family is slowly dying ... Options

[demolished]

When I was little, i had nothing to worry about death at all. Death was never my thing and my family was young as well.

As i grew older, i felt closer to death. I’m slowly becoming afraid of death and not being able to maintain a quality life. I’m afraid of becoming old with aging skin, saggy eyelids, fine lines, cease, and premature wrinkles. Besides that, I’m afraid of disease and illness. It reminds me so much about growing older to die.

Today, I realize ... someone is going to die soon. I have this intuition that I’m going to died by the age 30 when I’m 17 right now.

My mom had so much illness. Her bones are so weak and painful, have allergy, asthma, and ... has breast cancer. I’m really afraid of my mom's not living a quality life. I’m so depress over the thought that she might not be there by the time I graduate from college. At the same time, she’s seemed to take so many pills. My mom is not educated and never went to school in her entire life. Of course she would do something strange.

My sister found out that she has CF. I did research on that illness. Generally, people get to live up to 30-35ish. She is 25/26 right now.

My other sister makes me worry as well. She doesn’t live with the family anymore. She moves out. I know she eats out too much. She’s frustrated about her weight and worry about how she's getting so much fatter. I guess my sister isn’t well-inform about diet at all. She also takes pills which WORRYS ME ALOT. if do not know what it is. She’s taking colorful pills which scare the heck out of me. the color makes me think of serious illness.

My dad is a smoker and has extremely dark skin. I’m concern about his skin and his risk of skin cancer. He’s on his 50s already. I don’t know how much longer he will live since he's a smoker, drinker, and does not eat properly.







What are you afraid of people growing up with problems?