Iran sucks Options

[Reidar]

Khamenei (Iranian supreme leader) is giving a speech right now. Damn. Bla bla bla Muslims God pray piety bla bla. He also mentions how people have embraced materialism in lieu of spirituality and that Iranians need to return to God. Yes, we should all love velayat 'e faqui, a religious tenet that states the people to be considered property of the mullahs on Allah's authority (when my father was in the Imperial Iranian Air Force, he was nearly executed under this before defecting to America). Shame on all of the attendees who raise their fists in approval to this speech.

Do not be brainwashed by the frumpy old man speaking "ALALALALALA" language on your television sets, American comrades. It is time for revolution. I'm the proposer of this coup, so direct all of your arms supplies and weapon contributions to me. I'll uh...pass them along, sure.

Also, please donate about 100 of these for our mission. We understand them to be cheap and exportable.