You still love your ex?, I really don't want to Options

[bambamboom]

My ex and i have been going out for about 9 months already. Then I dumped him because I felt he was going to dump me anyways. I felt so bad because I still had feelings for him. I started realizing this until later. Then as I threw myself back at him, he didn't want to go back. I cried and asked why? He said he still loves me but not in the way we use to love each other. Then after he told me he found another girl, she is pretty and it hurts because she is basically flirting and hitting on him while we went out.
He likes someone else.
I still love him.
I really need to get over him. Please help.
I'm a mess and depressed.
I really want to know if there is a chance for him and i to get back together.
He was my first.

[Detective]

Of course your still going to have some feelings for him, he was your first. You have to realize that you will find other men out there for you, and not just only him. Keep your mind off him by keeping yourself busy, like sports or activity's you enjoy doing. I'm not going to lie to you, it's gonna be hard but you'll soon realize that this was just a little part of your life.

[aaayotiffany]

yeah, don't make it seem like this guy is the only guy for you. it will be hard. but if you really truly want to get over him, you can. you just have to set your mind on it. i know it'll be hard to not think about him, but try not to. its times like these when your friends are your best solution. just hang out with your friends and you'll realize that you don't need a guy in your life to make you happy.

yeah, you'll always care for him, especially since he was your first love. but you can't make it seem like he's irreplaceable because then he might start using you and all that junk. its not worth it.

[Butterflyphoenix]

you don't need a guy in your life to make you happy.

True dat!

Get your life busy. Hang out with friends, go see movies, or get into sports. Don't think about him anymore. He's not the only man out there, just remember that. You spend all of your time constantly thinking about you and you'll miss out on life.

[towntown2]

Your first love will be the hardest one to forget. It's normal.
This is your predicament, though:
You were the one who ended the relationship. By doing that, you should realize that you gave your boyfriend the impression that your feelings for him is gone and that he should move on as well.

Essentially, you made your bed, so you should lie in it.

As for whether or not you still have a chance with him, that's not up to us to decide.

Don't treat your first one as if he's the first, last, and only.
There'll be more guys for you.

He moved on, so you should, too.
Distract yourself with other activities that don't leave you with too much time to think.
The day will come when your fiery love for him cools.

[espressive]

it's not a good reason to break up because you believe the other person is going to break up with you first. but i'm not going to lecture you since it's pretty clear that it's a lesson learned. you sent him the message to move on when you broke up with him so you can't blame him for moving on.

you say that you need help getting over him, yet you ask me if there is a chance for you and him to get back together. that is contradictory in itself. how can you get over somebody when you're still clinging onto the hope that you're going to get back together? you cant. so i think you need to get your thoughts straight and take things one step at a time. it's obvious that you want to get back together with him but ask yourself if it's worth it since that is not guaranteed to happen no matter what you do. and even if you do get back together, don't expect everything to fall back to the way that it was. remember - you guys broke up for a reason. there was obviously something not right for that to happen. i realize that people do make mistakes and that i am being rather pessimistic about the whole situation, but you do need to see the bigger picture. if you don't, you'll only get hurt more in the long run.

so i guess before i say anything else, i want you to ask yourself if you're going to try to get back together with him or if you're going to let it go. if you pick the latter (which i think is the most reasonable choice), i'll post some words of wisdom from recent experience but if you pick the other choice, then i don't really know what to say except - be prepared & good luck.

[sharerol]

I am in a very similar situation that you are in. My ex and I broke up 3 months ago after going out for almost a year(also each other's first's) and I felt like the world was going to end. There was this one girl he always talked to when we were going out and he started hanging out with her even more once we broke up. I haven't seen or talked to him the entire summer and i STILL have feelings for him. And it still hurts every time I think that he's gonna be with that girl.

