Stepsons banned from dating until they are 17 Options

[dannyt]

My stepsons step sons are banned from dating until they are over the age of 17. If I were to permit them from dating I'm convinced they would become sexual active.

[misoshiru]

you mean, from dating each other? amirite




there are ways to be sexually active without dating.

[Comptine]

What is with you? You list your age as 28. And in a previous topic, you list their ages to be 12 (at the very least).

Lol. Just cause they can't date doesn't mean they won't have sex. Or date behind your back.

[Heathasm]

are u like some kind of pedo trying to lure young azn bois to ur threads to talk about sex w/u or something

[fameONE]

Do you believe sheltering your children is condusive to their social/interactive development? If you believe that, then you're sadly mistakened. Simply placing that restriction over their heads will cause them to act out of spite, instead of teaching them as much as you can about the world, and how to conduct themselves as respectful (and respectable) adults. What is your justification?

[*yrrnotelekktric*]

are u like some kind of pedo trying to lure young azn bois to ur threads to talk about sex w/u or something

wait, banned by you? either way, they`re gonna do the nasty (probably) eventually.

[transcendentalis...]

moved to relationships

[misoshiru]

Do you believe sheltering your children is condusive to their social/interactive development? If you believe that, then you're sadly mistakened. Simply placing that restriction over their heads will cause them to act out of spite, instead of teaching them as much as you can about the world, and how to conduct themselves as respectful (and respectable) adults. What is your justification?

they're banned from dating each other till they're 17.

[DoubleJ]

I am sorry, but what jurisdiction do you have over somebody else's kids? I don't listen to my moms husband, and that is just that. I am not trying to sound like an ass or anything, but if you are not the biological father, then you should leave it to the mom to make decisions.

[misoshiru]

JAVONN, NO BUTTSECKS TILL THEY'RE 17.

[DoubleJ]

LMAO, ok Yan, but only because you said so!

[dannyt]

I have other posts coming that are not about sex and corporal punishment. I have only made a few posts. If I had made a lot about those subjects then yes its concerning.

Excluding the resposes that I've made to my posts, I've only posted two topics
that are about sex and corporal punishment. That does not make me a pervert.
More posts are coming and they about other topics.

The first topic gave me an idea for the second. And it's not me who's being sick.


I wasn't the one who said " JAVONN, NO BUTTSECKS TILL THEY'RE 17 "

And no not with each other as they are brothers and that's just wrong.

[fameONE]

You posted seeking advice, I asked you a question, following some commentary on your post, based on my perspective. Answer my question.

[michellerrific]

Um. No one said they were gonna start screwing all over the place as soon as they started dating, unless it's obvious they've proven to have that repetition already. I say loosen up a tad but it's not up to me to control your step kids.

[dannyt]

Sorry. Here's my answer to your question.

We're a christian family and believe sex outside of marriage is wrong. Daniel and
Rory understand and they actually believe that sex should be between a loving couple.

They don't want the temptation. I can't take the tempatation away but I can make it
more easy for them to choice the right path.

I love them and I want them to live a good christian life. It does sound harsh but
I believe that it's the right thing to do.

[*paperplane*]

If they really don't want the temptation, they'll avoid it on their own. Imposing an arbitrary limit on their dating will make absolutely no difference. The temptation of sex will more than likely only get stronger if they wait until they're 17, because by that point more girls would be willing to sleep with them. Not to mention that being told not to date doesn't mean they'll lust any less. If it's really their values, they can handle them themselves. If they aren't, well, they're getting to be the age where you can't just impose your views upon them and expect them to buy into it.

Did you wait until marriage to have sex?

[S-Majere]

Sorry. Here's my answer to your question.

We're a christian family and believe sex outside of marriage is wrong. Daniel and
Rory understand and they actually believe that sex should be between a loving couple.

They don't want the temptation. I can't take the tempatation away but I can make it
more easy for them to choice the right path.

I love them and I want them to live a good christian life. It does sound harsh but
I believe that it's the right thing to do.

Which is the flaw of every single religion.

You cannot force your step-sons to be "good" Christians. You can lead by example, express your opinions and let them know your view that sex should be between a loving couple, but you simply cannot ban them from learning all this by themselves. You can't keep teenagers from their desires, urges and inane curiousity in the name of religion and your own beliefs.

Marriage: The self-sacrifice of the woman on the altar of what she was pleased to call her principles. (Jude the Obscure)

[kimmytree]

Sheltering them and not allowing them to do things is just going to make them rebel even more. My parents made that mistake with me.

[illriginal]

My stepsons step sons are banned from dating until they are over the age of 17. If I were to permit them from dating I'm convinced they would become sexual active.

In a sense it is perfectly fine what you're doing. People should be responsible, if you caught your stepson having sexual relations at a young age, then it is perfectly and responsibly right to not tolerate dating at a young age until you feel their mentally mature.

I for one will not let my kids date until they're out of high school and probably college. In my opinion, children, teens, and young adults should concentrate on school and school only. Once completed with education, then they can live their lives how ever they want as long as they're successful.

Sheltering them and not allowing them to do things is just going to make them rebel even more. My parents made that mistake with me.

That's when you send them to another country to live with your family to finish their education there. Rebelling should not be tolerated either.

:P


P.S. I know I know... you white people and Americanized folks are gonna disagree. But my people don't follow those principles.

