to break up with boyfriend?, or to not? |
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 Jan 6 2008, 05:09 PM
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#1
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Newbie  Group: Member Posts: 2 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 601,114  |
Hi, I hope everyone will be patient and read this because I seriously don't know what to do. I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and everything was alright except lately it has just been very dull but I didn't necessarily lost my feelings for him. He doesn't go to my school (we're in high school) and I only see him probably 2x a week.
Last week, I met another guy from my school outside of school, just to hang out. (I knew him since 2 years ago). And it was cool, and I thought I was starting to have feelings for him. After a while, he told me he liked me and he kissed me. So now..I am debating whether to break up with my boyfriend or not. I was really going to but when we discussed it I started crying. I don't plan on telling him about the part where I cheated. He told me that it was my choice if I wanted to. He's really sweet and funny. And I'm scared that I will regret it. But at the same time I don't feel like I deserve him anymore since..yeah. If I do break up with him, I plan on staying single. Thanks... |
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Jan 6 2008, 05:11 PM
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#2
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 sleep now, moon Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 2,540 Joined: May 2007 Member No: 526,212 |
why would you break up with him again?
if you really feel like you don't deserve to be with him anymore, you really should just talk it over with him. don't leave out that you cheated... honesty is big, even in friendships. do you have feelings for this other dude or not? |
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Jan 6 2008, 05:12 PM
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#3
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,586 Joined: Jun 2007 Member No: 531,256 |
Tell him you cheated and then let him decide.
I think that's pretty fair. No one wants a relationship built on lies. |
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Jan 6 2008, 05:14 PM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Head Staff Posts: 18,173 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 108,478 |
Why don't you talk to your boyfriend about reinvigorating your relationship instead? It isn't worth it to break up just because things feel dull right now; that's bound to happen when you've been dating for so long. But if you try to make things fun again and it doesn't work, then discuss a breakup again.
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Jan 6 2008, 05:16 PM
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#5
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 2 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 601,114 |
I have feelings for the other guy too. I don't know if I love my boyfriend anymore, but I was thinking maybe I do since...while I was trying to break up I was crying a lot..
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Jan 6 2008, 05:19 PM
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#6
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sleep now, moon Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 2,540 Joined: May 2007 Member No: 526,212 |
showing emotion doesn't necessarily constitute love.
are you sure that these feelings aren't just a passing fancy sort of thing? it's controllable, i promise. |
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Jan 6 2008, 05:26 PM
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#7
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,586 Joined: Jun 2007 Member No: 531,256 |
QUOTE(juliette @ Jan 6 2008, 07:16 PM)  I have feelings for the other guy too. I don't know if I love my boyfriend anymore, but I was thinking maybe I do since...while I was trying to break up I was crying a lot.. I cried when I broke up with a guy I KNEW I didn't care about. Breaking up is lame even if you know it's what you want. |
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Jan 6 2008, 05:38 PM
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#8
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 We're in for one wild night. Group: Member Posts: 402 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 603,255 |
This exact same situation happened to me in a previous relationship, I was the guy in this case. It's not a good feeling to have knowing something is going on with your GF that you don't know about, regardless whether he says "It's okay take you're time" or "WTF tell me now." Guarentee he's thinking about it and it's probably eating at him.
The best thing you can do is tell him what you did, instead of causing possible extensive pain in the future. Which if you continue keeping it a secret, will happen. Yeah, PcE |
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Jan 6 2008, 07:08 PM
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#9
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 114 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 598,863 |
This is the same dilemma that my girlfriend had with me however, she failed to tell me the whole truth. I personally think that you should tell him the truth because things can get much worse if he finds out you lied to him and he will be CRUSHED.
I really don't believe in the saying, "i don't deserve him anymore", I think it's a bunch of BS |
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Jan 7 2008, 01:27 AM
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#10
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We're in for one wild night. Group: Member Posts: 402 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 603,255 |
QUOTE(Edwinbarkhordarian @ Jan 6 2008, 07:08 PM) This is the same dilemma that my girlfriend had with me however, she failed to tell me the whole truth. I personally think that you should tell him the truth because things can get much worse if he finds out you lied to him and he will be CRUSHED. I really don't believe in the saying, "i don't deserve him anymore", I think it's a bunch of BS Amen. |
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Jan 7 2008, 06:39 PM
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#11
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Member Group: Ask Alice Posts: 26 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 601,954 |
Definitely don't just end it on the spot because you're interested in this other guy. It's natural for people to be interested in others when their attention is vested in a long relationship. The new person is exciting. But think about your actual happiness in the relationship, not your level of boredom. Does your boyfriend really make you happy? Has the relationship made you a better person?
You should tell him about what happened, and see if he has any advice of his own. He probably knows you better than anyone else. |
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