taking things/someone for granted -_- Options

[batman]

About a week ago, one of my best friends from high school came to NYC/NJ to visit me and stayed for 8 days. The first few days were really fun, but near the end, it was like everything she said or did just kept pissing me off. It finally hit me just how much we drifted apart. I felt that she overstayed her welcome by about half a week, but I tried to keep being nice, but it was really, really hard to do, especially near the end.

Then, we had this discussion and she mentioned that she felt like I was "taking her for granted" since apparently I was being sort of distant (like excuse me if I don't need you following me to the bathroom, to get something from the bedroom, to the kitchen, to the wherever I f*cking go).

At the time, I was just like "uh, can't really take something I'm so actively disliking right now for granted since your CONSTANT PRESENCE and NEEDINESS is getting on my f*cking nerves and I NEED MY SPACE GADDAMMIT," but as I thought more about the thought of taking someone for granted, I came to the decision that for someone to say that is just really f*cking arrogant and self-centered.

You might be god's gift in your own eyes, but why would you push your importance and need to be appreciated on your friends? Do I really have to tell you that I love you and am OH SO GLAD THAT YOU ARE HERE every single hour of the day? Do I have to ACTIVELY APPRECIATE you and remind myself constantly that I should be SO HAPPY that you're in my life? What the hell do you want from me?

People "take things for granted" all the time. It's human nature. If we didn't take things for granted, we'd be too busy being thankful for the things around us to ever get anything done. Yeah, I do think every so often, you should be appreciative of the people around you and be happy for the things you have, but to be upset when someone isn't constantly worshiping the ground you're walking on is just ridiculous.

/rant

Had to get that off my chest.

Does anybody else feel the same way or differently or whatever?

[Blyat]

I know how you feel
Like my best friend, I do a lot for him.
Give him rides home from school, I gave him a notebook for school, Pet-sit his pets WITHOUT pay, if he gets into trouble I back him up. etc etc.
A lot of the time i dont get a "thank you" from him. Like sometimes I wish he would say something like "i apprechiate the things you have dont for me for the past years"
I think he just gets embarassed saying stuff like that.

I let it go since i cant let my impatience get to me. But that feeling you get just gets you down.

[kryogenix]

There's a difference between merely taking someone for granted, and just being flat out ungrateful and unappreciative. The latter is no good, but the former just happens so often that, for lack of a better phrase, we take it for granted.

[batman]

^ yeah, I definitely get that and I guess on some level, I wasn't very appreciative of her. But the thing is, I didn't want her to be there. I told her to stay for a few days i.e. 3-4 days, but she invited herself over for double that amount of time (aka buying her plane tickets and then telling me it was too late to change it) and during the last half of her visit, I had summer classes and other shit I had to do while she was like this puppy or annoying brat child demanding every second of my time.

I appreciate the people around me, I really do, but I felt like in that situation, she should have realized it was unrealistic for me to take a train up to NYC every single day after class, realized that I spent over $100 in gas just to drive her around, and realize that although I'm glad to see her, I can't dedicate every second of my life to her just because she's around.

Plus, this is something she always does. When her boyfriend doesn't make her feel like the special princess she is, she comes to me with the whole "WAH HE IS TAKING ME FOR GRANTED." -_-

[DoubleJ]

I cannot stand clingy people. I used to be one of those people and then I just grew out of it ironically after beerpong fest lol.

[ley]

You might be god's gift in your own eyes

I have a friend like this. Its like shes the one who constantly wants to do stuff for me. Most of the time i just feel like shes in my way and i am not going to be thanking her for that anytime soon.

[kryogenix]

^ yeah, I definitely get that and I guess on some level, I wasn't very appreciative of her. But the thing is, I didn't want her to be there. I told her to stay for a few days i.e. 3-4 days, but she invited herself over for double that amount of time (aka buying her plane tickets and then telling me it was too late to change it) and during the last half of her visit, I had summer classes and other shit I had to do while she was like this puppy or annoying brat child demanding every second of my time.

