Help me please! Options

[runforestrun]

Hey there,

I have a problem and i'm hoping someone can help me; My almost-girlfriend and i were getting along greatly and everything went well after a social formal thing.

but i bumped into an a-hole at my school who started giving me shit saying shes a slut and that she screwed some guy.

this hurt me alot, for someone so innocent i didnt think it was possible, so i asked her on MSN (IM program)"was it true that you f**ked some guy?"

she replied with "i dont want to talk about that, especially on msn"

ever since then shes been withdrawn, whilst ive been ringing and talking to her for the past few days and everything seems fine...she never got back to answering the question...i felt so awful, if it was true i would want to know if it was before she took a liking to me or DURING it.

i dont know, this has been bugging me so much...i get these pains in my heart everynow and then, it seems everything is slowing down...

X

[deplorable]

i don't know. for me when there isnt honesty or trust in a relationship, there isnt a relationship.
I would honestly move on... there is no use dwelling on a person who is obviously not considerate of how you feel.

[nothin]

Dont ask dont tell.

It really shouldn't matter that much, if you heard its just a guy. You'll have a problem if you hear about different guys

[toxicity584]

Personally...I don't see it as an issue because she is your "almost-girlfriend." Because your relationship is not official, the both of you are entitled to do whatever it is that you want because you are not exclusive yet. Sorry to be blunt but that is usually a rule when it comes to a relationship.

[Uronacid]

Hey there,

I have a problem and i'm hoping someone can help me; My almost-girlfriend and i were getting along greatly and everything went well after a social formal thing.

but i bumped into an a-hole at my school who started giving me shit saying shes a slut and that she screwed some guy.

this hurt me alot, for someone so innocent i didnt think it was possible, so i asked her on MSN (IM program)"was it true that you f**ked some guy?"

she replied with "i dont want to talk about that, especially on msn"

ever since then shes been withdrawn, whilst ive been ringing and talking to her for the past few days and everything seems fine...she never got back to answering the question...i felt so awful, if it was true i would want to know if it was before she took a liking to me or DURING it.

i dont know, this has been bugging me so much...i get these pains in my heart everynow and then, it seems everything is slowing down...

X

Look, one thing you have to realize is that people make mistakes. Her having sex with another guy before you knew her or she knew you has nothing to do with how much she likes you now. People make mistakes, and you're going to have to learn to look past them. When she had sex with him, it had nothing to do with you or how she felt about.

What if she had sex with you because she liked you? Would it be any different then? Me and my girlfriend have had sex, does that make her a slut? Definitely not, and if you called her that I'd probably fly to your house and kick your ass. I had sex with someone before I met my girlfriend. Look past the fact that she had sex before she knew you, it doesn't make her time with you any less special, and you dwelling on it in a negative aspect will only drive your relationship with her into the dirt.

If you just can't seem to get it off your mind, you probably need to talk about it with her just to get it out of your mind. I would suggest this only as a last resort. Anyway, when you believe the time is right, confront her. Tell her there is something on your mind, and when she's in a listening mode I would suggest saying something like this:

"Look, this girl I know told me you were a slut because you had sex with some guy before you met me. Now, I don't want to think that about you because I like you a lot. I have known you for a while now, and I don't think you're the type of person that sleeps around. Bottom line is, I just can get this off my mind, It hurts a lot to think that about you. I really like you, and rather than thinking all these things that probably aren't true anyways I would rather hear about what happened from you so I can stop thinking about it and we can keep being friends or maybe even more. I like you, and I just don't want something stupid to come between us."

[DisOriental85]

as far as i know, there is a saying about love...
maybe you can use it, maybe not...
"Love is not finding the perfect person. It's finding perfection in someone who isn't." by Stephen D Glass.
I would give her a chance to tell you about it because it might be a touchy subject for her, so dont try to force her to tell you... if she feels that in a relationship, there should be honesty and trust, she will tell you in due time... hope it helps!

[LoveToMySilas]

I know how you must feel. It's happened to me before. The best way to get the answer from her is to catch her in person. A main part of a relationship is trust. People make mistakes, we all do. No ones perfect. So we have to find a way to accept these mistakes no matter what they may be. Just expect the unexpected but don't jump to conclusions either. It seems like its something that happened in the past. As Josh said, it probably has nothing to do with the way she feels for you now. Communication is key.

[transcendentalis...]

Hey there,

I have a problem and i'm hoping someone can help me; My almost-girlfriend and i were getting along greatly and everything went well after a social formal thing.

but i bumped into an a-hole at my school who started giving me shit saying shes a slut and that she screwed some guy.

this hurt me alot, for someone so innocent i didnt think it was possible, so i asked her on MSN (IM program)"was it true that you f**ked some guy?"

she replied with "i dont want to talk about that, especially on msn"

ever since then shes been withdrawn, whilst ive been ringing and talking to her for the past few days and everything seems fine...she never got back to answering the question...i felt so awful, if it was true i would want to know if it was before she took a liking to me or DURING it.

i dont know, this has been bugging me so much...i get these pains in my heart everynow and then, it seems everything is slowing down...

X

what is this, middle school?

do you really have to be such an inconsiderate bastard and just say, "was it true that you f**ked some guy?" not everyone is a naive, innocent shit; you're not in kindergarten. just because there's potential for a relationship between you two doesn't mean that there was never any potential with anyone else.

and hello, serious deep conversations about sex lives... over the internet? are you scared of her? if you liked her so much, you'd put more effort into making it easier for her to talk to you and know that you won't judge her instead of being such a prick about it.

the same thing happened to me, so don't even start soapboxing me about how "i don't know what it's like."=

[*jeanna*]

what? did you expect to be her first?

welcome to life

[karmakiller]

Well, you do have realize that you're not dating, and honestly someone's sex life should be their own business. I wouldn't want one of my guy friends to ask me about something personal like that on the internet. I could understand you being upset about someone calling her a slut, but that's something that you take up with that person.

[kryogenix]

THROW SOME Ds ON THAT BITCH

[nothin]

DONT ASK THAT BITCH WHO SHE f**kED MY n***a
YOU DONT
WANT TO
KNOW