Dr. :santa: Options

[none345678]

I'm falling in love with a sheep. Should I go all southern comfort in this bitch or fight my bestiality urges?

[brooklyneast05]

I'm falling in love with a sheep. Should I go all southern comfort in this bitch or fight my bestiality urges?

if it's a bah bah black sheep then go for it otherwise don't bother

[karmakiller]

Serious question. If ex shows me nudes, do I -

a. Be mature about it
b. Spam

Looking at them might make you feel guilty, so you should probably share your guilt with someone, like me. It will be easier to deal with that way and also easier for you to fight your spamming urges.

[brooklyneast05]

^yeah i approve of the advice from the karmakiller

karma does exist.

[none345678]

if it's a bah bah black sheep then go for it otherwise don't bother

Thanks Jce, I'll keep your advice in mind.

[hypnotique]

Serious question. If ex shows me nudes, do I -

a. Be mature about it
b. Spam

Dont even accept them..
wtf thats like handing a secret weapon to the enemy country

[libertie]

>.<

How do I stop waiting for his calls? I feel pathetic.

[brooklyneast05]

>.<

How do I stop waiting for his calls? I feel pathetic.

well what's the situation? he's just not calling you enough i think i need more info to understand why you're waiting, whether you're talking about your boyfriend or just a guy you like, ect ect.

[libertie]

LOL. It's definitely my boyfriend, and I'm just feeling insecure in general. We've been dating for over six months and I'm still not really that sure he wants to be in this relationship or if he's just sticking around for my sake. Every once in a while he'll say something that just completely blows me away, but I can't stop feeling like he's not all that enthusiastic about this.. There are some things that happened with him this summer that I don't want to say too much about, but basically he almost broke up with me. It's tough to come back from something like that, most girls wouldn't stick around after what he said. I did, because I really felt like the problems he had were things I could do something about. But even though he acts like he's happy when we're together, it's hard to shake the feeling that for a while he WAS thinking that he'd be happier if he wasn't with me.

But all that aside, I'm working on getting past those particular insecurities. He tells me that if he didn't want to be with me he would say so. I believe him, it's just that we spent so much time together before without me having any idea that something was wrong, and THEN he told me that there was a problem. It's hard to say I want to come up one weekend and have him tell me that he would rather spend time alone, but I'm trying to be able to hear that without getting hurt because I DO understand the need to be alone sometimes.

Basically, I think I'm suffocating him and I want to be able to give him some air without going crazy MYSELF. Sitting around and constantly checking my phone waiting for him to call all the time is making me crazy, and it's certainly not helping.. I want to be unavailable to him sometimes, too, so I can stop feeling like I'm always the one who's missing him.

[Simba]

idk just don't 4chan /b/ it up k unless you want her to be everybody else's ex too

[batman]

dr. , where is the line between "somewhat indiscreet" and "kinda slutty."

[brooklyneast05]

@ dani

But even though he acts like he's happy when we're together, it's hard to shake the feeling that for a while he WAS thinking that he'd be happier if he wasn't with me.

well there's no way to be 100% certain in cases like this i don't think. but for your own sanity, in my opinion, it's better to think the best than think the worst unless he's giving you a huge reason to believe that he isn't happy NOW. you can't spend that much time worrying about what happened before or it's going to kill stuff now. he says he would would tell you if he didn't want to be with you, so you have to believe that. you can't spend your time trying to predict problems and break ups. it will drive you crazy and it will completely drive him away. from a guy's perspective, it's extremely annoying to be with a girl and like her, and have her constantly telling you that you don't want to be with her, or that you don't seem to want to be with her. the word "seem" can be a bad things with dudes, so be careful of telling a guy what he does or doesn't "seem" like because a lot of us regard "seeming" as just some imaginary bullshit.

