offensive world records |
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 May 31 2008, 09:02 AM
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#1
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 (′ ･ω･｀)  Group: Official Designer Posts: 6,179 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 72,477  |
Body: MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED: Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.
LONGEST PUBES: Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina. MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH: Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina. ZITS: In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7ft 1inch. WORST DRINK: The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac. MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL: This is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed,but served with a tampon(unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a '**** Pump'. GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN: Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a 'substantial' amount of seminal fluid. He also hold the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph. MOST EJACULATIONS IN AN HOUR: The most ejaculations for a man in one hour is 16. LONGEST TURD: The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American who, produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state. MOST PROLONGED FART: Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds |
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May 31 2008, 10:19 AM
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#2
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 AKA RockIt Studios Group: Official Member Posts: 2,286 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 421,809 |
uhm.
ew. i could have went without knowing this, but i guess it's my fault for reading. 
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May 31 2008, 10:50 AM
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#3
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 I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite :-) Group: Official Member Posts: 3,008 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 601,399 |
 i would never want to be recognised for doing something like that
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May 31 2008, 10:56 AM
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#4
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 AIDS at RAVES. Group: Official Designer Posts: 2,386 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 598,878 |
OMG LOL
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May 31 2008, 10:58 AM
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#5
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 James killed the radio star. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 2,095 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 589,855 |
That 'offensive' drink sounds really good. Just saying.
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| *paperplane* |
May 31 2008, 11:11 AM
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#6
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Guest |
You do mean the cocktail and not the semen, right?
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May 31 2008, 12:14 PM
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#7
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 Fellatio. Group: Official Member Posts: 2,122 Joined: Mar 2007 Member No: 511,775 |
QUOTE(doughnut @ May 31 2008, 10:02 AM)  .MOST PROLONGED FART: Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds Which type of fart was it? |
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May 31 2008, 12:35 PM
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#8
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 <joke> inside </joke> Group: Official Member Posts: 2,283 Joined: Oct 2006 Member No: 470,590 |
QUOTE(doughnut @ May 31 2008, 10:02 AM) MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH: Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina. did she have an orgasm? |
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May 31 2008, 12:50 PM
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#9
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 metalmouth hoee Group: Member Posts: 786 Joined: Aug 2007 Member No: 566,794 |
LMAO
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May 31 2008, 01:18 PM
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#10
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 ALLISON Group: Official Designer Posts: 3,372 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 310,259 |
& here I am about to eat my apple strudel. |
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May 31 2008, 01:39 PM
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#11
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 Naomi loves you. Y'all may call me NaNa Group: Official Designer Posts: 2,925 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 427,774 |
QUOTE(Bishinobi @ May 31 2008, 10:14 AM) Which type of fart was it? ^Hopefully it wasn't a silent one. Wow that's gross, these people pride themselves for this? |
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May 31 2008, 10:47 PM
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#12
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 Senior Member Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 3,071 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 41,748 |
Ew, haha they're funny but gross all at once.
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May 31 2008, 10:53 PM
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#13
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 mercenary on call Group: Member Posts: 926 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 447,606 |
lmao. They pumped her STOMACH!? wtf, could she not take it or something?
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May 31 2008, 11:13 PM
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#14
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 /人◕‿‿◕人\ Group: Official Member Posts: 8,283 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 602,927 |
QUOTE(The-March-Hare @ May 31 2008, 10:58 AM) That 'offensive' drink sounds really good. Just saying. If you're talking about the cocktail, I was just thinking the same thing. |
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Jun 1 2008, 12:28 AM
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#15
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 R U A Q T ? [; Group: Official Member Posts: 7,276 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 421,631 |
roflllll. nasty shit
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Jun 1 2008, 12:38 AM
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#16
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 cheeeesy like theres no tomorrow Group: Member Posts: 3,316 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 37,142 |
wow that was pretty nasty.
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Jun 1 2008, 11:56 AM
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#17
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James killed the radio star. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 2,095 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 589,855 |
QUOTE(paperplane @ May 31 2008, 05:11 PM) You do mean the cocktail and not the semen, right? Yeah. Semen would not be a fun beverage. |
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Jun 1 2008, 01:23 PM
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#18
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 Senior Member Group: Head Staff Posts: 18,173 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 108,478 |
The football thing is so disturbing...
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Jun 1 2008, 03:01 PM
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#19
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I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite :-) Group: Official Member Posts: 3,008 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 601,399 |
QUOTE(SilentLaugh @ May 31 2008, 01:35 PM) did she have an orgasm? good question
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