Ditching your friends when your in a relationship Options

[Tung]

So are you one of those people, who stop hanging out with your friends, when you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? And all you ever do is spend time with your significant other, and have no time for your friends? But whenever you're single again, you come crawling back to your friends and hang out with them? If not, do you have any friends who are like that? I do. And it's really annoying. It's really shady how these friends when they are in a relationship just stop talking to you and never have time to hang out with you. But when they break up, they come to you for comfort and want to hang out again. I hate that shit. What are your thoughts?

[creole]

Yeah, I have a friend just like this.


Here's a short story:
He wasn't popular. Nobody knew about him. My friend introduced me to him. He needed a girlfriend so bad (desperate much?), so I hooked him up with one of my friends. Then, people started realizing him and he started being popular. Then this guy starts acting like a dick to me and he acts like he knows me better than I do. Then all my friends talk to him more than me.


I really hate that..

[-DressYourEyelid...]

yea. i lost contact with pretty much everyone i knew before i started dating seriously. but, as shallow as it sounds, they were all shitty friends so it wasn't a big loss.
once i got into a serious relationship and pulled my life together their jealousy showed through... one of my so-called friends even attempted to seduce my fiance in the hospital while i was in a coma. (sounds like a soap opera, huh?)

most of the friends i have now are mutual friends between phil and i (and we're all wonderfully close, so it's all good).

[sixfive]

to be honest it's expected for couples to spend a lot more exclusive time with eachother than with the friends they had pre relationship. that doesn't mean they should never talk to them again, but you should also realize that and as a friend let them have their time with their significant other. i've done it in the past without realizing it and it wasn't because i didn't like the others or wanted to ditch them as friends, its because i had my full attention taken up by another person. but all my good friends from back then are still friends.

[brooklyneast05]

my girlfriend now was my best friend before i got with her, and i would always ditch her when i was with someone and she'd get pissed and junk. luckily now that we're together she doesn't have to throw a fit anymore about me ditching her to be with someone else.

[queen]

to be honest it's expected for couples to spend a lot more exclusive time with eachother than with the friends they had pre relationship. that doesn't mean they should never talk to them again, but you should also realize that and as a friend let them have their time with their significant other. i've done it in the past without realizing it and it wasn't because i didn't like the others or wanted to ditch them as friends, its because i had my full attention taken up by another person. but all my good friends from back then are still friends.

i concur.

but to add on: good friends will just be there whether or not you need them, whether or not they need you, and they will definitely understand the different relationship situations in which you're placed. acquaintances imo, are those who only come and go when it benefits them.

[Tramatize]

My friend always invites me to his girls house, but there always f*cking while i just sit there watching TV so i try not to hang out with them that much

[karmakiller]

^ Third wheel, eh?

to be honest it's expected for couples to spend a lot more exclusive time with eachother than with the friends they had pre relationship. that doesn't mean they should never talk to them again, but you should also realize that and as a friend let them have their time with their significant other. i've done it in the past without realizing it and it wasn't because i didn't like the others or wanted to ditch them as friends, its because i had my full attention taken up by another person. but all my good friends from back then are still friends.

I completely agree with this. This usually happens to me and my friends when the relationship is new... the friends I have who have been in a relationship for 2-3 years usually aren't with their s/o as much as those who have only been together a few months.

One of my friends was really infatuated with a guy and wanted to be with him every second of the day, I just had to tell her that no one else ever got to hang out with her. Oddly enough, they broke up

[kryogenix]

throw some d's on that bitch

[Simba]

good friends should understand, it's when they need your help and you ignore them that it's too much




I never thought I'd, hear myself say, ooh, ya'll gon' head
I think I'm gonna kick it wit my girl today, kick it wit my girl today
I used to be commander and chief
Of my pimp ship flyin' high, flyin' high
Til I met this pretty little missile that shot me out the sky

[FizzyMilk]

I have a feeling I did that quite a bit.
In some ways I'm mature and in other ways I need to grow maturity-wise. I think my Fiancee being gone has actually helped with maturing. I've been in a relationship with him since I was 14 (now i'm 17) and I depended on him too much. I needed him around all the time and I know I lost a lot of friends because of that. So I guess it was a good when he just said "hey honey, I'm joining the marines!" and he left 6 days later. That was in January. I've seen him a total of 14 days since then.


this reminds me of two people I know.
lets see, trying to sum this so you don't have to read a long ass paragraph.
-they dated three days--came over--thought it would be okay to f*ck on my couch (it pulls out) and there was another person sleeping on it and there were 5 or so people in the room sleeping on the floor.
-they fooled around in the back of my suv on the way back to busch gardens.
-they complained to anyone that would listen when the other one wasn't at school that day. they even complained to me, and this was about a month after my fiancee left for boot camp.
-They lost almost all of their friends because they insisted on dry humping in public and they ended up ignoring everyone else because they "LOVE" each other and think that "love" is spending every second with one another.

I'm glad I graduated high school and moved to the county over because I don't think I could look at them again without punching one of them for being so naive, shallow, and tacky.
they make me sick.