I believe him, it's just that we spent so much time together before without me having any idea that something was wrong, and THEN he told me that there was a problem.

yeah i know what you mean. you can't be blamed 100% for having that worry, but like i said you just have to trust it won't happen this time or else you'll find yourself looking for little "signs" of problems or disinterest constantly. anyone can do this, but women are notoriously bad about trying to pick up on signs, feelings, or thinking they have some sort of 6th sense for this kind of thing. they're wrong a good percentage of the time. and them asserting that we have a problem when we don't actually have one will piss us off and ultimately create a real problem to be worried about. also, i don't think this is with every situation, but a lot of times the second time around is easier for someone to express they have a problem. meaning that he might have held out on you the first time when he had problems, but once something has gone down like this in a relationship, i don't think people spend as much time trying to cover it up the second time.

Basically, I think I'm suffocating him and I want to be able to give him some air without going crazy MYSELF. Sitting around and constantly checking my phone waiting for him to call all the time is making me crazy, and it's certainly not helping.. I want to be unavailable to him sometimes, too, so I can stop feeling like I'm always the one who's missing him.

yeah you need to keep yourself busy and learn how to deal with that anxious waiting feeling. it's an annoying feeling. you have to train yourself to not let it get to you. that kind of shit will ruin a relationship for the reason you said, suffocating. suffocating drives guys off and makes us uninterested. when we wanna be alone we wanna be alone, and we don't want to have to feel guilty about it. even if i'm off doing something else, i can't feel completely "free" if i know someone is sitting around expecting something from me. if he knows you're busy doing something else and not waiting around on him, he's probably more likely to be able to freely enjoy his time away without that guilt. i don't know how much you are wanting him to call you, so i couldn't say if i think it's too much. communication is good, but too much is overkill and a lot of times leaves people with nothing to talk about when they do get to hang out.

[brooklyneast05]

dr. , where is the line between "somewhat indiscreet" and "kinda slutty."

are we still talking about your professor?


and i don't know if very many guys draw a line between the two.

[Simba]

my broYe, may be contacting you in the near future

[libertie]

Thankfully, I don't place these huge demands on him or anything, lol. As far as me waiting for him to call, he pretty much calls at certain times every day (he works and most of the time he'll call me really quick on his lunch break, then when he gets off work and such).. The problem is I'll spend my entire day feeling anxious up to that point, waiting for that phone call. I feel like a parasite or something.

When he asks for space, I'm not gonna lie, I am initially kind of stung by it. But I'm not lying when I say I AM okay with giving him the space he needs, so I try not to let him SEE that I'm a little upset at first. The reaction I've been giving lately is to smile (as genuinely as possible) and just say it's not a big deal, because even if I'm acting spoiled about it, deep down I KNOW it's not a big deal so I'm not lying to him. I've learned that if I even let my emotions show a little bit, though, it ruins the whole thing and puts him in a bad mood. Not that I'm being fake or dishonest, I'm just trying to suppress the "spoiled girl not getting what she wants" reaction because that's not an accurate picture of how I REALLY feel. It's just how I react initially to being told I can't have something, before I give myself time to think about it. :P

..yeah.. Even as a girl growing up without a whole lot, most of us still have spoiled tendencies.

[brooklyneast05]

if it's not a big deal and you know it's not a big deal, why do you have that reaction of wanting to act spoiled about it at all?

and yeah i definitely agree you should get away from that waiting all day for the phone call business. i think you're way too attached to him if your day revolves around his phone call you need to work past that for your own sake though.

I've learned that if I even let my emotions show a little bit, though, it ruins the whole thing and puts him in a bad mood.

see i think this is wrong of him. i think it's wrong of anyone to be like this towards their bf/gf. i don't like the idea of having to walk on eggshells for fear the other person is gonna be launched into a bad mood. i know first hand what it's like (to be the one watching my step and to be the one who gets sent into a bad mood over almost nothing) and i don't like it. i think it puts an awkward strain on things constantly.

my broYe, may be contacting you in the near future

i got your back broye

[batman]

mi profesor me dio una "A" :D

[Teesa]

^congrats, now go and get some of that extra credit ;)

[Simba]

mi profesor me dio una "A" :D

[DoubleJ]

I am wondering if I am getting sprung off of different girls because I have never had a g.f. before. I am now getting sprung off of a shorty at my job and we are both flirting hard but their are two red flags: 1 she has a son 2. her bf lives like 15 blocks away from me. What do I do, because we share the same interests and everything: sex, fashion, food, fashion...sex.

