Createblog Diary Options

[Note]

dear dary

work was bad. i droped two bowls of soup. i shall nw take a nap.

-jerry

::jerry::

[Mini]

Dear diary,

Monay June 28, 2004, I went to my tutor today. He reviewed grammar with me, how boring yet hard because I never reviewed grammar for 3 years. Then he gave me an SAT prep packet to do, it's 10 pages. 0_o Anyways, I also went to the indoor pool and swam for 30 minutes. It was very relaxing. Blah blah blah..then I went home and turned on my computer. The afternoon of joy had begun.

Yours truly,
Mini (MUAH!)

[faithin_felix]

Dear Diary, June 27, I went to this girl's house, (babygurl_xtacy)'s house. shes on createblog too. yea, took some pics. and hanged around, played basketball with his bro.

June 28, I went out with sandra, she has createblog too, and now i am worryed because she is still not online yet yea, i hugged her soooo many times. and I LOVE HER. my heart only beats for her.

-- faithin felix

[crazeegirl411]

Dear Createblog Diary,
Sooo...sleepy. Couldn't sleep the whole night. Bad dreams. Insomnia. Especially since that dead cockroach was in my mind right before I went to sleep. Mom was in a cranky mood...pshhh. Went to my lessons...and then was in a good mood all rest of the day. *But I don't know what will happen later on.*

[ryfitaDF]

dear createblog diary,

i suck with girls this week. they all eather get mad at me easily or stop liking me or are mean. . the only things that have been keeping me happy are my band, HIM, and Michael Myers killing people.i love michael! he'll never break my heart.
and abbott and costell meet frankenstein...and the munsters... i missed the 48 hour marathon on TV land, though. writing helps, too. i should write more.

bye bye
~lunchbox

[crazeegirl411]

Dear Createblog Diary,
Lies...lies, lies...is all I hear. I'm becoming so paranoid and insecure with the world. I can't trust anyone anymore. Every single time, I just grow more and more, hurt. I can't bring myself to it as I used to. I feel like I'm lying to the world everyday when I'm putting on that smile. I feel really fake. No, I'm actually not blaming it all on me. Not one of my friends actually care to notice. All of them...I mean all of them, they blame me for never telling them how I feel. I can still remember an old friend that I had, she told me I was inconsiderate. It was a time when everything blew out of me...when I told her so many things that went on in my mind on a typed e-mail. I was furious, really furious. She constantly made me feel hurt. She claimed she was my best friend like someone else I used to know. Lies. I was not important to her. She made me feel insecure, if she considered me as a good friend or not. I was only looking forward to when I had a class with her, yet she never gave any appreciation or paid any heed.

Too much hurt...really. Constant guilt. Constant guilt. Constant guilt. I don't know...it may be what I did was wrong, but I was not a whole one-hundred percent to blame. Always saying I keep everything to myself. All of them. I'm tired of it. I'm seriously tired of it. They never thought of how hard it was to keep it inside. To keep all these thoughts inside, and to still walk to school. I can't smile, and your point is? SORRY, if I don't pay attention to you as much. It never seemed like they ever paid attention to ME. Why do I have to think of their side and they can't ever look at my situation? It hurts...it really hurts. I wish to tell it out, but I can't. Just give me some understanding and that's all I expect. But no.

I don't trust any of them anymore. I can't afford it. I can't help it. I'm no longer me. I've changed into a person even I, am foreign to. I've grew into something that I'm afraid of. If I felt trapped then, then what am I now? If I felt lost then...then what is it that I'm feeling now? If it's impossible to erase the pain, I wish to erase all my happiness and great memories, friends, anything to deal with cheerfulness from the past, present, future...so I don't ponder for it so much, so I learn to be used to this.

I'm afraid of the new me.

Sorry, long blog...I had to.

[mystical]

Dear Createblog Diary,
Lies...lies, lies...is all I hear. I'm becoming so paranoid and insecure with the world. I can't trust anyone anymore. Every single time, I just grow more and more, hurt. I can't bring myself to it as I used to. I feel like I'm lying to the world everyday when I'm putting on that smile. I feel really fake. No, I'm actually not blaming it all on me. Not one of my friends actually care to notice. All of them...I mean all of them, they blame me for never telling them how I feel. I can still remember an old friend that I had, she told me I was inconsiderate. It was a time when everything blew out of me...when I told her so many things that went on in my mind on a typed e-mail. I was furious, really furious. She constantly made me feel hurt. She claimed she was my best friend like someone else I used to know. Lies. I was not important to her. She made me feel insecure, if she considered me as a good friend or not. I was only looking forward to when I had a class with her, yet she never gave any appreciation or paid any heed.