I appreciate the people around me, I really do, but I felt like in that situation, she should have realized it was unrealistic for me to take a train up to NYC every single day after class, realized that I spent over $100 in gas just to drive her around, and realize that although I'm glad to see her, I can't dedicate every second of my life to her just because she's around.

Plus, this is something she always does. When her boyfriend doesn't make her feel like the special princess she is, she comes to me with the whole "WAH HE IS TAKING ME FOR GRANTED." -_-

Oh, I didn't mean you were unappreciative. If anything, she was unappreciative of you by being a bitch when you let her crash at your place. She shouldn't expect you to wait on her every need.

I was just agreeing with you that taking things for granted is not necessarily bad. Everyone takes things for granted. The air we breath, the sun rising ever morning, gravity tethering us to earth... If anything, I feel a friendship where no explicit mention of appreciation has to be shown, where there is a mutual understanding between the two parties, I feel that's a pretty good friendship. If constant reminders are needed to show that you care, one or both people are pretty damn insecure about their relationship.

Not sure if that made sense or not.

[batman]

^ ah, ok i getcha.

+ agree with the mutual understanding between friends bit.

[sixfive]

I know how you feel
Like my best friend, I do him a lot for him.
Give him rides home from school, I gave him a notebook for school

ATTA BOY SHANAYNAY WAY TO HIT THAT SHIT

[gojira]

it's pretty hard to look from her point of view until you're stuck in the same situation she was in. i was pretty upset when i paid $300+ more for plane ticket, saved up $200 bucks for food & etc to only find out all i would be doing is sitting around. though unlike your friend, i wasn't really trying to get closer to my friend. i was just mad because i was bored and my friend didn't feel like doing shit or made the excuse 'places would better if i went with a boy'. it's like bitch, i'm here for two weeks and you pull that card. maybe it was wrong of me to expect epic adventures when i visited, but imo i could have spent that money somewhere else instead of traveling 3000 miles to be a couch potato.

[shoryuken]

About a week ago, one of my best friends from high school came to NYC/NJ to visit me and stayed for 8 days. The first few days were really fun, but near the end, it was like everything she said or did just kept pissing me off. It finally hit me just how much we drifted apart. I felt that she overstayed her welcome by about half a week, but I tried to keep being nice, but it was really, really hard to do, especially near the end.

Then, we had this discussion and she mentioned that she felt like I was "taking her for granted" since apparently I was being sort of distant (like excuse me if I don't need you following me to the bathroom, to get something from the bedroom, to the kitchen, to the wherever I f*cking go).

At the time, I was just like "uh, can't really take something I'm so actively disliking right now for granted since your CONSTANT PRESENCE and NEEDINESS is getting on my f*cking nerves and I NEED MY SPACE GADDAMMIT," but as I thought more about the thought of taking someone for granted, I came to the decision that for someone to say that is just really f*cking arrogant and self-centered.

You might be god's gift in your own eyes, but why would you push your importance and need to be appreciated on your friends? Do I really have to tell you that I love you and am OH SO GLAD THAT YOU ARE HERE every single hour of the day? Do I have to ACTIVELY APPRECIATE you and remind myself constantly that I should be SO HAPPY that you're in my life? What the hell do you want from me?

People "take things for granted" all the time. It's human nature. If we didn't take things for granted, we'd be too busy being thankful for the things around us to ever get anything done. Yeah, I do think every so often, you should be appreciative of the people around you and be happy for the things you have, but to be upset when someone isn't constantly worshiping the ground you're walking on is just ridiculous.

/rant

Had to get that off my chest.

Does anybody else feel the same way or differently or whatever?

BUU HUU... STFU

[Blyat]

ATTA BOY SHANAYNAY WAY TO HIT THAT SHIT

lol Not Shan-cakes