Should single people be allowed to post in relationship threads? Options

[superstitious]

if you were really that observant, you would be able to see a good match for you.

I'm afraid that is not always the case, unfortunately. A good match, a REALLY good match takes a great deal of time sometimes. Often, you won't even realize it's a good match until much later, especially if it's a relationship that has evolved from a platonic friendship.

[dustbunny]

There are some basic advice that is understandable. Like about communication. There are other things that do piss me off.

Like teenagers that tell other teenagers that their high school romance isn't real love. and that teenagers don't know the meaning of real love. which is really rich considering it's teenagers giving the advice.

i hate people who respond by... "i'm very observant. i can tell what makes a relationship work. blah blah..."

if you were really that observant, you would be able to see a good match for you.

LOL are you kidding, it has nothing to do with being observant, it's about, as REB just stated above, TIME and the RIGHT person. if the right person isn't even f**king there, your being observant or not has nothing to do with anything.


and it sounds like you're just bitter about teenagers spouting off relationship advice because you've been in one where I guess maybe other teens kept putting you down about it. this is just an assumption so if i'm wrong, my bad, but don't get so generalizey about it, there are plenty of teenagers out there who know what they're talking about. whether or not someone's advice is worthy of listening to or following, depends on their own experiences, one teen may be tons more experienced in this subject than another, so just take it case by case.

another thing about the "real love," oftentimes, people who are outside of relationships are the ones that can see things the most clearly; this isn't about the actual topic of whether someone's love is real, moreso about accepting different perspectives.

[transcendentalis...]

^to add on, to say someone's love is definitely real would be assigning a concrete definition to the word love, which is something i'd currently have a wild party about.

i do agree with her point that sometimes the person outside of the relationship (aka third party) can see things most objectively. however you also have to take into consideration that the third party might just be a horrid cynic... or realist, or romantic.

which makes me wish life was dictated a little bit more by calculations and logic. EXCEPT that = more physics, = fail

[me1issaaaa]

Good point.

Hmm, I guess as long as it's common sense... I don't see any harm in it.

[Joss-eh-lime]

relationships =/= boyfriend&girlfriend only

a relationship can be between any two or people.
brother, sister, dad, mom, neighbor, friend.

can't ban us from trying to help!

[Tung]

relationships =/= boyfriend&girlfriend only

a relationship can be between any two or people.
brother, sister, dad, mom, neighbor, friend.

can't ban us from trying to help!

Oh of course I know that, but sorry if I wasn't clear about it first, but I'm targeting the threads about romantic relationship problems, and not the friendship or family relationships.

[transcendentalis...]

haha, i don't think tung was implying that single people were going to be "banned" from the relationships forum. besides, what would the point be? the internet's full of lies anyway.

i will say that i would be extremely skeptical of getting advice from a single person though, unless i knew them well enough to know they really did think things through.

[michellerrific]

Tung, that's actually a good point. I wouldn't have thought of it that way. But then again, in some instances, some people may have really good ideas to solve a problem. Besides, not every topic in Relationships has to do with bf/gf. There could be topics involving parents or friends. And also, not everyone has had the best relationship experiences and will know how answer one's question.

[Tung]

Besides, not every topic in Relationships has to do with bf/gf. There could be topics involving parents or friends.

Oh of course I know that, but sorry if I wasn't clear about it first, but I'm targeting the threads about romantic relationship problems, and not the friendship or family relationships.

C'mon people, at least look at the replies before posting.

[malimars]

single people should defiently be allowed to post in relationship threads , dont mean anything if they never been in a relationship maybe they just dont wanna they get enough experience just seeing and observing others relationships ...& its just our opinions that people are stating to the ones asking for advice anyways , if anything people shouldnt be making those lame fake titles in the relationship colum " is it ok to stick my penis in my mom" and that kinda shit lmao but thats a whole other topic but just an example!!

[Comptine]

You can't be a teenager and tell another teenager that their definition or emotion of love is wrong.

I don't give a crap if you're a way mature teenager or super sleuth: no matter how observant you are, if you've never been in a relationship, you have no right to correct or critique others'. okay, if the boyfriend is abusive, you have common sense to back up on. however, if it's just your girlfriend being confused and you have no experience under your belt, you can only repeat what you THINK is love/relationship. If you've never been in a serious relationship or even in one, you are about as knowledgeable as any of your peers, even if you surveillance them 24/7.

what i meant my being observant is that single non relationship people like to go, "Look for this in a guy." or "look for that." or "do this" all because "i'm really observant and i see all these different relationships so i can like you know create a wikipedia all of it."

if you are that observant to see the kinks and inner workings of relationships, without actually risking being in a relationship, you could formulate the right way to make a relationship or pick a guy to be with.

