Am I asking to much? Options

[CocaineNoseJob]

Idk if i'm being a little prissy bitch or wat but tell me ur opinion...



So this whole summer he was all talk about him working just for the sole purpose of helping me out with rent and stuff. He doesnt need a job either. He lives with his parents and they pay for EVERYTHING, and when i say everything I mean free freakin gas. lucky bitch ik. yea and i just turned 19 outta my parent's house, paying for everything, school, rent, bills, gas, insurance, everything. So when the time came i actually needed help, he kinda disappointed me. He said he was gna give me 200 the minimum a month and when I asked him to help me he only gave me half. And i hated asking for help, financially wise anyways, to my boyfriend none the less. I've always been independent since I was 16, paying for everything, down to my freakin socks. So when I broke down my pride to ask for financial assistance it was really hard for me.

I mean I dont want him to feel obligated to help me out at all. And I am grateful for everything he's done. It's just he doesnt really live up to his word and rise to the occasion. It's all talk and I would rather have someone not make any promises at all when they cant do it. And he defiantly can its just he's really cheap lol. idk. All in all I'm just trying to say, IT SUCKS BEING POOR! lol but really am i sounding like im asking to much from him?

[DoubleJ]

You sound like a selfish dumb ass right now. How do you complain about going to a concert for a band that you said is amazing? Be grateful that he did anything at all for your birthday. The fact that he is helping you out with YOUR bills is commendable to me. I know plenty of people that would have been like NEXT! So what if he couldn't give you the 200....he still gave you something. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

In some parts of your story, you are actually trying to make people feel sorry that you have to pay for your own shit...get over it. I have been paying for my own shit since 16 too, and have always found a way to get by.

To call him cheap is laughable. I bet he wasn't cheap when you were sitting your ass at that Pearl Jam concert was he? Grow up!

[CocaineNoseJob]

honesty is appreciated. But name calling is defiantly unnecessary. Thanks for ur opinion though. I do appreciate what he does for me it's just that all he does is talk abouth ow he works just to help me out. And yea he's at my house all the time, using utilities, so i dont see the wrong in asking for a little help that one time. The bill was a little higher than usual and it was probably because he and my friend's boyfriend was over almost everyday. And I never asked him for help before this.

and his bday present was equal to or more than the Pearl Jam tickets were worth so i defiantly reimbursed him, i was getting at that he didnt put much thought into the gift. For me as a person what I would have enjoyed instead. It was his favorite band.

And if I were in his situation I would defiantly help out as much as I could. and I have helped him out in the past financially too.

[DoubleJ]

I understand what you are saying, but you have to be realistic at the same time. Ok, so yeah he was using the utilities, what are you going to do when he comes over? Turn the power off? If that is the case, you should have told your friend's man to fork over some cash too.

The issue with the tickets to me is silly. I can understand if it was a band that you absolutely don't like, but according to you, pearl jam is amazing.

That is like me saying I hated going to a concert by The Vines who I think are amazing, but aren't my favorite band. You should be happy that he did something at all.

[CocaineNoseJob]

Well as a person using someone else's utilities, knowing their situation from living paycheck to paycheck, I think it would be the ethical thing to offer money to help out a little, especially when they're there all the time. Ik thats what i would do if I were going over someones house and using their shit all the time. And my friend's boyfriend has given money without even being asked. It was just hard for me to ask my boyfriend cause i hate feeling like I need him financially.

And Pearl Jam is amazing but Dave Matthews was playing around the same time, and he knew I would have LOVED to see Dave Matthews. Seeing them wud have made my whole year, but since Pearl Jam was his favorite band he got those tickets instead and called it my bday gift. But ask anyone that knows me, I would have picked Dave Matthews over Pearl Jam any day.ITS THE THOUGHT THAT WAS LACKING. i'm not saying i totally hate him for it, but seriously it's like buying him freakin Missy Elliot tickets for his bday when Smashing Pumpkins was playing too, but I picked Missy Elliot instead cause I liked her more.

[towntown2]

If he physically lives with you at your place full time, then he should pay for half of the rent because you two are in a roommate situation.
That's just common sense regardless of your financial backgrounds.

I understand the pride issue when it comes to asking for money.
However, if the condition calls for it, then there's nothing else you can do.
It doesn't hurt to ask for help from time to time.

[You must've edited out the Pearl Jam thing in your first post cause I have no idea how the concert thing came about.]

[CocaineNoseJob]

^^ I agree with u. But Idk i feel bad when i ask for help, I hate it. But as I said before he's all talk about working to help me out, how he actually has money in the bank to give me. I dont bring any of that stuff up, he talks about it all the time when he's over. But when the time came that I actually asked him for help he didnt rise to the occasion at all. Idk it sounds selfish on my part at the same time..

and yea i deleted the whole pearl jam thing right after i posted it cause i realized that it had nothing to do with me asking to much of my boyfriend and the real issue that i have now. lol but yea doublej read it before i erased it i guess...

[DaCandy]

So, you needed help and he helped you out but with less than what he promissed ? Is that it ?
Look, I think you're asking too much because you dont live with him do you ? So he has no dutty on helping you out financially, I mean if I lived out of my parents house and if i was going through some dificulties I obviously would sit down with him and talk about it , but since we were not living in the same house, EVEN IF I ASKED HIM FOR HELP, I wouldnt be with big expectations about him helping me solving my financial problems, because he's just my bf, he's not my parent !
Anyway you say you're grateful and yes, you should be because even if he's the cheapest person on earth he helped you out. And Im telling you, most people wouldnt even care. They would just say - " OK I will help you" & then turn their back & say "Screw you, im not yo folk "
Its a cold world.

[DoubleJ]

So, you needed help and he helped you out but with less than what he promissed ? Is that it ?
Look, I think you're asking too much because you dont live with him do you ? So he has no dutty on helping you out financially, I mean if I lived out of my parents house and if i was going through some dificulties I obviously would sit down with him and talk about it , but since we were not living in the same house, EVEN IF I ASKED HIM FOR HELP, I wouldnt be with big expectations about him helping me solving my financial problems, because he's just my bf, he's not my parent !
Anyway you say you're grateful and yes, you should be because even if he's the cheapest person on earth he helped you out. And Im telling you, most people wouldnt even care. They would just say - " OK I will help you" & then turn their back & say "Screw you, im not yo folk "
Its a cold world.

PREACH!

[DaCandy]

AMEN ! LOL

[CocaineNoseJob]

lol k guys

[Insurmountable]

Did you edit your first post to say what it does now, or am I missing something?

I don't think there is anything wrong with asking him for some money that your going to pay him back for, especially if he offered before hand that he would help you out. I don't know if its just me, and me being a girl as well, but I don't think there was anything wrong with that you did and I understand how hard it is to actually come out and admit that you need help.

If your complaining that he only gave you $100, instead of the $200 that he said he would give you, then I mean I don't know what to tell you, but to suck it up. He technically doesn't have to help you, unless he sits around at your place and uses your things and eats your food, or drives your car, etc. I think if you really needed the $200, then you should have came out and said, Can you please lend me $200.

Or are you not paying him back for this stuff?

[CocaineNoseJob]

My boyfriend and I are so close, in our relationship we don't keep tabs in who buys what or how much money we lend each other. We just do it and there's no worries about getting paid back or watever. But from everyone's advice i came to the conclusion that i'll gratefully take whatever he gives me and not complain about it. =] I'm lucky I have him, some of u gave some good points..some guys would of just not helped me at all.