Stuck in the Past, still in love with my ex Options

[Piccola]

Hi,

I would like to share with you the things I`m passing through at the moment. I'm married and I have even a son. My husband really loves me and if he could he would even get the moon if I ask for it. Where is the problem? I`m not happy. I'm stucked in the past. I met him 8 years ago, I loved him from the first day i saw him . We became good friends. Best Friends, I used to tell him everything, he knew me inside out. We used to go out together, share anything. He was my soulmate. Both knew we were in love but none of us ever said that we were.... Maybe because if we had said that we loved each other, the spell would have been broken. It was very stupid not to confess our feelings and to remain bestfrieds for ever. After 2 years in this situation I met my husband. We started a relationship which was very different from that I had with Drew.Drew said he was very happy for me and that he hope to find love as well. I thought I love my husband, and I do love him but I am not in love with him as I was with Drew. After 3 months we were together one day Drew told me he was in love with me and that he was afraid of losing me. I cried, I didn`t know what to do, I still loved Drew, but couldn`t leave my husband... at that time I thought the best thing was to go on with my husband and try to forget Drew. That was the last time I saw Drew. Years passed and I got married, but my love for Drew never left me. He has a girlfried but still ask for me whenever he meets my friends. Now about 3 months ago we found each other on line. We chatted and sent emails, and found out that although 6 years have passed we are still in love and we will always be. I'm desperate.. I don`t know what to do.
Please help

Thanks
Piccola

[ChangeofHeart]

I'm sorry to hear this. You have a son and it's important that your family stays together for the sake of your son. Stay with your husband and just don't ever look back at your feelings for your friend.

[shoryuken]

Hi,

I would like to share with you the things I`m passing through at the moment. I'm married and I have even a son. My husband really loves me and if he could he would even get the moon if I ask for it. Where is the problem? I`m not happy. I'm stucked in the past. I met him 8 years ago, I loved him from the first day i saw him . We became good friends. Best Friends, I used to tell him everything, he knew me inside out. We used to go out together, share anything. He was my soulmate. Both knew we were in love but none of us ever said that we were.... Maybe because if we had said that we loved each other, the spell would have been broken. It was very stupid not to confess our feelings and to remain bestfrieds for ever. After 2 years in this situation I met my husband. We started a relationship which was very different from that I had with Drew.Drew said he was very happy for me and that he hope to find love as well. I thought I love my husband, and I do love him but I am not in love with him as I was with Drew. After 3 months we were together one day Drew told me he was in love with me and that he was afraid of losing me. I cried, I didn`t know what to do, I still loved Drew, but couldn`t leave my husband... at that time I thought the best thing was to go on with my husband and try to forget Drew. That was the last time I saw Drew. Years passed and I got married, but my love for Drew never left me. He has a girlfried but still ask for me whenever he meets my friends. Now about 3 months ago we found each other on line. We chatted and sent emails, and found out that although 6 years have passed we are still in love and we will always be. I'm desperate.. I don`t know what to do.
Please help

Thanks
Piccola

PM princcee u fonee numbaa n u adddrezz...

[aaayotiffany]

WOW. i agree with changeofheart. you are married and you even have a son, you shouldn't throw that away. your son is your number one priority right now. don't leave your husband for the sake of your son.

the best thing to do now is to move on from the past. don't stay stuck in it, it will only bring you bad things for the future. especially if your past is an unpleasant one. and which, in this case, it is an unpleasant one. because you're wondering what if.

[MorphineMayhem]

I agree, if you leave your husband, it will leave your son confused and torn apart. But you should also not pressure yourself in staying with this relationship. You should talk with your husband and communicate, make that old spark come back to life! You need to forget about your past love, and look at what you have infront of you. You have so many things to appreciate, don't live your life thinking about what could have been.

[Kay-]

Ask yourself, would you want to be stuck in this pain of not being with the one you love? Or would you want to be happy and be with the guy. You also have to figure who you care about more, your son or you.

[queen]

wow. you had your chance to leave your current husband before you got married. i agree with above posts. you should think about what's most important to you.

[f00LisH_h3aRt63]

i agree with what everyone has said. you should stay with your husband for the sake of your son. BUT, if you really know for sure that you love drew more than your husband..or even love one and not the other then it's best for your son that you make a choice. if you stay with your husband just because of your son then what will that show your son what love really is. at the same time you don't want to be selfish and hurt your husbands feelings as well as put your son in a compromising situation.

you have to weigh out the pros and cons.

jackie

[Spirited Away]

You say you are unhappy, but it is an illusion created by your persistent desire to be with Drew. Why should a woman married to a good man who is a wonderful husband and father be unhappy? You should be happier than MOST OF US.

Obviously, you focus on the past, thus you are stuck in it. However, it looks like you're also letting the past catch up to you as you are actually talking to Drew about your love for each other. In essence, you are cheating on your husband. Do you not feel bad about it? And in retrospect, if you loved Drew and he loved you but got married anyway, you cheated your husband's feelings as well as your own AND Drew's.