In the end, me and you know the same amount of shit about love and relationships.

[dustbunny]

first of all, no where did I say that someone else's definition of love was wrong.

second of all, I specifically mentioned how being observant has absolutely NOTHING to do with anything.

thirdly, maturity does factor in. you think some retarded kid is gonna spit the same kinda shit I would spit about relationships to my friends? I hate to bring myself into this, but honestly I do know a lot more about relationships than the average teen. why? because my friends have been in shitloads of relationships, and I experienced basically everything they did. of course, I obviously lack the emotions, but that doesn't mean I can't spit meaningful advice that someone only outside of the relationship unhindered by love and completely detached and lucid could see. additionally, I can use my own experiences as well, so just because I haven't been in an "official" relationship, it doesn't means shit if I've been through the same f**king thing emotionally.

finally, I emphasized on PERSPECTIVE, so get it straight, no one is trying to undermine your LOVE okay?


/edit. I realize your post might not have been directed towards me, but I basically replied as if you had.

[Comptine]

I wasn't aiming it at you. 'You' was aimed at all my single, unexperienced peers who think sitting back and watching is adequate enough to be a relationship guru.

Yes, it has annoyed me personally but as a whole, those people are just very annoying in general. And sometimes, very bad for people.

I'm part of Peer Health Exchange. I teach a workshop on how to maintain health relationships and the communication techniques to keep them healthy. I know the statistics and science behind healthy and abusive relationships. I've been in a 3 year relationship, nearing 4.

I don't know any more than the person next to me. Which is why it's a touchy subject for me about single, unexperienced people saying they do know something about relationships just by observing.

I never answered the question: Single people can post in the relationship forum. Free forum. Do what you will. But I will call shit out.

[MissFits]

I don't know. I don't think that people that have never been in a relationship should give advice about them, like people that have never been in war should give advice to soldiers about what to do.

But, if you have been in relationships just because you aren't in one at the moment doesn't mean you don't know what you are talking about. I get the best relationship advice from a guy I know that is single right now, that doesn't mean he doesn't know about relationships, though. He is the most knowledgeable person I know when it comes to relationships.

[S-Majere]

Indeedy, sometimes single people have a better perspective on events than those that are in relationships have. True, they may not have the experience to back up their advice, but I don't think it makes their ideas any less viable. We all know that respect and communication are key; and we each have some idea as to how a relationship should be and what it should - and shouldn't - involve.

[iiTsDAYNA]

Thats like saying white people shouldn't contribute advice to black people's issues, just because they're not black.
Just because they're not in a relationship doesn't mean they don't know what's going on. Sometimes single people give the best advice.

[AimeeLynn]

I really don't think that they should. Because how would they know what your going through. Maybe if they were in a relationship is another story. But if they haven't experience anything than that is a no.

[PrideOfAzia]

i like chicken <3

[JokeInsideJoke]

Thats like saying white people shouldn't contribute advice to black people's issues, just because they're not black.
Just because they're not in a relationship doesn't mean they don't know what's going on. Sometimes single people give the best advice.

ditto

i like chicken <3

wtf?

[Joss-eh-lime]

I think people who try to offer advice on ANY topic, but have never experienced the problem, or has never been close to someone with a problem won't be able to give advice from a "been there, done that" standpoint.

but this is true for any subject, and as inexperienced as some may be, really good advice can come from them.

its true!

[transcendentalis...]

wtf?

you don't get it because you're single, DUH

i think betty and s-majere put it very nicely.

[AimeeLynn]

^HAHAHA I know really right? Jezze.

[Castaway]

yeah they should. You just need to know what to take in and what to leave out, which is what i tell my friends if i refer them to this forum.

[X_merky]

I believe it's one of those things where it is easier to tell others what you think and how they can solve their problems, than to actually figure it out for yourself when you have a problem on your own.
I think this holds true to anyone, IMO. It doesn't even have to be relationship advice.
I agree with your mindset that I would much rather take advice from, per say, someone who has had a few boyfriends/girlfriends, than someone who just started dating and is new to everything and is barely just figuring out some of the stuff on their own.

[Tung]

ditto
wtf?

Does your posts ever consist of more than one word?