But think of it this way: If he doesn't feel the same way about you and isn't suffering, then why should you? You don't deserve to feel put down, and if he's moved on then you should too. You're just going to waste a chunk of your life moping over this guy who's already moved on with his. Instead you should keep your head up and just try to move on with your life and find other ways to be happy. If he likes the other girl, there's nothing you can do about it. You can't control what he does with his life. You just have to accept it and let it be. You just gotta toughen up and move on you know? There's no need to think of why it happened because it's already over. You have to pick yourself up and start fresh. I know it seems like the hardest thing in the world but you gotta overcome some tough obstacles in life. And trust me, no one died, so it's not the worst that could happen.

[datass]

Then I dumped him because I felt he was going to dump me anyways.

weird..

[AimeeLynn]

^ nice advice...


Anyways girl, You will move on. You will find someone else. Nothing is forever. He won't be your first and last bf.

You must of loved him that much to give yourself, but what happens happens. You can't change the past but move on to the future.

[Looow]

I don't even know if I haveeeeee an ex or not. Haha

It's obvious you're still going to have feelings for him.

Move on.

[fameONE]

Here comes the narcissistic sociopath to put in his $0.02...

Cut off all emotion. Drop your ex like a bad habit. Don't contact him in any way. If he makes an attempt to contact you, ignore him. Wipe him out of your life like bleaching semen-stained sheets. He is nothing but a distant memory. Suppress whatever feelings you have that resemble love for him.

You'll be fine.

[forthesakeof]

nope. I just want to bang her. So in a way, I don't want her emotionally (that is the most important), I just want her physically. No harm.

[brandmantra]

yes, I do. I'm sorry I can't stop :(

[roseannetangrs]

I was in a very similar predicament. It's long, but read it.

We were each other's firsts, and we were going steady for a year. Along came a girl, my club's Vice President (of which I was President, of who I happen to have to work very closely with) who started pouncing on my boyfriend. She invited him over etc, and for some odd reason, he would always follow. My friends were telling me I was becoming a doormat so I approached him within reason about the situation. He blew up in my face telling me that I never would trust him, give him space. For two days, it felt like the world was going to end for in that two days, I felt that our relationship of which we thought was so special was coming to a complete and screaming halt.

I invited him over to my house and I wanted to see if really he had lost feelings for me. Maybe hanging out would make everything okay again. It didn't. He wouldn't hold my hand or anything. He didn't wear his ring we exchanged on our anniversary 3 weeks before and it felt like everything we had was gone. I knew what I had to do. I don't think people in this forum understand you when you said that you broke up with him because you felt that he was going to break up with you. I understand for I did the exact same thing. I had to. He told me he didn't love me anymore and I told myself, I had to find it within myself to do it, so that I could save a bit of dignity from this relationship - of this experience of being completely abandoned.

He cried like a waterfall. He apologized many many times for doing this to me. I cried insanely. I was in love with him. I felt like he led me to a well, a deep deep well, and willingly pushed me in. Every time I tried to grab the walls to climb back out, he would drizzle slime so that I would slip. And the other girl? He denied everything. But right after we broke up, RIGHT AFTER, they became magnets, always together, always a pair.When I heard she broke up with her boyfriend and said she was interested in my ex, my heart nearly stopped, it felt like I couldn't breathe. I was gasping for air. I was friends with her, I was her "boss", she was my vice president.

About a week later, I could not take it anymore. I was thinking over and over again, asking my friends whether he would give me a second chance. Why would he cry for a week if he didn't right? I gave him a call and I was greeted with harsh solemnity of "I don't believe you can change" and "I don't want you to be my slave," but most horrifyingly at that time.."No."

I gathered myself and tried to be his friend, of which he so wanted me to be. I tried to act like everything was okay and that I was perfectly fine. I tried talking to him on msn, acting with confidence..maybe if he saw that I didn't need him, he would want me back? Was there a sliver of hope? I had to decide, and it is something you have to decide.