Too much hurt...really. Constant guilt. Constant guilt. Constant guilt. I don't know...it may be what I did was wrong, but I was not a whole one-hundred percent to blame. Always saying I keep everything to myself. All of them. I'm tired of it. I'm seriously tired of it. They never thought of how hard it was to keep it inside. To keep all these thoughts inside, and to still walk to school. I can't smile, and your point is? SORRY, if I don't pay attention to you as much. It never seemed like they ever paid attention to ME. Why do I have to think of their side and they can't ever look at my situation? It hurts...it really hurts. I wish to tell it out, but I can't. Just give me some understanding and that's all I expect. But no.

I don't trust any of them anymore. I can't afford it. I can't help it. I'm no longer me. I've changed into a person even I, am foreign to. I've grew into something that I'm afraid of. If I felt trapped then, then what am I now? If I felt lost then...then what is it that I'm feeling now? If it's impossible to erase the pain, I wish to erase all my happiness and great memories, friends, anything to deal with cheerfulness from the past, present, future...so I don't ponder for it so much, so I learn to be used to this.

I'm afraid of the new me.

Sorry, long blog...I had to.

I'm really sorry you feel this way right now, I went throught this too, it was a really dark time in my life. I didnt know my friends anymore like that all dont care or what not about me. I just went along my day with a fake smile and pretend nothing was goin on but yeah i was hurting inside... it really sucked. I have never felt soo sad in my life during that time period, everyday was a pain to get up and face the harsh world and friends. Things finally worked out when one of my friends got really close with me and i felt as if people cared about me. And yeah i told her about alot of things and she help me about of this "period."


Sharie if you ever need someone to talk to....you have my number just pick up the phone.

[Winter]

Dear createBlog diary,

When I am normal, I call those who cut weak. When I am depressed, I think of it as a way to release all the hidden emotion. Yet I've never cut myself before.

No, I still don't dare cut. But I've recently started scratching myself. I use my long nails and scratch my upper arms until the skin comes out and I bleed.

I think it's an improvement. I've always cried myself to sleep, I always 'acted'. But now I feel like I'm doing something. And it just feels so damn good. Maybe I'll start cutting soon. And then, what's left will be death.

[Yemmerz]

Dear createBlog diary,

When I am normal, I call those who cut weak. When I am depressed, I think of it as a way to release all the hidden emotion. Yet I've never cut myself before.

No, I still don't dare cut. But I've recently started scratching myself. I use my long nails and scratch my upper arms until the skin comes out and I bleed.

I think it's an improvement. I've always cried myself to sleep, I always 'acted'. But now I feel like I'm doing something. And it just feels so damn good. Maybe I'll start cutting soon. And then, what's left will be death.

Noo, that's not the way... Don't do it, it will cause more pain.

Dear cB diary,

Yesterday was okay. I talked to Jose on IM, that was way too funny. x) I couldn't find my dad's USB cord, which pissed me off. Then I decided to cook. Randomly I make some noodles. Yum...they actually came out good. Woohoo~ still job searching -_-;;. It sucks that I'm not being funded <needs money badly> I counted 3 times yesterday, and I have come to the final amount of money I have, 23 cents. Blah.
>>yemi

[DesperateXMeasur...]

Dear CB Diary,

I think photobucket always knows when my layouts are at it's mercy. It never works when I need it to. I've also tried every other image hosting site that I know of, and they refuse to host my image.

I'm also on a bad luck streak. Every layout I make, starts with an amazing idea, but when I design it, ends up like crap. It's almost like designer's block.

Anyway, I'm going to my mom's on July 3rd. I don't know if she has internet so I might not be on for a while. She has a boyfriend that she's living with. Meaning, that I am going to have to stay with her and her boyfriend in their apartment. And quite frankly, I am extremely nervous. Almost all of her boyfriends have been scum, besides my dad. She says he's really nice, but then again, she says that about ALL of them.

Sorry for a somewhat long and useless entry.

