did i mess up? Options

[LizzieCupcakes]

im gonna try and not make this long because it is a long story with alot of details. first of all, I live in Arizona and he lives in Texas so its a long term relationship and we've been together nearly a year and 4 months.

it starts in december, i decided to do a shady thing and started hanging out with a guy i liked at the time while i was still with my boyfriend. even though i did not do anything physical with him and knew it was wrong considering me and him had a relationship with different people, i decided to end the fling for my boyfriends sake and his girlfriend. i felt guilty about the situation and decided to tell my boyfriend about it. of course he did not take it well and lost trust for me. considering we where miles apart and the other guy lived here and went to school with me, he didnt have trust for me at all when i went out.

skipping 5 months later to may of this year,things have been getting rocky between me and boyfriend because of the situation that happened in december. i began to get distant from him because my grades began to slip and i needed to catch up but he didnt understand why i wasnt talking to him that much. we both got frustrated and i ended things, we tried being friends but i missed him more the days grew and i begged him to get back together but he always said no. its finally june and i cant be friends with him because i want to be with him and cant be friends with someone i love more then a friend. today he finally has admitted to finding someone else and that just broke me down and i decided not to speak to him anymore because i cant see him with someone else and i need time to forget my feelings for him to be friends with him again but he begged me to be friends with him and i told him no and he decided to remind me of what i did in december and told me thats what led him to do that.

is it fair that he wont give me a fair chance even though i had feelings for another guy that i never did anything physical with?

or

is it wrong on my part to not be friends with him even though he has another girl in his life

plz help me

[ChangeofHeart]

Your boyfriend is doing the right thing for both of you in the long run, by ending it now. Your relationship can't work if he doesn't trust you. If you have feelings for another guy it might be a sign that you yourself can't maintain a long distance relationship. I think it is best for both of you to move on.

[shoryuken]

BIEETCHH... dat shiett maddd longgg yo.. JEEZ SHEEJJ..

ahem..

litt moii c u pic.. n noo u aintt mezzz upp..

[aaayotiffany]

if there's no trust in a relationship, there is no relationship. you guys would be just having each other around for comfort needs. its not healthy at all.

i actually ended a relationship of mine because of trust. because he didn't trust me, at all, plus some ridiculous accusations along with that. so this might actually be good for you. because its working well for me.

if you don't want to be friends, thats your decision because remember you have to be strong for yourself. don't let him think that you can't live/be without him. but i do understand it being hard coping with the fact that he has someone else. honestly, the best thing to do would be time from him. a lot of time.

[Kay-]

Tell him you still have feelings for him.
Ask him if he still has feeling for you.
Go on from there.

[LizzieCupcakes]

Tell him you still have feelings for him.
Ask him if he still has feeling for you.
Go on from there.

ive told him that but he wont budge plus he says he has someone else =/

[imnoxonesmemory]

Most of the, sensible replies, are truthful.
You need trust or it doesn't work.
It's totally understandable you don't want to be friends with him right now,
but trust me, from experience try. Cover up your pain from him, and try to be friends.
Because I'm guessing in the long run you don't want to lose him completely?

That's just from experience. But the break up is better for both on you.
Catch up on your grades, things you've missed out on. And enjoy life. :)

Goodluck! hope you work it out. And remember, it's pretty normal for things like this to happen!! x

[TigerUppercut]

im gonna try and not make this long because it is a long story with alot of details. first of all, I live in Arizona and he lives in Texas so its a long term relationship and we've been together nearly a year and 4 months.

it starts in december, i decided to do a shady thing and started hanging out with a guy i liked at the time while i was still with my boyfriend. even though i did not do anything physical with him and knew it was wrong considering me and him had a relationship with different people, i decided to end the fling for my boyfriends sake and his girlfriend. i felt guilty about the situation and decided to tell my boyfriend about it. of course he did not take it well and lost trust for me. considering we where miles apart and the other guy lived here and went to school with me, he didnt have trust for me at all when i went out.

skipping 5 months later to may of this year,things have been getting rocky between me and boyfriend because of the situation that happened in december. i began to get distant from him because my grades began to slip and i needed to catch up but he didnt understand why i wasnt talking to him that much. we both got frustrated and i ended things, we tried being friends but i missed him more the days grew and i begged him to get back together but he always said no. its finally june and i cant be friends with him because i want to be with him and cant be friends with someone i love more then a friend. today he finally has admitted to finding someone else and that just broke me down and i decided not to speak to him anymore because i cant see him with someone else and i need time to forget my feelings for him to be friends with him again but he begged me to be friends with him and i told him no and he decided to remind me of what i did in december and told me thats what led him to do that.

is it fair that he wont give me a fair chance even though i had feelings for another guy that i never did anything physical with?

or

is it wrong on my part to not be friends with him even though he has another girl in his life

plz help me

u messed up BIG TIME

the relationship is over move on

[IzzyGrace]

^harsh? Reowr.

It sounds hard - but you did a right thing in the first place in December. You told him instead of kept it a secret - and he lost trust in you. Shouldn't he have thought of that fact that you cared enough to tell him you were just hanging with a guy you liked? Men can be blind sometimes.

Personally, I would never be able to stand a long distance relationship - too many things get in the way and little complications add up. You did a good thing by ending it, but you should talk to him. IMO, I'd want to be a guy's friend, even if I love him to death, than have him hate/distrust me because of a past relationship. Trust me.

So he's found another girl - you can find another guy. Perhaps light a few old flames, or make some new male friends. Even if the Texas guy has your heart, you can steal it back and give it to someone else. This isn't all going to heal and be jolly within a day or week, it's gonna take a while, but in the end, it oughta be worth it.

[queen]

is he really worth all that effort? it's not just your and his feelings that you're risking here. there's also his new girlfriend. he should move on, and so should you.

[shoryuken]

is he really worth all that effort? it's not just your and his feelings that you're risking here. there's also his new girlfriend. he should move on, and so should you.

nah... buttt princc ezz..