if the ills that come from eating pickles have not already resulted in their death.

Even more convincing is the report from a noted team of medical specialists. They found that rats which were force-fed with 20 pounds of pickles per day developed bulging abdomens. It was further noted that the rat's appetites for wholesome food was completely destroyed.

[tokyo-rose]

Good thing I don't like pickles.

[sixfive]

I.

LOVE.

Pickles.

[tokyo-rose]

I.

LOVE.

Pickles.

Actually, I lied: I like dill pickles, but I just rarely eat them.

[gojira]

does that mean just cucumbers because i love a lot of pickled shit

[libertie]

Hard to argue with scientific evidence.

[superstitious]

Pickles are loaded with sodium. :(

[tokyo-rose]

Pickles are loaded with sodium. :(

Just yesterday I edited a friend's essay about how Americans' sodium intake is too high. I don't like extremely salty foods, partly because the Cantonese cuisine I'm used to eating at home is more sweet than salty, spicy, or bitter. East Asian diets are healthy in general, because we eat a lot of rice, fish, lean meat, and vegetables, and not much dairy or beef. I'm sure you all know that greasy Chinese takeout is Americanized crap that Chinese people don't actually eat at home.

[superstitious]

I didn't pay much attention to sodium until I started having near stroke level blood pressure readings. That really forced me to pay closer attention to sodium content. I was shocked at first. I had to completely restock the pantry, the fridge and the freezer. No more convenience foods, for sure. I love soup (and pickles) but one of the most difficult things to give up was jalapenos in a jar. I used to snack on them.

[tokyo-rose]

I didn't pay much attention to sodium until I started having near stroke level blood pressure readings. That really forced me to pay closer attention to sodium content. I was shocked at first. I had to completely restock the pantry, the fridge and the freezer. No more convenience foods, for sure. I love soup (and pickles) but one of the most difficult things to give up was jalapenos in a jar. I used to snack on them.

A lot of foods that don't taste salty at all contain a surprisingly high amount of sodium. :\ Do you read nutrition labels now? I sometimes do, especially if I'm buying a product I haven't purchased often before, or am deciding between different brands for the same product.

[superstitious]

I religiously read labels. I'm on a fairly strict dietary and exercise regimen now, so analyzing labels has become a near obsession at this point. I bought a steamer and it's been a total god-send, especially if you add a little sesame oil.

I've been watching sodium for months now, so I've become really good at it. I frequent Trader Joes (not sure if you have one near you). A lot of their stuff is safe, since much of it is fresh and without preservatives.

[tokyo-rose]

I religiously read labels. I'm on a fairly strict dietary and exercise regimen now, so analyzing labels has become a near obsession at this point. I bought a steamer and it's been a total god-send, especially if you add a little sesame oil.

I've been watching sodium for months now, so I've become really good at it. I frequent Trader Joes (not sure if you have one near you). A lot of their stuff is safe, since much of it is fresh and without preservatives.

What kind of exercise? I plan to go jogging this summer, and I think one of my friends wants me to do HIIT (high-intensity interval training) with him...dunno if I can do the latter, haha. I love olive and sesame oil! I usually eat ravioli with just olive oil and garlic powder.

I've never been there since I don't think there's one near my house, but my mom makes healthy dishes with groceries from local Chinese supermarkets, so I still eat well.

[Just_Dream]

I effin' LOVE Trader Joe's!!!

Im trying to curb my sodium intake, but it's difficult ;[

Man, I hate pickles (pickled cucumbers). I love fresh cucumbers though ;3

actually, a lot of Asians eat WHITE rice, which isn't all that good for you. Brown rice, on the other hand, is better. :] We also eat a lot of sweet potatoes (healthier for you than regular potatoes!)

[tokyo-rose]

actually, a lot of Asians eat WHITE rice, which isn't all that good for you. Brown rice, on the other hand, is better. :] We also eat a lot of sweet potatoes (healthier for you than regular potatoes!)

Yeah, but it still tastes good. I love brown rice too, but my brother doesn't, so we usually eat white.

And taro! Love taro and taro-flavored things. I'm going to drink a crazy amount of taro bubble tea this summer.

[Tomates]

I love pickles~

[sixfive]

Actually the pickles I bought today aren't high in sodium at all lol

[karmakiller]

My aunt always makes them, and they taste way better than the store variety. It's weird how something so simple can vary so much depending on the brand. I haven't had pickles in forever....

[Tomates]

Actually the pickles I bought today aren't high in sodium at all lol

What kind?

[kryogenix]

[sixfive]

hahaha i thought this article was funny