-Brit

[silver-rain]

Dear CB diary,
its the second day of summer, and i'm sooo bored. my brother and i have this schedule for going on the computer, and right now, its my turn. but when i'm not on the computer, i have nothing to do. i've already read all the interesting books. i really need to get out, but i need to do something with some people.
i tried to go running again this morning, but i was too tired. i will go running tomorrow! i will...
anyways, i'm addicted to playing towers. after my friend re-introduced it to me, its all i've been playing.... hmm, i think i'll go play now. too bad i'm not good...


- linda

[islandkiss]

dear diary,

*sigh.
I still miss him. I want to be more than friends again. only if I could have another chance, if I could just hold him in my arms again..
I just can't seem to get over him. I know, he was my first bf and I need to have more experience but I really loved him a lot. I was talking to a friend the other day and I told him that I still had feelings for my ex. Well, since he's bff with my ex, he said that he wouldn't tell him anything and I made him promise.. this is kinda like what I told him " I heard that he hugged someone and that they like each other. I dunno. I just can't stop liking him" and our whole conversation was just based on that.

I trusted him and everything but he just ended up telling my ex that I saw him hugging another girl which, I didn't. and my ex got from that, that I still had feelings left for him. The reason why I'm so upset is because he was just leading me on and sh!t. and then he just ended a yr's relationship. argh, why can't I let go of him.. I know he isn't worthy of me....

[faithin_felix]

dear createblog diary,
today i kissed her, well a lot more happened, but i kissed her. lip to lip. hahaha, first time. omg, i loved that feeling. i also want to thank you god for making today such a wonderful day.

-- faithin felix

[waccoon]

Dear Diary:

Is it possible to be this smitten?


Waccoon Out.

[jaeman]

Dear cB Diary,

I love createBlog. It's the best.

-the_average_xangan.

[LatinaLady]

yes its me agian. i have to write....
theres no one i can talk to. no eone wants to hear it.
but i love that boy.
oh my goodness
if he were to hold me and give me a kiss it would be the best one EVER. i would not complain do anything negative. i would be the happiest girl

[crazeegirl411]

yes its me agian. i have to write....
theres no one i can talk to. no eone wants to hear it.
but i love that boy.
oh my goodness
if he were to hold me and give me a kiss it would be the best one EVER. i would not complain do anything negative. i would be the happiest girl

Awww...I'm here to listen

dear createblog diary,
today i kissed her, well a lot more happened, but i kissed her. lip to lip. hahaha, first time. omg, i loved that feeling. i also want to thank you god for making today such a wonderful day.

-- faithin felix

That sounds really sweet, feeling glad for you

Dear createBlog diary,

When I am normal, I call those who cut weak. When I am depressed, I think of it as a way to release all the hidden emotion. Yet I've never cut myself before.

No, I still don't dare cut. But I've recently started scratching myself.  I use my long nails and scratch my upper arms until the skin comes out and I bleed.

I think it's an improvement. I've always cried myself to sleep, I always 'acted'. But now I feel like I'm doing something. And it just feels so damn good. Maybe I'll start cutting soon. And then, what's left will be death. 

WHAT?!?! I know when I write, it's scary how suicidal it sounds, but I never knew it sounds THAT scary. I hope you're not freakin serious Don't be selfish.

Dear Createblog Diary,
Morning was boring, but when I headed into createBlog Chat, it was so funny . Mostly everyone left...but we had the kinkiest chat ever ...one of those times I'll never forget, haha. *added to my unforgettable memories*

[Winter]

Dear createBlog diary,

I found out today, my first love never loved me. He was playing me. The pain, it's unbearable. It's just... Gawd I dunno what to say right now...

<--- that smile's not correct, it should be a maniacal smile. I got blood all over my T-shirt sleeve.

[eboarder2020]

Dear Diary;

I guess its luck but its the same Hard luck... I guess its love but its like she said, Love is like a role that we play...I could die from the words that you say



God DAMMIT...So today was teh first day I've seen megan in months... I met her and her friends at the beach hoping to finnally get to talk to her, see whats been on her mind, and to meet and talk to new and old friends... It wasnt that. Today was a really hard day. Seeing megan for the first time today was so hard. Her boyfriend was there... Need i say what and how i felt??? It was so hard to look at her and not feel anything. Its so hard to see her and not remind myself how much I miss her. I miss her... I miss everything. I even miss the f**king arguments. As the time on the beach passed i realized that I went for the wrong reasons. I went because I missed her... And going there wasnt going to make my missing her ease up, instead it made me miss her more. As I drove home i kept telling myself to stay strong, to hold my head up high, to let it go. But the more i think about it, the more it hurts. The more it hurts, the more i break. It hurts when I think about her. I always think about her, and whenever I do, I catch myself asking if she misses me...Does she think about me, does she ever think about me when shes bored, when shes hurt, when shes lost, when shes happy?

