Reidar, glorious philanthropist. |
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 Aug 16 2009, 12:53 AM
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#1
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 Vae Victis  Group: Official Member Posts: 1,416 Joined: Sep 2006 Member No: 460,227  |
I caught this moron bird in my garage. It's either a juvenile sparrow or a pussy adult who can't fly. It doesn't appear to be injured.
Then the ***hole decided to get cozy and sleep on my hand. At this point I was fighting an insatiable urge to pop it in my mouth for a fresh source of protein, but I already have a meaty dinner lined up so the sucker gets off easy tonight. Instead, I decided to take advantage of the moment for propaganda purposes and to give the illusion of being a caring animal-rights advocate by building a makeshift shelter for it, where it quickly fell back asleep. It doesn't respond to English, so my best surmise at the moment is that it's a Soviet spy. I'll keep tabs on it closely. Any suggestions on how the Geneva Convention deductions on torture apply to captured birds? I think I could glean some information out of it by making it listen to Noam Chomsky lectures for an hour. |
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Aug 16 2009, 01:23 AM
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#2
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 (′ ･ω･｀) Group: Official Designer Posts: 6,179 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 72,477 |
aww how adorable, you kept a bird in a shoe box. that's cute
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Aug 16 2009, 01:25 AM
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#3
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 Sex, Blood, & RocknRoll Group: People Staff Posts: 5,305 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 596,480 |
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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Aug 16 2009, 01:32 AM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Official Designer Posts: 5,880 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 593,382 |
Awwww, reidar. Youve gone soft. What a sweet thing to do, you big teddy bear!
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Aug 16 2009, 01:35 AM
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#5
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Vae Victis Group: Official Member Posts: 1,416 Joined: Sep 2006 Member No: 460,227 |
Gross, cut it out. Also, that white stuff in the third picture is bread debris from trying to feed it. He did, however, poop on me. Luckily for him, I don't believe in an eye for an eye or else I'd have to return the favor.
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Aug 16 2009, 01:40 AM
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#6
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 Senior Member Group: Administrator Posts: 8,629 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 498,468 |
Haha I love how it's just sitting there in the box. SO CUTE.
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Aug 16 2009, 01:42 AM
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#7
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 /人◕‿‿◕人\ Group: Official Member Posts: 8,283 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 602,927 |
<3internet
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Aug 16 2009, 02:00 AM
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#8
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Vae Victis Group: Official Member Posts: 1,416 Joined: Sep 2006 Member No: 460,227 |
QUOTE(manny-the-dino @ Aug 16 2009, 01:40 AM)  Haha I love how it's just sitting there in the box. SO CUTE. Yeah, at first it wouldn't stay still in the thing but it'd be perfectly calm on my fingers, so it dawned on me that it needed a perch for its feet to conform to. So a branch did the trick. Anyways, rest assured that I'm doing everything possible to make certain that the little fella is where he belongs by tomorrow: http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/3234/434q.jpg |
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Aug 16 2009, 02:32 AM
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#9
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Sex, Blood, & RocknRoll Group: People Staff Posts: 5,305 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 596,480 |
wtf man. Train it to kill.
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Aug 16 2009, 02:43 AM
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#10
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 Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 2,936 Joined: Sep 2008 Member No: 683,235 |
i want one D:
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Aug 16 2009, 02:47 AM
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#11
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Vae Victis Group: Official Member Posts: 1,416 Joined: Sep 2006 Member No: 460,227 |
I've settled on a name for it after much contemplation. It will be named Bird.
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Aug 16 2009, 02:49 AM
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#12
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Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 2,936 Joined: Sep 2008 Member No: 683,235 |
don't eat it
 mail him to me~ |
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Aug 16 2009, 02:50 AM
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#13
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/人◕‿‿◕人\ Group: Official Member Posts: 8,283 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 602,927 |
That reminds me of my old dog. His name was Dog.
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Aug 16 2009, 02:51 AM
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#14
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Vae Victis Group: Official Member Posts: 1,416 Joined: Sep 2006 Member No: 460,227 |
How unoriginal and inane.
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Aug 16 2009, 02:53 AM
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#15
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/人◕‿‿◕人\ Group: Official Member Posts: 8,283 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 602,927 |
Yeah, I've never been too good at thinking up names.
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Aug 16 2009, 03:11 AM
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#16
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 Photoartist Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 12,363 Joined: Apr 2006 Member No: 399,390 |
QUOTE(IWontRapeYou @ Aug 16 2009, 02:25 AM) awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww |
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Aug 16 2009, 04:52 PM
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#17
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 DDR \\ I'm Dee :) Group: Mentor Posts: 8,662 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 384,020 |
I agree with Abbey. Train it to do useful stuff, like peck people's eyes out.
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Aug 16 2009, 06:13 PM
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#18
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Vae Victis Group: Official Member Posts: 1,416 Joined: Sep 2006 Member No: 460,227 |
He's finally with his own kind. I went down into the garage earlier this afternoon and Bird was chirping up a storm from inside the box. A couple of birds outside were doing the same. I told Bird not to listen to them and that they're just jealous that he's come under my wing now and that I make bird puns like that to him and only him. Bird's training was supposed to begin today so I thought we'd start by playing fetch. I took a stick, showed him it, and threw it pretty far outside. Then, I let Bird half-fly (he can flutter for a little before going down to the ground) over to it. He kept going. And going. And he went way past the stick. And going. And then this bigger bird suddenly ran up to him, chirped, and made it follow him. Now he's gone.
What a dumb bird. |
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Aug 16 2009, 06:38 PM
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#19
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 820 Joined: Jun 2009 Member No: 733,315 |
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Aug 16 2009, 07:15 PM
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#20
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 Fellatio. Group: Official Member Posts: 2,122 Joined: Mar 2007 Member No: 511,775 |
It's proabably dead.
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Aug 16 2009, 07:23 PM
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#21
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 Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 1,529 Joined: May 2007 Member No: 523,843 |
So this heart you have, is it your own did you find it on the ground?
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Aug 16 2009, 07:31 PM
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#22
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Photoartist Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 12,363 Joined: Apr 2006 Member No: 399,390 |
more like he ripped it out of somebody's body
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Aug 16 2009, 10:59 PM
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#23
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 show me a garden thats bursting to life Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 12,303 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 115,987 |
OMG, I never thought you'd care about such a small, pathetic weakling. Isn't that totally against your philosophy of how the weak ones should just die, thus allowing for the strong to thrive?
On the other hand.. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. |
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Aug 16 2009, 11:12 PM
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#24
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Senior Member Group: Official Designer Posts: 5,880 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 593,382 |
QUOTE(technicolour @ Aug 16 2009, 10:59 PM) OMG, I never thought you'd care about such a small, pathetic weakling. Isn't that totally against your philosophy of how the weak ones should just die, thus allowing for the strong to thrive? I have always had the same philosophy. But I found a little odd considering hitler had the same philosophy. And Im a jew. |
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Aug 16 2009, 11:59 PM
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#25
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DDR \\ I'm Dee :) Group: Mentor Posts: 8,662 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 384,020 |
QUOTE(jcp @ Aug 16 2009, 11:12 PM) I have always had the same philosophy. But I found a little odd considering hitler had the same philosophy. And Im a jew.  |
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