[brooklyneast05]

I am wondering if I am getting sprung off of different girls because I have never had a g.f. before. I am now getting sprung off of a shorty at my job and we are both flirting hard but their are two red flags: 1 she has a son 2. her bf lives like 15 blocks away from me. What do I do, because we share the same interests and everything: sex, fashion, food, fashion...sex.

this is a different girl than the one like a week ago right? lol


anyway i don't know if that's the reason you're getting sprung. i don't think getting sprung on a girl who has a boyfriend is a good idea in the first place. are you really going to go after someone who isn't single and ha a kid

[hypnotique]

Lets see your skills.

Man needs to break it off because he needs to focus on school. Man says he loves me and he intends on not making the break up permanent. Man isnt looking for a relationship with anyone and tells me daily hes still crazy about me and all that shit. How ever man feels he cannot tell me things that are flirtatious or about how attractive he finds me because at this time we are just "friends" So with that said I decided to take an offer to go on a date with a classmate of mine, I still have feelings for man but I don't like how he will only pay attention to me if he feels theres a possibility theres another man or woman trying to hit on me or get with me and then has all these expectations that I shouldn't expect him to treat me the same as he did when i was his girlfriend and he keeps throwing the "friends" card on me anytime i decide to express my feelings...Yet somehow when hes threatened he'll pour all the love on me and do the whole "i miss you" bullshit.

So with that said, Is it wrong to date other people? even though man says he loves me and this break up isnt permanent but it looks like we are going to be separated well into a full year or something (I dont have a interest in going as far as to have sex with other people) but I just want little dates here and there.

[DoubleJ]

Idk what's wrong with me jc. I am just lost.

Diana it is fine to date other people. I he has a problem with you dating remember to let him know that this is what he wanted.

[brooklyneast05]

Lets see your skills.

Man needs to break it off because he needs to focus on school. Man says he loves me and he intends on not making the break up permanent. Man isnt looking for a relationship with anyone and tells me daily hes still crazy about me and all that shit. How ever man feels he cannot tell me things that are flirtatious or about how attractive he finds me because at this time we are just "friends" So with that said I decided to take an offer to go on a date with a classmate of mine, I still have feelings for man but I don't like how he will only pay attention to me if he feels theres a possibility theres another man or woman trying to hit on me or get with me and then has all these expectations that I shouldn't expect him to treat me the same as he did when i was his girlfriend and he keeps throwing the "friends" card on me anytime i decide to express my feelings...Yet somehow when hes threatened he'll pour all the love on me and do the whole "i miss you" bullshit.

So with that said, Is it wrong to date other people? even though man says he loves me and this break up isnt permanent but it looks like we are going to be separated well into a full year or something (I dont have a interest in going as far as to have sex with other people) but I just want little dates here and there.

dr. says yes you should date. he shouldn't have any claim over you whatsoever. if you by choice want to not go very far or get involved with other people then that's ok as long as it's for your sake and not his. but his opinion on that matter is irrelevant. he can't play the jealousy junk because he lost his right to do that when he broke it off. if he wanted to lay any kind of claim on you that badly then they should have stayed with you.

i don't believe in the focus on school stuff. i guess maybe that's a legit reason for some people, i don't know. my girlfriend has never made it impossible for me to "focus on school" or vise versa. that's just my situation though, you guys are probably way different from my relationship. i still feel like people could make it work if they wanted to that badly you know?

anyway you should have no obligations or be required to do or not do something over him anymore. if you're friends then you're friends both ways. he can't have his cake and eat it too.


p.s. i don't even get what the point is in pretending you're just friends and trying to treat you like one. that seems stupid/a waste of time if he intends to get back with you anyway.

[brooklyneast05]

Idk what's wrong with me jc. I am just lost.

what do you mean lost homie