Look at it this way: you can't have the one you really want, so you went for 2nd best. And you know what they say: second place is just a first place loser. My sympathies go out to your husband.

Now, most people will say "don't leave your husband for the sake of your child", and in some cases, I will support that advice. I am so very lucky that my parents stuck by each other instead of divorce when they were at their worst (chasing each other with knives). However, seeing that you are actively involved with Drew behind your husband's back (tho online... whatnot), I suggest you get marriage counseling or divorce your husband. Your baby will be MORE confused if you stay with your husband but reaches out to another man. I wouldn't be surprised if he grow up to hate women since the one that his father loves and takes care of would treat him so wrongly.

Don't be that woman whom everyone calls a whore. Decide what you want today: divorce to be with the one you claim to love or stay with your husband and forget the other man. Cheat anyone, and you cheat yourself.

I am not purposely trying to be harsh, but I will never baby someone who is really considering leaving her family just like that. Having being cheated on myself and not knowing until one day he said "I loved you but I also found that I had feelings for (insert name here) and we've been seeing each other... I don't know what to do or how to tell you..." would make me cheer for the underdog.

If not for yourself, then for your son: be a good example of a strong woman who can make sound decisions and stick by them.

[f00LisH_h3aRt63]

You say you are unhappy, but it is an illusion created by your persistent desire to be with Drew. Why should a woman married to a good man who is a wonderful husband and father be unhappy? You should be happier than MOST OF US.

Obviously, you focus on the past, thus you are stuck in it. However, it looks like you're also letting the past catch up to you as you are actually talking to Drew about your love for each other. In essence, you are cheating on your husband. Do you not feel bad about it? And in retrospect, if you loved Drew and he loved you but got married anyway, you cheated your husband's feelings as well as your own AND Drew's.

Look at it this way: you can't have the one you really want, so you went for 2nd best. And you know what they say: second place is just a first place loser. My sympathies go out to your husband.

Now, most people will say "don't leave your husband for the sake of your child", and in some cases, I will support that advice. I am so very lucky that my parents stuck by each other instead of divorce when they were at their worst (chasing each other with knives). However, seeing that you are actively involved with Drew behind your husband's back (tho online... whatnot), I suggest you get marriage counseling or divorce your husband. Your baby will be MORE confused if you stay with your husband but reaches out to another man. I wouldn't be surprised if he grow up to hate women since the one that his father loves and takes care of would treat him so wrongly.

Don't be that woman whom everyone calls a whore. Decide what you want today: divorce to be with the one you claim to love or stay with your husband and forget the other man. Cheat anyone, and you cheat yourself.

I am not purposely trying to be harsh, but I will never baby someone who is really considering leaving her family just like that. Having being cheated on myself and not knowing until one day he said "I loved you but I also found that I had feelings for (insert name here) and we've been seeing each other... I don't know what to do or how to tell you..." would make me cheer for the underdog.

If not for yourself, then for your son: be a good example of a strong woman who can make sound decisions and stick by them.

woooooooord!!

jackie

[Kontroll]

First of all. This is the wrong place to go. This is more for highschool drama relationships, than anything else. Sorry, nerds, but it is. After everything I've read, sorry to tell you.

Secondly, it's good that you're staying with your husband, I can't blame you for that. It shows your character as a person, and it seems that you're an outstanding person.

But at the same time, really what you're doing is lying to yourself, your husband, your buddy Drew, and your son. I understand that staying together for the sake of your child is important. But think about it. If you're still together down the road, still unhappy, and still in love with another person, you're just cheating everyone out of a relationship that deserves it from their mother, and wife.

I'm not telling you what you should or should not do. That's entirely up to you. But, in this day and age, divorce is a common thing. Almost every married person I know has had a divorce. Not that they are bad people, but people rush into things, or they are just not as selfless as they had thought.

I'm not a f**king marriage couselor. My word obviously should not be set in stone. Neither should anyone here. But yours is. If you feel that staying with your husband is the right thing, then it must be so. Because you shouldn't be living your life for what could have been, or for other people in that fact, unless it's your family.

Really, what I think you should do is talk it over with some one who has more knowledge of this area. Teen age kids are not your answer. Talk to your parents, or a pastor or something. Some one who has been through it. They will guide you where you need to go. Truely.

I sinscerely hope you find what you want. Don't let what could happen to your child mentally have anything to do with this, because from what I've found... Most kids, if brought up right, will not suffer anything from a divorce. Granted they still see both parental figures. But listen, if you want to talk more just pm me.

I'll try to give you what ever you need. Good luck.

[PlasticPiolet]

that drew guy could be just saying this that you wanted to hear! your husband is real sweet from what i've heard so stay with him and forget about the past! don't even contact drew cause the more you talk to him the more you'r gonna want to leave your hubby!