waiting times |
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 Nov 12 2008, 02:06 AM
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#1
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 Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 336 Joined: Dec 2003 Member No: 152  |
one of my good friends that i have known for over a year now is single, and i have liked her for quite some time now... just that the timing was off. we have good chemistry with each other, and i have always been there for her, as she has always been there for me.
she finally broke up with her boyfriend, she's calling me frequently and asking to hang out a lot more than she used to. except there's a problem. i wouldn't mind asking the question, but the fact is that she had a recent abortion along with an abusive relationship. i really want to be with her, take the relationship to the next level, give her what her other boyfriends didn't, but i just don't know how long to wait after everything that has happened to her. i mean, i waited for a long time but now that i have the chance certain road blocks are ahead of me. it will take time to go around it, but how long do you think i should wait? should i initiate it now completely disregarding what's ahead or should i take it slow and go around? |
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Nov 12 2008, 02:35 AM
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#2
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 Wow it's been a long time!! Group: Member Posts: 1,672 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 8,954 |
Definitely give it time, because right now she is really emotionally sensitive and may just want a shoulder to lean on, and a friend to talk to. You don't want to move to fast and risk pushing her away. You need to be there for her as a friend, and once she gets over what's going on (it varies from person to person but I would give it at LEAST a month or two... maybe even three) you can try to gradually talk about getting together.
Since you two are good friends, another thing you don't want to do is be a "rebound" from her past relationship. Those never last either and are usually thought of as mistakes. Take it slow, that's my suggestion. |
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Nov 12 2008, 09:38 AM
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#3
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 271 Joined: Feb 2008 Member No: 624,580 |
QUOTE(TBoltzbabe @ Nov 12 2008, 02:35 AM)  Since you two are good friends, another thing you don't want to do is be a "rebound" from her past relationship. Those never last either and are usually thought of as mistakes. Take it slow, that's my suggestion. Definitely agree! That would really screw things up for the both of you. I would also say to take it slow. But if you guys ever get into a real conversation about the two of you, I don't think it's a bad idea to tell her how you feel. As long as you get the point across that you've already waited for her before and you are willing to wait again until she is ready. Just be a good friend for now. |
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Nov 14 2008, 10:03 AM
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#4
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 336 Joined: Dec 2003 Member No: 152 |
rebound... i completely forgot about that. i guess time is the best solution.
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