a poem, crtique it please? |
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 Feb 26 2008, 07:58 PM
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#1
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 Newbie  Group: Member Posts: 6 Joined: Apr 2007 Member No: 514,601  |
Trapped in a box
Not out of the ordinary Surrounded by luxuries How can this be? These things, they mean nothing Nothing to me He meant the most I have nothing to do Trapped in a box I feel anger Not mine The tension is silent As sad as my heart But he won’t turn around I have nothing to do Trapped in a box It hurts Passion’s gone But I can’t regret it They deserved what they got It all started out With an innocent kiss And the thought in my mind I have nothing to do i havent written much in a while nd im thinking of entering it in a contest. some feedback would be great |
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| *yrrnotelekktric* |
Mar 8 2008, 03:42 PM
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#2
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Guest |
i like it, but is there a title to it?
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Mar 8 2008, 03:43 PM
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#3
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 Hablamos Español. Group: Official Member Posts: 1,283 Joined: Jul 2007 Member No: 549,364 |
 its beautiful.but gosh it gives me the willies. the thought of this happening to me makes me wanna shank myself. 
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