Then came Halloween. The "other" girl invited me over to her party, I went. My friend group is in the same friend group..so I guess it would be plausible to hang out with my friends on Halloween. This was the worst mistake, but probably the best thing I did to realize I was so wrong about getting him back. She shoved it in my face, leaning on him, touching him, I was going to cry. I was so angry and depressed. And then, I told myself, "what the hell am I doing? Fight her, win him back in front of her face" and so I tried sitting next to him but when I saw his phone and her picture on it, I realized that there was nothing, simply nothing more that I could do.

That was the time I finally realized that I had been simply replaced with another girl and that it was time to do whatever I had to do to move on.

It was so hard for me. Sometimes, it still is. It's been 3 months. I couldn't sit at my table in the cafe because they would be there sitting with my friends (same friend group), I had to work with the slut all the time because she was my vp and I didn't use my position to my advantage (thank god, even though I really wanted to), and it was just really really really hard. I remember it being like the worst months I have ever experienced in my life. No matter how I tried to make it better, it felt that I couldn't be happy anymore.

2 weeks later, THEY became boyfriend and girlfriend - my life nearly ended.

But, I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned. I became strong, I knew that I was stronger than this.

The best thing I did for myself was to cut all communication. CUT IT OFF - that means no msn, no email, no facebook, no phone calls/contacts. I deleted everything I had. I threw the ring away, his letters..everything. Finally, I sent him an email saying that I was erasing and that we cannot talk until I was done. He replied saying that I could never be replaced in his heart. You have realize that this statement is bullcrap and that he is just playing with you!

Then, all you have to do is wait. Time really does heal everything, it makes things blurry, so that you don't remember a thing.

Just forget him, please. Believe you did the right thing, believe that maybe he wasn't right for you after all and then find someone who is perfect for you. I thought he was perfect for me, I wanted to eventually marry him, but I realized that he wasn't and it takes time to do that.

Just you wait..
I hope you feel better :)

[irisdescence]

^ That's a long story. I have read it. I'm glad you finally got through it all and learned from it ;).



Girls are so much more into the love thing. So sensitive. Easy to break.

[LittleMissSunshi...]

oh dear, that's sad ):! well it's 2009, and 4 months have passed by, i hope your doing welll (:>! heh x]

[xiiduckies]

I use to have a problem like that. It took me 1 year to get over him;;


You did a right thing. Dont look back. Look Foward. Forget about him there is alot of guys out there drooling for you i bet (:

[salcha4u]

I was in a very similar predicament. It's long, but read it.

We were each other's firsts, and we were going steady for a year. Along came a girl, my club's Vice President (of which I was President, of who I happen to have to work very closely with) who started pouncing on my boyfriend. She invited him over etc, and for some odd reason, he would always follow. My friends were telling me I was becoming a doormat so I approached him within reason about the situation. He blew up in my face telling me that I never would trust him, give him space. For two days, it felt like the world was going to end for in that two days, I felt that our relationship of which we thought was so special was coming to a complete and screaming halt.

I invited him over to my house and I wanted to see if really he had lost feelings for me. Maybe hanging out would make everything okay again. It didn't. He wouldn't hold my hand or anything. He didn't wear his ring we exchanged on our anniversary 3 weeks before and it felt like everything we had was gone. I knew what I had to do. I don't think people in this forum understand you when you said that you broke up with him because you felt that he was going to break up with you. I understand for I did the exact same thing. I had to. He told me he didn't love me anymore and I told myself, I had to find it within myself to do it, so that I could save a bit of dignity from this relationship - of this experience of being completely abandoned.

He cried like a waterfall. He apologized many many times for doing this to me. I cried insanely. I was in love with him. I felt like he led me to a well, a deep deep well, and willingly pushed me in. Every time I tried to grab the walls to climb back out, he would drizzle slime so that I would slip. And the other girl? He denied everything. But right after we broke up, RIGHT AFTER, they became magnets, always together, always a pair.When I heard she broke up with her boyfriend and said she was interested in my ex, my heart nearly stopped, it felt like I couldn't breathe. I was gasping for air. I was friends with her, I was her "boss", she was my vice president.

