im feeling very open right now so... Options

[JCLore]

sorry this is so long but if you dont know all
you wont understand completely

I spent most of my childhood trying to blend in with people
i've constantly changed my appearence and personality to fit in
but i've never been successful in making a good true friend
i've had a best friend at points but it lasts about 2 years and then its over

i was a loner at the end of year 8
nobody wanted to talk to me or anything
in year 9 i started home education
which meant i had no contact with any other beings but family
im now in year 11 going 12
and all i have is online friends
and even those are few

i joined the Australian Air Force Cadets a while back
but all the people in the recruit area are 3 years younger than me
there fun and good friends but i think i need to make friends my age

im now going to a youth group and enjoying it
my closest cousin "Desiree" goes and has helped by introducing me to her friends
there great and my age and older, which is a bonus
i went to school with one of them but he hates me i think

My main point is that i feel intrusive into desirees life and i hate making people feel uncomfortable
any advice on what i should do would be greatly appreciated??

[S-Majere]

Be yourself. That's the best advice anyone will ever give you.

[JCLore]

this is gonna sound really corny
but...
because ive changed so much just to fit in
i dont know how to be myself

[oXMuhNirvanaXo]

Well, If you don't know who your self is sit down and type all the things that you like and how you feel about some things and just stick to that because that is who you are. I am pretty sure that you will find a good friend. If you need somebody to talk to I quess you could contact me. I am always here. Lol. How sad.

[DoubleJ]

I am going through kind of the same thing so I totally understand. You change so much to please people that you lose your own identity and who you really are as a person. The best advice I could give is just to take some time away from it all and do what makes you happy. I am going to start doing that because I believe that I am totally lost and have no self identity at this point. You just need to focus on the things that make you happy and you will be able to hopefully gain some sort of self worth from that process. It is going to take some time, but in the long run it will do a lot of good to just stop trying to be in the mix of everything. Hopefully these small words can help in some sense.

[MissHygienic]

Actually, I would like to correct a few things. There are some things you can change, and there are other things you can't. Your opinions and your beliefs are likely structured around the environment in which you grew up. So can your appearance; all of our appearances do. However, your personality has likely not been "changed," you just force your image to be drastically different in the eyes of the public.

You can be "yourself," but that's ambiguous and essentially worthless if you feel as if you don't know who you are, so there's no possible way to do this. I wouldn't get too hung up on the age group because I get along with people older than I am than those who are younger. I don't know if you'll even come back to read this, but if I were you, stop trying to force a fake image around others and, like, let loose. I mean, are you even getting friends that way?

And if she's willing to help you and introduce you to her friends, let her? Be comfortable with yourself before you start worrying about making others feel comfortable. If you're comfortable and not all, "ehh" about everything, you'll influence those around you to feel good being with you, too.

[EddieV]

Be yourself, but improve on your faults.

[ChangeofHeart]

Your mind cant be changed only your mask you wear, which you were doing yourself. Do what your mind craves and those "friends" you gained by putting on that mask are not true friends. Also Friends can come from any race, age or sex group.

[JCLore]

i think what made me so uncomfortable was knowing that
My cousin was letting me be friends with her friends
but after yesterday when we all went to the beach
i realized that they are all related to at least on person

two sets of twins
a couple of brothers and sisters
and a couple of cousins

after that i was much more comfortable


has anyone heard of flegmatics, Sanguins, Clerics, and Meloncholies??
basically each is a different personality-
im a fleg-sanguin which basically means i dont mind being alone
but i also love doing group activities

[miiszxclassiic]

You need to stop being so focused on fitting in and just BE YOURSELF and accept yourself. No one else is going to accept you if you are not comfortable with yourself... and it sounds like your very uncomfortable with yourself. You sound desperate. Don't go searching to fit in or for people to like you... its a waste of time and its called being fake. Good people will come along... live your life and let them come to you..

[kawaiiPANDA]

Think about what you enjoy the most in the world, block everything out and just think.
Don't be afraid.
Being yourself is a really good thing as everyone has pointed out.
People will see you as one of a kind and special if you went against what everyone else thinks.
You shouldn't care what others think as well. Be positive !

[Call911Quick]

Well a fast sure-fire way to make friends is to be funny.

So here's what you do. I could offer a whole explanation on HOW to be funny, such as sarcasm or juxtaposing contradictory objects, but it's better if you simply:

Watch all 10 seasons of friends.

Watch comedians. A lot of them. Russel Peters, Chris Rock, etc. They're pretty funny anyway.

Watch south park. A lot of it.

Watch House/Scrubs. You learn how to be sarcastic.

