I am in a relationship but I still love my EX who is not good for me!, Confused Options

[freakygurl811]

Hi There!

I am currently so down and confused in the situation I am tight now. So lets get started with the cause of my confusion.

I am German but lived in the Philippines for the past 14 years. While I was there I met a guy who is a DJ by profession. The first time I saw him I immediatley liked him, but he didn't because he had already a finace that was in another country. Our raltionship started like a fling, but we were good friends though. More like a "Pseudo relationship" until one day my feelings grew stronger and stronger for him and I made him choose between me and his fiance. Gladly he chose me and we moved-in in one house and stayed there together for 8 months. I was the one providing all his financial needs, food, clothes, cellphone just everything because he stopped working. I realized that this man is no good for my future because aside from he's not working he is also a real Gangster!

Now, Before I met this DJ I already met a Algerian guy in the internet and we also fell in love with each other though we havn't met personally. But when I met the DJ I forgot about the Algerian, since the DJ was half Philipino half Algerian too. (what a coincedence. lol)
I always promised the Algerian guy that once I am in Germany I am gonna visit him.

When I arrived here in Germany 7 months ago, my relationship was already on the rocks with the DJ. And I started chatting again with the Algerian guy, because I really needed to forget the DJ eventhough I still love him.

My feelings for the Algerian guy came back. So I went to Algeria to meet him personally. Everything was so fine and we love each other. Therefore, I broke up with the DJ.

Everyday he has been trying to contact me but I had to ignore him. But time to time I would still call him just to ask if he was doing good.

Until our communication ended for almost one month, until I received a text message from him saying that he wants me back and that he misses me. The next day I saw him performing live in youtube...and wow my feeling for him came all of a sudden back. I called him and we both cried on the phone.

After our conversation, I said to my self No! I can't continue my relationship with him because I plan to marry this Algerian guy soon. The next day I saw in a intersite pictures of him and another girl sweet together. It broke my heart and I've been crying all night eversince.

My feelings are like this...

I like the Algerian guy but I dont love him that much.

I love the DJ but I totally dislike him.

I hope you guys could help me because I am totally down.

[S-Majere]

Take a massive step back from all this for a moment.

You don't love either one of these guys - only when you're in competition with another girl do you seem to view these men as a challenge.

Stay single; it may seem hard right now but it's the best thing to do and will put your priorities in order.

[libertie]

First of all, welcome to CB! I'm surprised that in your first post, you've opened up quite a bit, but I suppose this isn't the first time this has happened.

If I'm being completely honest, it doesn't sound like you should be with either of these men. One of them isn't good for you, and if you don't love the other one enough now, you'll never be able to make it work. It sounds like you've already made your decision.

[icecreamisyummy]

im sorta goign through the same thing right now, cept the guy im in love with is the one i met online like 5 yrs ago and the one im with lives 1000miles away from me but weve known each other for almost 2 years. the one im in love with wants me back and im just starting to think that i should just stay with the one im with right now cuz he treats me better and wants the best for me no matter what happens to him. he thinks about me before thinking about himself. he really does love me it just sucks that i dont love him back....atleast not yet.

but this is when you think to your self, do you pick the one you love but doesnt necesarily make you happy or the one that will do absolutely anything for you and treats you like a queen, but you dont exactly love him back.

i think i rather go with someone who will treat me better, because i know that in time, the feelings will grow. sure theyll never be anything like the ones i have for the one i love, but what are you gonna do.

everythign i worte is prolly all ocnfusing. sorry if you need me to cear something up ill do so

[MissHygienic]

Wow, you sure love using the word, "love." Whatever history happened between you and the DJ should be forgotten and over with. I don't know how old you are, but honestly, you sound a little naive and immature. Just because he's on YouTube performing and people appear to love him doesn't mean that you still love him, or that you ever loved him. Or because you saw him with another girl.

As S-Majere said, you need to take a step back from your own emotions and the whole, "now that he's done this, I think I still like him" business. It's not healthy, and you are only deluding yourself into thinking that he's still worth your time. You guys broke up for a reason, and this relationship with the DJ probably won't last a second time.

[tokyo-rose]

I agree with the posts that say not to go back to either of them. Neither of them treat you the way you deserve to be treated. End things with both of them -- that means don't go back to the DJ, either. He might be begging to have you back now, but what if he mistreats you again? You're better off with someone else.

[BeetleFan]

just know you're not the only one that has gone through this and wont be the last. this happens to a lot of women, and this is where we gather our character from. just keep doing the next right thing.

[EddieV]

Too long to read.

[icecreamisyummy]

she says she loves 2 guys and doesnt know which one to choose.

i posted a similar story, but i only love one of them.

[omgomgKATHY]

Im pretty sure you dont love either guys, maybe you have feelings for them, but not love. I doubt it.

and I also agree with what mostly everyone has been saying, relax. Maybe being single is the best thing foy you now.

[MissFits]

Like everyone else says you don't love either of them.

WHATEVER YOU DO DO NOT MARRY THAT MAN.

[ReggieM]

DILDO.

[freakygurl811]

[size="2"][/size]

Hi Guys! Thanks for all your advises. Most of you say I shouldn't choose either of them. But If I leave the Algerian I would also break his heart. He already enrolled in a German school because without any Germany knowledge he won't be able to stay with me here. If I let go of the Algerian I would I think I wouild be the dumbest woman on earth. He is the best person I ever knew, he trats me like a Queen to.

If I try to be single I think it would make me feel more alone. I already feel alone here in Germany and have no friends, because I left all my friends in the Philippines. The only person who makes me feel loved at the moment is the Algerian.

I am thinking If I give the Algerian a chance my love for him might grow. Maybe my love for him doesnt grow because we only spent 7 days tigether.

I know I should forget the DJ, but I just can't. He appears every night together with his girl in my dreams. And this is affecting my work.