what do you do when, things change feelings wise? Options

[mytangerine]

The title and topic description basically say it all, but allow me to clarify:

Say you are in a relationship for a semi decent amount of time, like 4 months or so and you realize that you no longer feel the same way about your significant other. Do you break up right away? Talk it out, maybe come to a mutual consensus about how to go about "working on things"? Pull the disappearing act where you avoid that person? How do you handle it?

[hi-C]

That kind of happened to me. We talked about it and he said he would change but he didn't so we broke up. So next time I would just break it off, unless it's marriage. Since marriage is semi-permanent and divorce is ugly.

[Comptine]

If I know for sure I'm not into the person anymore, I would tell the person. I wouldn't just disappear and hope that get the hint cause that's the coward's way. Nor will I stick to it because in the long run, it'll just hurt both of us.

[manny-the-dino]

Imo, the best thing to do is to talk about it. I don't think it's far for the other person to be given the cold shoulder or to be avoided. I wouldn't like that. If you really care about your significant other & want to work things out, try to spark up the relationship; go out on exciting dates, try different things, anything to spark excitement & get those feelings that you once had. I've also heard that spending time apart from someone is good. Try not seeing or communicating with each other for a few days & see what happens. It's suppose to make you "miss" that person & remind you why you're with them. I hope my advice helped. Good luck.

[mytangerine]

Imo, the best thing to do is to talk about it. I don't think it's far for the other person to be given the cold shoulder or to be avoided. I wouldn't like that. If you really care about your significant other & want to work things out, try to spark up the relationship; go out on exciting dates, try different things, anything to spark excitement & get those feelings that you once had. I've also heard that spending time apart from someone is good. Try not seeing or communicating with each other for a few days & see what happens. It's suppose to make you "miss" that person & remind you why you're with them. I hope my advice helped. Good luck.

Sigh. The reason I ask is because I guess I'm going through a break up. I say I guess simply because we discussed it, the reason for it being my change in feelings & we agreed to him taking a few days to think things out. I'd say we're pretty much through, since I cannot imagine wanting to be with someone after they basically told me they don't see me as a romantic interest any longer, but simply an exceptionally close friend. He "adores" me though, and I know we will be friends, but it'll hurt him since his feelings have managed to remain stable & intact. I don't think dates & exciting things are going to be an option at this point while everything is out on the table awaiting finality. Thank you for your advice though.

[gojira]

what would you do for a klondike bar?

[Tsukuyomi-No-Mok...]

Sigh. The reason I ask is because I guess I'm going through a break up. I say I guess simply because we discussed it, the reason for it being my change in feelings & we agreed to him taking a few days to think things out. I'd say we're pretty much through, since I cannot imagine wanting to be with someone after they basically told me they don't see me as a romantic interest any longer, but simply an exceptionally close friend. He "adores" me though, and I know we will be friends, but it'll hurt him since his feelings have managed to remain stable & intact. I don't think dates & exciting things are going to be an option at this point while everything is out on the table awaiting finality. Thank you for your advice though.

Hey all i can say is that everything takes time.
Time heals and Time passes

As long as you and the other person talk and find a common ground then you should be fine.
it's tough to start but afterwards it'll be all good

[LittleMissSunshi...]

^ agree.

if you talked about it, then make things more as a friendly gestures than romantic. he'll know when to back off when he lets go. don't stay too distant because it'll make things awkward if you want to remain friends with him. but stay distant enough(?) to make him considered as a friend. did that make sense? 0.o i don't want it to sound funny when reading it.

[mytangerine]

It totally made sense, no worries.

However, we did talk it out and we are going to be friends, so all is well . The main problem was that we kept discussing it over aim, since we both can voice what's on our minds better through writing. But the thing is, that got just way too complex and we decided to talk it out in person like we rightly should've in the beginning. So things are okay now, and nothing ended on a sour note like I was afraid of. The end.

[loveneko]

You can be mature and speak about it, OR you can cut out that wiyotch. It's only been 4 months, its not like you're married or anything.

[LittleMissSunshi...]

awhhhh, i hope your feeling better! i remember when you were still going out with that guy (;! heh, well hope everything is all well ^___^!

[superstitious]

The title and topic description basically say it all, but allow me to clarify:

Say you are in a relationship for a semi decent amount of time, like 4 months or so and you realize that you no longer feel the same way about your significant other. Do you break up right away? Talk it out, maybe come to a mutual consensus about how to go about "working on things"? Pull the disappearing act where you avoid that person? How do you handle it?

Clean break. For both sides, it's be the best way. The feeling of impending relationship demise is far worse than the actual breakup itself.

[towntown2]

I'd talk about it.
Honestly, if you keep it bottled, then your actions will reflect that.

Just get things out in the open so both parties involved can discuss it.

[forthesakeof]

my best remedy is talk to your significant other about it.

[mytangerine]

Lol guys! We're done! I said that already haha , thanks for the advice though. I'll be sure to use it if and when this situation comes up again.