About a week later, I could not take it anymore. I was thinking over and over again, asking my friends whether he would give me a second chance. Why would he cry for a week if he didn't right? I gave him a call and I was greeted with harsh solemnity of "I don't believe you can change" and "I don't want you to be my slave," but most horrifyingly at that time.."No."

I gathered myself and tried to be his friend, of which he so wanted me to be. I tried to act like everything was okay and that I was perfectly fine. I tried talking to him on msn, acting with confidence..maybe if he saw that I didn't need him, he would want me back? Was there a sliver of hope? I had to decide, and it is something you have to decide.

Then came Halloween. The "other" girl invited me over to her party, I went. My friend group is in the same friend group..so I guess it would be plausible to hang out with my friends on Halloween. This was the worst mistake, but probably the best thing I did to realize I was so wrong about getting him back. She shoved it in my face, leaning on him, touching him, I was going to cry. I was so angry and depressed. And then, I told myself, "what the hell am I doing? Fight her, win him back in front of her face" and so I tried sitting next to him but when I saw his phone and her picture on it, I realized that there was nothing, simply nothing more that I could do.

That was the time I finally realized that I had been simply replaced with another girl and that it was time to do whatever I had to do to move on.

It was so hard for me. Sometimes, it still is. It's been 3 months. I couldn't sit at my table in the cafe because they would be there sitting with my friends (same friend group), I had to work with the slut all the time because she was my vp and I didn't use my position to my advantage (thank god, even though I really wanted to), and it was just really really really hard. I remember it being like the worst months I have ever experienced in my life. No matter how I tried to make it better, it felt that I couldn't be happy anymore.

2 weeks later, THEY became boyfriend and girlfriend - my life nearly ended.

But, I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned. I became strong, I knew that I was stronger than this.

The best thing I did for myself was to cut all communication. CUT IT OFF - that means no msn, no email, no facebook, no phone calls/contacts. I deleted everything I had. I threw the ring away, his letters..everything. Finally, I sent him an email saying that I was erasing and that we cannot talk until I was done. He replied saying that I could never be replaced in his heart. You have realize that this statement is bullcrap and that he is just playing with you!

Then, all you have to do is wait. Time really does heal everything, it makes things blurry, so that you don't remember a thing.

Just forget him, please. Believe you did the right thing, believe that maybe he wasn't right for you after all and then find someone who is perfect for you. I thought he was perfect for me, I wanted to eventually marry him, but I realized that he wasn't and it takes time to do that.

Just you wait..
I hope you feel better :)

Wow, I actually felt sad reading that ): and I don't even feel sad when I watch krn dramas.

[gojira]

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

[Tsukuyomi-No-Mok...]

damn i mean i've been through shit before with exs and honestly with the exception of one ex i hate all mine
i have no love for them whatsoever.
my only ex i actually genuinley care for is my best friend now.

but i mean i would never break up wit someone if i jus felt like things were headed that way or looked that way
i mean if i love someone
i'm a do whatever i can to save what we got if something isn't goin good i'm a try and fix it
i'm a show the lady that i mean it when i give her that 4 letter word and i don't drop that word easily on anyone cause when i say that the lady knows i mean it cause i don't play games wit ladies cause i know tthat it's a hard thing to deal with when someone breaks ya heart and i know it's another thing that ladies are very emotional in comparison to guys soo you hurt a lady be ready for her friends to wanna kill you.

but how do you deal with these things.....
it all takes time you jus gotta find it in ya self to get over it.
but before that you wanna make sure there's really no other way to fix things
other wise take a few nights to your self then find ya friends and kick it with them for a while and let things blow over before doin anything else

yea you're still gonna have feelings for them depending on how things turned out but i mean that just show that they made an impression on you.