Its just not fair. I've herd about megans new boyfriends. I've herd what they did, I've herd there past... It hurts to know that they arent being the best person for her. It hurts because i know megans criteria of guys. I know what she wants. I know what she demands. And these guys dont even meet half the things she asks. They dont go out of there way for her, they dont become truthful, they didnt love her like I did. How did all these guys get there way into her heart and not go through the trouble i did. I went through it all... I had to prove my self to her more than once, I was the one who held her high when she was low...They got it all, and here I am the guy who did all he can to be the man she wanted, needed, and asked for, and Im the guy suffering.

I read on someones site that says "Do you know this person...I replied...I used too". Thats what I would tell someone if they asked if i knew megan. I dont know her anymore. I miss the old her. Granted I havent really talked to her in two months but where did the old megan go. The old megan i used to remember was the type of girl who only said things when she felt that they would help the other person. The old megan who wouldnt settle for second best, the old megan who never let someone in her heart unless they proved themselves worthy? Where was the old megan that whenever she walked by everyone could notice the passion and fire in her eyes to be better? What happend to the megan who was home on time, who didnt sneak out, who really thought about things before doing them, who cared more about her friends then herself, the one who wrote letters, who smiled at me, who held me, who kissed me, who told me she loved me...Whered she go? Please tell me where my megan went???

The memories I keep are from a time like then
I put on my paper so I could come back to them
Someday i'm hopin to close my eyes and pretend
That this crumpled up paper can be perfect again

[Caitlin]

Dear Createblog Diary,
I cant understand what I really truly feel anymore.. I cant help myself but the guy I am falling back in love with is my ex boyfriend. Its like every move he makes hyponotizes me & I'm too chicken to even say Hi to him. I dont understand whats been going on lately.. everyone is like ho he still likes you he wants to go out with you again because he is in love with you but then I dont know if that is true. & Then theres David.
I should just ask him & clear up everything. People really suck when you say just one thing & they totally overreact about it. grow up..
this summer has been so boring

__more later <3 Caitlin

[crazeegirl411]

Aw, eboarder2020, people change. I've seen change of people since I was very young, from my sister to my friends, to other people I don't even know very well. It just happens, and there's no complete reason for it. I also hated it when people change...but when I see myself reacting to things differently, I notice that I'm changing as much as I hate it, as much as I don't want the way it is going. Maybe she couldn't help it either. If you ponder of her so much, you should talk to her. Two months. It's not a short time, but even though it's not a long time either, you should work it out. Do something instead of thinking and hurting. Solve your worries. I know, not as easy said than done, but you want something good for her, right? I don't exactly know the situation, but that's only my opinion.

[hybrid]

Dear Createblog diary,

Today I saved the my town from town destruction. I also saved a child from starvation by getting him to eat pizza. You know this is a lie right? I haven't done anything but take nature walks. I'm so lame. I need to die.

Love,
Kim Jr.

[LatinaLady]

Awww...I'm here to listen

thanks sweetie =)

Dear diary,
my shoulders are sore. i slept all wiered and thats the thing that made me all sore. ugh! should have know. i need to do stuff. i cantbe at home on the computer. its summer vacation i have to go out.

[sheddingtears]

Love the idea.

Dear Diary,

Went to the Decathlon Club today with my best friend again. For the second time in a row. Tomorrow will mark the third. Yeah, just getting some exercise in. Then yeah, got home and went online. He came back today, from his one trip. It makes no difference though since we rarely talk to each other anyways. I'm trying to move on this summer. Just gotta focus more on my grades.

<3

[*NatiMarie*]

Dear Diary,
Today I feel like socking people and smacking them straight in the face while seeing their putred expressions fade away while my fist slowly drops down. I feel like a piece of crap that has landed in the middle of an abandoned road.
Okay, that was a bunch of BS. Okay, today I saw Spider Man 2, Tobey is hot...tomorrow I might go to a theme park. Yippee.
Bye!
Love,
Natalie