How to Lose A Guy, Nicely Options

[towntown2]

I am rather embarrassed posting this, but I do need the help.

A few months back, I got a Myspace message from a guy complimenting me on my photography. We began to talk back and forth, and our conversation soon moved to AIM. We have things in common, and there was soon an air of flirtation that laced our posts. It's been almost five months, and by now, our IMs have moved to phone conversations.

He's very kind and smart. Our conversations flow from a range of topics, and it's always fun and flirtatious. He suggested we meet sometime during the summer [he lives about an hour and a half away], but I have always pushed the date back out of nervousness. I think this should have been a warning sign. My guts have always told me not to push this thing with him too far.

So lately he's been very romantic-al. Telling me how he misses me over the weekend, how he thinks of seeing me and looking into my eyes. But while he seems to be more and more interested, I start to feel myself pulling back. I don't want to be in this arrangement with him anymore [I hesitate to call it a relationship].

On top of that, I'm beginning to develop feelings for a someone in my own town. I feel more comfortable with this guy than the online dude. What I want is to pull away without hurting him too much. I feel that he'd be much happier with someone close to him rather than me. Also, I have relationship and trust issues that I need to fix before jumping into anything serious.

How do I break it off diplomatically and ensure that he will respect my request to cease all online and phone conversations?

[MissFits]

Tell him what you just told us.
That you are interested in someone in your area and you feel he'd be happier with someone closer to him as well.
Honesty is the best policy.

[towntown2]

I'm really dreading having to tell him over the phone.
When I'm in a confrontation, I deviate so much from my prepared dialogue that I start saying stuff that I don't mean.

[MissFits]

So write down what you want to say.
Make a script for yourself and ask him not to interupt you.

You can make it as nice or as mean as you want to.

[towntown2]

-sigh-
I really hate this situation.
My fear is he'll ask, "How can you lose feelings for someone so quickly?"

I've been asked that question by another guy before, and it hurt me to answer.

[MissFits]

Just be honest.
You'd hurt him more by lying.

[Butterflyphoenix]

^I agree.

[ilikeyerrpants]

I agree with all of the above.
tell him exactly what you told us in this topic.
By holding on, you will only hurt him more.
good luck and hope I helped. (:

[towntown2]

Problem solved a few days ago.
He was very understanding.
Whew.

[ilikeyerrpants]

that's good to hear.
I'm glad everything worked out. (:

[angelrevelation]

Would Chris Hansen agree with this meeting?

I wish all guys could be so understanding.

[ilikeyerrpants]

I wish all guys could be so understanding.

mhmmm, ditto.
but we all know thats NEVER going to happen. lol.

[tokyo-rose]

Problem solved a few days ago.
He was very understanding.
Whew.

That's good, I hope he's not hurt by this anymore.

Topic closed. PM me if you need this reopened.