Got stopped by the coppers tonight, No, this is not one of my (all true, btw) stories Options

[Reidar]

Well, this morning. At about 3:15 AM.

"Excuse me...would you mind showing some identification?"
"Sure."
"Hmm...so what kind of vehicle are you driving tonight?"
"No vehicle. I'm walking."
"Oh...well, the reason I asked is because a guy wanted for a felony around here jumped in a white van and took off from us."
"Wow. What a wuss."
"Uh...well, he was wearing dark clothing and you..." He trails off and indicates at my dark blue UCLA hoodie and black jogging pants.
Struggling to hide my beam of pride at the compliment of being mistaken for a wanted felon, I ask, "Oh, when did this happen?"
His partner behind him: "Like...three minutes ago."
First cop: "Well, sorry to bother you. Keep an eye out for anything suspicious, will ya?"
"Affirmative. Once we locate the criminal scum they will be destroyed." I hold a clenched fist up.
"Uh...haha, just call the police, please."
"Right."

As I walk off I can't help but be infuriated at this needless middle-man bullshit. Goddamn bureaucracy...why can't I just kill on sight? Images of a frustrated Callahan from Dirty Harry swirl in my head and I decide right then and there that I can't afford to wait around for the higher-ups if I find myself in the heat of action. Hostages could be killed while our forces are sitting on our asses waiting for the most meager of permissions to get the OK on things. F*ck that.

On the way home I run across a skunk. I get in a battle stance and it just lazily waddles off. Even the animals in this town are pussies.

/rant