"Best" Friend, is a friend no more? Options

[mushiebeans]

Okay, so i've known this girl K since freshman year now, and we're seniors. I always thought we were pretty good friends but I dont really know anymore. Because I always end up feeling used by her. During freshman year, everything was okay because we had art and music in common. But during sophomore year, I felt a little iffy because I joined band because I wanted to join (and also she wanted me to). And since i didnt know ANYONE else there I assumed she'd kind of be there for me. And she was. But she would be talking to me, then one of her guy friends would show up (she only had guy friends and a few girl friends because most people didnt like her. she stirred up quite some drama during sophomore year. she quit band in junior year because she couldnt handle the drama. she didnt even tell me that she was going to quit. all of a sudden in junior year first day of school, i dont see her. that was disappointing. anyway..) and then she would be like "im going to talk to Sam now okay?" and leave me completely, while i had no one to talk to. After a while, i made other friends and started hanging out with them. Then she whined that we were drifting apart. NO DUH. During one gig at the LA county fair, i wanted to hang out with all my new buddies. but she wanted to "walk around the booths and talk." I obliged. it was fun, but not as fun once i heard how much fun everyone else was having playing paintball and going on the ferris wheel (sp?). I was miserable knowing that i missed out on a great bonding moment. I felt like a horrible friend becuase i was feeling miserable about hanging out with her. Same thing happened at the spring trip. I wanted to hangout with others and she wanted to be by ourselves. One day I confronted her about it and she CRIED and went to her guy friends. So i was left alone for the remainder of the trip because I couldnt find other people and she was talking to her friend. I ended up having a miserable time while she had a fine time talking to Sam.
In junior year, she quit band, so i had time to hangout with others. I had so much fun. I loved the people, because I'm a total people person. But I still kept in touch with her. But this summer, even though i "reserved" the right to her birthday, she went out with her other best friend, T. This year, she had a really hard schedule so i felt bad for her. But we never hung out because i was busy too. But every attempt to hang out with her was useless because she was busy. However, she somehow found time to hang out with T every month. Not the best way to handle 2 best friends who dont really know each other. I understood this in a sense because she and T have been friends for a long time. But what I didnt understand was this one time we had a local festival that i invited her to hangout at, and she couldnt because she was busy that day. However, come the festival day, and i see her hanging out with T again. Am i just being a jealous friend or am i not being treated right? The one reason this aggravates me so much is that everytime she wants to hangout or have fun, she goes to T. But when she's crying she comes to me, making me drop anything im doing to walk around with her to help her feel better. (I'm like that. If I see a friend crying or down, I drop everything I'm doing to try to help that person.) I felt used as a tissue. not a friend. :P
Senior year comes, I'm done with her. Everything she does gets on my nerves, whether it be worry about my well-being because i've been stressed lately, or play on the piano before class when I'm suppsoed to be warming up. Or play with other people's instrument if i ask her to get off because i need to warm up, when THEY need to warm up too. agh. it jsut feels like shes trying to make up for all the neglect shes shown me the past year. But I cant handle it anymore. The notebook that we've written in for the past 2 years lay untouched under my bed. Am I a bad friend? or was i being used this whole time? Do i give her another chance, or have I endured enough already?

[bumbumx3]

wow, i've been feeling really distant from my so called "best friend" too.
we've been bffs since 8th grade, and ever since she got a new boyfriend, she's been like completely MIA. I call her and ask her to hang out, she nevers picks up or makes any effort to call me back. UGHH, i understand.

[Joss-eh-lime]

i didnt read ALL the details.
but you are so not a bad friend. she is.
and bad friends are not good for much...

think carefully about how you feel when you are with her
do you feel used? annoyed? like you cant say everything you want to say?

if i were you i'd probably just keep my distance from her. if shes not even trying to reach out to you anymore, than she really isn't worth it.

[onlinedatingforu]

she should feel sad,thats her bad luck of loosinf your friendship ok

[crypt-tick]

it's possilble that her best freinds including you may each have different qualities about you that all of you tie together that ultimately composes and forms her happiness. does that make sense? for example that T guy may be good at knowing how to make her have alot of fun. while you may be the best for comforting her. i think she wants to keep both of you cuz when she felt you drifting away she probably felt like you would lose a part of her "happiness". i think that may sound selfish, but maybe she needs you more than you think. fair warning tho i don't think you should expect her to like u more than as a freind.

[LittleMissSunshi...]

maybe she considers you a person to talk about all her sad problems with. i think you were always there for her, even during that bad times. and she goes to you for all the quick-touchups to make her happy and not sad. but this best friend T she goes to always makes her happy and always want to talk to T because she normally has fun with T. does that make sense? mhmm if you don't get me, reply back and i'll try to explain more detailed. i don't think your a bad friend. she's just juggling friends and your caught in the middle of not having fun.. which is bad. if anything, talk to her, and if she starts crying. try to explain that you feel used and maybe she'll understand? i dont know if it's going to work again. hopefully this helps!