grieving Options

[deplorable]

i apologize, i am not normally one to ask advice from anonymous internet users, buy tomorrow it will be 4 yrs since my mother passed from breast cancer.i thought i could handle it, but this year feels especially hard. i feel like im spiraling in and out of reality and dreamland.

can anyone please give me some advice on how to handle this better... i can't let my family down right now.

thank you.

[Smarmosaur]

if you can't let your family down, talk to them about it.
that's the best thing you can do right now. allow yourself some alone time, too.

[kawaiiPANDA]

What do you mean.. let your family down?
It is normal to grieve and be sad, you can't help it.
Just think of it as a time to remember all the good memories about your mother, I don't think she would want you to be sad and grieving.
Like what RockItStudios said, talk to them. You probably all feel the same way about the situation.

[jaeman]

Also, some people try to find things that entertain them a lot, especially sports and other physical activities.

Hope that helps, I apologize if it doesn't.

[superstitious]

Why do you think that this year is particularly more difficult to grieve than others? Is there something happening in your life right now that keeps reminding you of your mother?

I know that even though my mother and I have less than an ideal relationship, I'll think of her everyday after she passes. I know I feel that way about my grandmother (she's been dead for several years), who basically raised me. The only time it seems that I feel more sad about her is when something significant is happening in my life and I want so badly for her to be a part of it.

Sometimes what helps is to do something they would enjoy. Also, the winter season does bring out a bit of melancholy in some people. Not a big help, but it does happen. Get some fresh air, go for a walk every day. It's little, but helps some.

Talking with friends and family is great medicine as well. Perhaps someone else in your family is going through the same thing. It's possible to help someone else through their grieving process while helping yourself with your own.

[lilinoe07]

Grieving is a long and hard process. I lost a former classmate to suicide, and that just left everyone with alot of different emotions. For me to be able to move on, I talked to my friends about it and we all just let out everything. We talked about our classmate and the memories we had with him. Talking about it with people you are comfortable with, can sometimes help with the grieving process. Just never hold anything in; lots of emotions just build up inside.

[deplorable]

this year i feel guilty.
more guilty at last.
the last time i saw my mom was on christmas and the last thing i said to her was something mean and uncalled for. but it was a lot... she'd been in hospital for 9 straight months.

i feel like the worst daughter imaginable.

and i cant talk to my family. my dad has sad syndrome with... well... suicidal/violent tendencies. i feel like i need to make today run smoothly... to avoid..err. unpleasantness?

[MissFits]

I can't say I knwo exactly how you feel because everyone grieves differently, but I know what it's like to lose a parent and regret the way you treated them while they were alive.
It's one of the worst feelings in the world.
I also know what it feels like to have to stay strong for your family, when my dad died I had to raise my sisters on my own for a while while my mom battled a crack addiction.

It's hard and some times are harder than others, but it won't kill you. It really helps me to lock myself in a room alone and write him a letter telling him everything I am thinking while I cry my eyes out.
Someday I will take the letters to his gravesite and bury them, I know I am not ready to do that just yet.
You could also go to a trusted adult at school (like a counselor), or your close friends and talk to them. They may or may not understand but I am sure they would be more than willing to listen.

I'm here if you need to talk