Everything comes from television anyway.

[JCLore]

thats how i made most of my friends
is by being funny
making ppl laugh at/with me was sorta 2nd nature

[*yrrnotelekktric*]

this may sound shallow,
but maybe you dont need friends.

i dont really have true friends either.
except maybe those ive kept in touch with since my elementary school days.

but then i realized, you`re really alone in this world.

im not saying its bad to have friends, but you dont always need to feel like friends will make you happy.

nevermind. this is just my opinion from my experiences.

[JCLore]

this may sound shallow,
but maybe you dont need friends.

i dont really have true friends either.
except maybe those ive kept in touch with since my elementary school days.

but then i realized, you`re really alone in this world.

im not saying its bad to have friends, but you dont always need to feel like friends will make you happy.

nevermind. this is just my opinion from my experiences.

i know what you mean
but when i picture my future
i picture having a family
and friends, really good friends

i feel drawn to make friends
even though im not that good at it

[*yrrnotelekktric*]

^ haha.

im kind of in your same situation.

when i`m older, i picture myself having really close friends too.

you shouldnt always try to FIT IN,
people should just like you for who you are.
those are REAL friends.


i went to an all girls highschool, and i tried fitting in with this one clique, and when i did, i found out that it totally wasnt worth it.

so one day, i randomly got up from the group and sat somewhere else for lunch, and NOT ONE OF THEM got up to say anything to me or to ask me what was wrong.

i told my sister about it, and her response was,

"some friends."


i dont know, ever since this day, i let go of trying to fit in.

[JCLore]

^ haha.

im kind of in your same situation.

when i`m older, i picture myself having really close friends too.

you shouldnt always try to FIT IN,
people should just like you for who you are.
those are REAL friends.
i went to an all girls highschool, and i tried fitting in with this one clique, and when i did, i found out that it totally wasnt worth it.

so one day, i randomly got up from the group and sat somewhere else for lunch, and NOT ONE OF THEM got up to say anything to me or to ask me what was wrong.

i told my sister about it, and her response was,

"some friends."
i dont know, ever since this day, i let go of trying to fit in.

im generally a very compatable person
like i'll try anything and usually still enjoy it
i eat almost anything, and i like trying different sports
i think in a way that has something to do with my situation
like i want to try being friends with this group of ppl
but almost like they dont want to even give it a shot

[Call911Quick]

If the friends you want are the people who you can sit next to during lunch and not say anything, then walk away as if you had teh best conversation ever, well, those kinds of people are chance meetings. They're people you just happen to tick with. You can't "make" those friends.

I have friends from when I was maybe 5 or 6 years old, (i'm 16), and I'm not as close with them as I am with this one guy I met 3 years ago.

[*yrrnotelekktric*]

im generally a very compatable person
like i'll try anything and usually still enjoy it
i eat almost anything, and i like trying different sports
i think in a way that has something to do with my situation
like i want to try being friends with this group of ppl
but almost like they dont want to even give it a shot

is there a reason why you think they dont want to give you a chance?

[JCLore]

^not really
i guess it might just be me thinking they dont want to
you know, my mind playing tricks on me

[*yrrnotelekktric*]

^haha.

whats so great about these people anyway?

[JCLore]

i look at there relationship with my cousin
and each other
and thats really what i want
sound selfish i know

[jaeman]

i know what you mean
but when i picture my future
i picture having a family
and friends, really good friends

i feel drawn to make friends
even though im not that good at it

Just do it, make friends!

[JCLore]

im getting there

although the other night
i was invited to one of their friends house for a going away party
(he was going to war, and id never even met him)
yea he got all the guys around and got them to run down to the park
when we were there he got everyone to pee on the grass
(i didnt and neither did a couple of others who didnt need to go)
but after that everyone took there shirts off and ran through the streets yelling

i didnt i sorta just walked behind
a couple of guys said i did the right thing
but most of them said i should have

and another thing
my cousin i told you about
"Desiree"
just had her 18th birthday
i was invited and so were all the guys
(i was almost the first one there)
the guys were sorta teaching me how to act at a party
and even though i kept trying to run off to talk to some other cousins i hadn't seen in years
they kept dragging me off
and thats never happened to me

[fameONE]

this is gonna sound really corny
but...
because ive changed so much just to fit in
i dont know how to be myself

"Life isn't about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself."

Although, by taking a step back from all of this, then figuring out what it is that makes you happy, then compiling all of that together to suit you for the sake of your own happiness, is finding/creating yourself at the same time.

What makes you happy? Don't worry about whats popular, or trying to make friends. If you can't be happy on your own, how can you be happy around others?