I am America! (And So Can You!), By Stephen Colbert Options

[Just_Dream]

Yes, he wrote a book. I bought it today, so I thought I'd post a few excerpts from it:

"Every Organization needs strong leadership. At home, my word is law. Whatever I say goes. For instance, recently my son wanted a laptop computer for his birthday. I said, "Go ask your mother." And he did. That's respect." (page 7)

"Can't tell if someone's making a joke if you can't see that person's face. Big reason I don't like books. No faces. Can't tell when they're being funny." (page 21)

"So to sum it up: American is a Christian nation. And as the old Negro says, 'This Train is bought for Glory, this Train.' Folks, America is riding the Jesus Train." (page 48)

"For the Ladies
Doing Do's
... If you go out to dinner, let him pay. You deserve it. Plus, offering to pay makes you look like you've got money to burn. Before you know it, he'll be hitting you up for loans and asking to borrow your car. I've done it dozens of times. And during the meal, order something that will get his attention, like a side of bacon for dessert. I can't think of anything sexier." (page 94)

I'm not telling you guys to go out and buy the book. But so far it's an interesting read. Stephen Colbert's hilarious. :]

For those who've bought or skimmed over the book - what did you think?


(and I searched for this topic, but to no avail. So if there is another one before this, MERGE THIS, FOOs!)

[xoxoxx]

looks interesting.

[LennonLime]

my friend bought it and brought it to school. We started to read it during lunch. A whole table full of people staring at this book. We loved it!

[karmakiller]

I got this book a few days ago and it's so funny. I had to read some of the parts to my friends.

[Marlons]

it looks pretty good, I'm gonna go check it out.

[RiddleMeWonders]

I want to pick this up so badly.

Have had trouble finding it.

[*yrrnotelekktric*]

http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/070711/i_l.jpg

Yes, he wrote a book. I bought it today, so I thought I'd post a few excerpts from it:

"Every Organization needs strong leadership. At home, my word is law. Whatever I say goes. For instance, recently my son wanted a laptop computer for his birthday. I said, "Go ask your mother." And he did. That's respect." (page 7)

"Can't tell if someone's making a joke if you can't see that person's face. Big reason I don't like books. No faces. Can't tell when they're being funny." (page 21)

"So to sum it up: American is a Christian nation. And as the old Negro says, 'This Train is bought for Glory, this Train.' Folks, America is riding the Jesus Train." (page 48)

"For the Ladies
Doing Do's
... If you go out to dinner, let him pay. You deserve it. Plus, offering to pay makes you look like you've got money to burn. Before you know it, he'll be hitting you up for loans and asking to borrow your car. I've done it dozens of times. And during the meal, order something that will get his attention, like a side of bacon for dessert. I can't think of anything sexier." (page 94)

I'm not telling you guys to go out and buy the book. But so far it's an interesting read. Stephen Colbert's hilarious. :]

For those who've bought or skimmed over the book - what did you think?
(and I searched for this topic, but to no avail. So if there is another one before this, MERGE THIS, FOOs!)

Omg, the excerpts really made me want to read this.
I think i`ll buy it when i`m not so pinned down with all the other books i`m trying to read right now.

[MissFits]

^Just rent it from the library.
It's a really easy and amusing read. I LOVE this book.

[Just_Dream]

You can get it from Target for like, $16. Something like that. Don't buy it from Urban Outfitters though. They charged full=price. Good thing I got mine from Borders'! :D There's some other really awesome quotes, but I got lazy to post them.. Should I?

[Melissa]

I read through the first page of the book and absolutely had to buy it... but I didn't have money on me.

I ordered it for my aunt, though, and she really likes it.

[dannyordinary]

I've been dying to pick this up, but too lazy.
Colbert is a genious.

[livwho]

I'm thinking about getting it actually. The excepts you chose were excellent. I'm excited to read it now.

[*CowerPointyObjects*]

I got it for Christmas and am about halfway through. It's pretty amusing, and requires so little attention that it's ideal for filling in all the awkward little gaps I have between class times.

[miyashu]

I got this for Christmas and this is by far the most amusing book I've ever read.

"It's not seniors' fault that they're such whiners. There's someone else to blame. Franklin D. Roosevelt, who gave our country Social Security, a system which rewards seniors for doing nothing.

Sorry, but retirement offends me. You don't just stop fighting in the middle of a war because your legs hurt. So why do you get to stop working in the middle of your life just because your prostrate hurts?"

- page 23

Stephen Colbert on Buddhism:

"..And frankly, I'm offended by this idea of the so-called "middle way," the Buddhist doctrine of avoiding extremes. What's the point of religion without extremes? You're either a believer who's guaranteed a seat at God's right hand in the Kingdom of Heaven or an infidel condemned to boil eternally in a lake of searing excrement. We're at Holy War; pick a side, tubby"

My boyfriend is buddhist and he found that passage hilarious xD.

[*yrrnotelekktric*]

^Just rent it from the library.
It's a really easy and amusing read. I LOVE this book.

I know. But i prefer to own the books i read. Weird, i know. Its just how i am.

[S-Majere]

"..And frankly, I'm offended by this idea of the so-called "middle way," the Buddhist doctrine of avoiding extremes. What's the point of religion without extremes? You're either a believer who's guaranteed a seat at God's right hand in the Kingdom of Heaven or an infidel condemned to boil eternally in a lake of searing excrement. We're at Holy War; pick a side, tubby"

That's brilliant. I might have to get this.

[Melissa]

^Just rent it from the library.
It's a really easy and amusing read. I LOVE this book.

OMG! you speak blasphemy1

"... Because this book is for America's Heroes, And who are the Heroes? The people who bought this book. That bears repeating. People who borrow this book are not Heroes. They are no better than welfare queens mooching off the system like card-carrying library card-carriers. For the record, we're not offering this book to libraries. No free rides" (Colbert, viii).


And haha, I caught a typo. He (or whoever took his dictating down) wrote "they are no better then welfare queens mooching blah blah blah."

[hypnotique]

I have the book and the CD and I died listening to it.

[karmakiller]

There's a CD?!

I LOVE this book, I'm so glad I bought it, but I haven't read it straight through, just the sections and not in order.

(Eh, that was worded weird.)

[iDecay]

I've been wanting this book for a while now. It seems quite interesting and entertaining. I was tempted to get it when I was at Costco, but my mom said I had too much books. (NOT POSSIBLE!)

[Reidar]

The CD rules. I was listening to it when a volcano sprouted through my living room and killed my dog, which was awesome.

His delivery makes the same jokes that much funnier. Sadly, it's abridged, but still worth checking out. Just try to fill in the gaps with your imagination. Here's mine: Communist pterodactyls orange soup. Actually, I don't need to do that because I've read the book, but I always think those things.

[TiffanyFactorial]

ive been meaning to pick up this book, i totally forgot about it. love stephen colbert.

you know, when i had no idea that his show was a parody and everything was just sarcasm and satirical, i was like...omg this guy's worse than bill o'reilly and then i realized, he's making fun of bill o'reilly. and now his book is practically his show in a book, right? now i have to go buy it.

[moninja]

haha, one of my friends was reading this in class. he would have random outbursts of laughter XD

[towntown2]

I got this book for Christmas, and it's hilarious.
I still haven't finished it, but it's like reading transcripts of his show.

My favorite part is about the economy when he said that AARP isn't just the noise an old man makes when he gets out of the beanbag chair.

[coconutter]

my friend stole this book from me! i lent it to him and now he hates me so i think i may have to get his sister to go on a secret mission to find it