[kimmytree]

I for one will not let my kids date until they're out of high school and probably college. In my opinion, children, teens, and young adults should concentrate on school and school only. Once completed with education, then they can live their lives how ever they want as long as they're successful.

College... are you serious? I dont know what country you are in, but over here once a child turns 18, they're considered an adult and can do whatever they wish. At that point, parents have no control unless the child decides to give it to them, like I'm doing.

[illriginal]

College... are you serious? I dont know what country you are in, but over here once a child turns 18, they're considered an adult and can do whatever they wish. At that point, parents have no control unless the child decides to give it to them, like I'm doing.

Not under my roof.. trust that. If my child disrespected my honor as a parent with proper parenting skills, then I shall send them to a private school in either Italy or Dominican Republic.

My little cousin, Lisa (18 next month) who I'm so proud of, only has school buddies. She's never dated nor is she currently dating. Lisa in 8th grade already had Duke University looking over her and sending mail to my aunt/uncle about how they want to put her in a high school/university program. They declined it. Now my lil cousin Lisa, who's taking all AP courses (not even ONE elective) in her senior year is literally making AP classes look like child's play. For example... she's in calculus, and she created a calculus equation that in fact does exist already but it is used in terms of firing missiles from planet earth to outer space.


And do you know why?... Because her parents (my favorite uncle and my aunt) brought her up with proper parenting skills. Never has she rebelled, she listens to her elders, never has she cursed... at least not around the family nor at home. In fact she finds cursing to be the worst type of language in any language because it shows lack of educated vocabulary. Hell she even does the cleaning, laundry, babysitting of her lil brother, the dishes, and a bit of cooking in the house.


This to me... is the perfect child. And I give a lot of respect for a pair of parents like my uncle and aunt to bring up children into this world full of crooked, immoral, and disgusting human beings.

And if I had to, I'd move to another country, OUT of the U.S.A. just so I can bring up my children properly.

Rebel for the loss... no matter what. Parent > child.

[Comptine]

^Don't blame a country for your lack of parenting skills. If you can't instill your child with good enough skills to stand on his/her two feet, don't blame the country that's providing you and your family with freedom and a place to be. If you think your parenting skills will be maximized in another country, give it a go.

I love my parents and they had rules for me growing up that I didn't like but now I appreciate them and love them unconditionally for what they have done for me. I don't do stupid stuff because they gave me the lessons and skills I need to be my own person.

Your aunt and uncle are probably great parents. And she sounds like a really smart girl. But, you seem really jaded about how GREAT controlling parents can be. My parents and all their parent friends all agree: children will rebel and you'll need to make the right decisions to not make them hate you. Your cousin might be a great kid but she definitely had disagreements with her parents about some of their rules.

[illriginal]

^Don't blame a country for your lack of parenting skills. If you can't instill your child with good enough skills to stand on his/her two feet, don't blame the country that's providing you and your family with freedom and a place to be. If you think your parenting skills will be maximized in another country, give it a go.

I love my parents and they had rules for me growing up that I didn't like but now I appreciate them and love them unconditionally for what they have done for me. I don't do stupid stuff because they gave me the lessons and skills I need to be my own person.

Your aunt and uncle are probably great parents. And she sounds like a really smart girl. But, you seem really jaded about how GREAT controlling parents can be. My parents and all their parent friends all agree: children will rebel and you'll need to make the right decisions to not make them hate you. Your cousin might be a great kid but she definitely had disagreements with her parents about some of their rules.

You gotta understand, it's a psychological thing. When you spoil a child, when you give a child a treat or toys because they misbehave (the American way), all you're doin is mentally conditioning/programming a child's mind into believing that the parents owe them something no matter what the circumstances are.

Parents now a days are too soft... I see a lot of the wrongs in parents' parenting skills, even my mother's. She spoiled me into a brat and I grew up rebelling, hell I even called my mother a bitch (of course she had my uncle come over and yell at me into oblivion for disrespecting my mother's honor). I learned from my rebelling and my mother's parenting skills and realized all the wrong things she's done. I told her she was too soft with me and spoiled/rewarded me for many wrong things.

And the problem of today is... the fact that parents are too soft, they're either too young, too old, too weak, uneducated, immature, irresponsible etc... there's a lot of elements in todays world (that didn't really exist back before the 1960s) that has caused this sort of mental/parental evolution. Causing a rotting generation after generation.


As far as blaming a country? I can compare my tiny lil country of Italy or Dominican Republic to U.S.A. and my country outweighs the U.S.A in morals, parenting skills, and education.

[Comptine]

You don't have to spoil your child. Once again, it is about YOUR parenting skills. Not other parents. Their kids might come out messed up but if you do it the right way, you kids wouldn't.

Morals, parenting skills, and education? If you compare any country to USA, you'll find GOOD and BAD stuff. You go to the DR or Italy, the drinking age is younger. Would you be alright with your kids drinking earlier than they would here? America's educational system isn't perfect but it's pretty damn good. No matter who you are or how much money you make, there's a school somewhere that would offer you education. The United States has a higher literacy rate than both Italy and the DR.

Morals and parenting skills depend on YOU. Not the country. If you don't give your children the right lessons, no matter where you are, even if it's in your own isolated island, your kids will still be brats.

[misoshiru]

dating does not equal bad grades. When I was in highschool, it was the smartest kids who dated around.