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Breaking up question., kinda simple
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post Oct 25 2007, 12:36 AM
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How do you break up with someone who obviously still has feelings for you?
 
yaamakoh
post Oct 25 2007, 12:47 AM
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are you trying to break off from a relationship? or a friendship?
 
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post Oct 25 2007, 12:52 AM
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Relationship. And I'm not sure if I still wanna be friends with her after we break up. I don't want it to be awkward but we were never really friends when we got together. It was more like acquaintance or classmates.
 
yaamakoh
post Oct 25 2007, 01:00 AM
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he's a man, he can handle the truth. be blunt, but don't be so aggressive about it. just be honest with him, and he'll either understand you, or get emotional, or get angry. either way, it's still going to hit him the same in the end.
"i need time by myself"
"lets just be friends"
types of phrases are the worst to say, so if you can try to refrain from using those. even though you're trying to be nice.
well, how deep into the relationship are you?
 
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post Oct 25 2007, 01:04 AM
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Ahem* I'm a guy trying to break up with a girl. ermm.gif And we've been together for about a school year.
 
yaamakoh
post Oct 25 2007, 01:14 AM
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OH!

MY APOLOGIES!!!! i haven't been on these forums in three years!
but thats just an excuse.

... i'll tell you what i did with my ex... i mean it's a really low blow, but it was the only way that i could think of.
i started ignoring her phone calls, and when we did talk i wouldn't talk as much.
she started getting suspicious of my actions, and thats what i was planning...
then she started questioning me about the relationship, and saying that the feelings aren't the same anymore.
after that, i visited her in the middle of the night, and i told her flat out that the reason i've been acting weird, ignoring phonecalls was because i lost feelings for you, and you deserve someone better than me. (i only said that cause in senior year of highschool, i was going to a local college and she was planning on applying to 15 percentile schools. which she got into the #1 girls private school)
then afterwards, i completely ignored her txts, phonecalls, e-mails, so that she could forget about me faster.
 
rorhinna
post Oct 27 2007, 01:31 AM
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omg that's horrible ^
don't do that. be honest with her
do not draw things out and hurt her
like that. and hopefully you'll have
the maturity to not completely ignore
her afterwards. breaking up is hard
especially after that amount of time,
but don't be a jerk.
 
misoshiru
post Oct 27 2007, 12:31 PM
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just tell her that you don't feel anything for her anymore. give her the truth.
 
monster
post Oct 27 2007, 12:38 PM
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well, tell her it's because she didn't give you any surprise butt seckz.
 
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post Oct 29 2007, 06:52 PM
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Um, I told her "it's not you, it's me" [lame DX] and she kinda took that pretty hard. She stopped calling and texting me which is kinda what I really want to happen. We had an assembly today and I sat next to her. It was kinda weird but then I knew she felt even more awkward. At lunch, she didn't come over to our [friends] table like usual. Her best friend was there but I didn't see her at all. What should I do? I don't want her to totally avoid and ignore me. I want to pretend that we never had a relationship at all.
 
omgomgKATHY
post Oct 29 2007, 07:01 PM
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^LOL then tell her you still want to be friends/acquaintances or whatever. Make the first move.
 
rorhinna
post Oct 29 2007, 07:08 PM
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QUOTE(Note @ Oct 29 2007, 04:52 PM) *
What should I do? I don't want her to totally avoid and ignore me. I want to pretend that we never had a relationship at all.


the its not you its me thing is pretty lame, sorry.
but it songs like she's really heart broken, and it
might still hurt her being with you ya know? but if
you want the relationship as FREINDS to continue
then YOU need to initiate everything and put forth
the effort to maintain that. and your attitude around
her is very important to, don't make it awkward, act
like you would with other friends and stuff.
 
MissFits
post Oct 29 2007, 07:11 PM
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Make sure that if you want to be her friend, you let her know that's all you want out of the relationship. Don't let her think you are trying to get back with her.

But, if it doesn't work out she is going to a girls school and you won't see her very much. whistling.gif
 
shiftieeyedpnoi
post Oct 29 2007, 08:01 PM
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She's hurt. Leave her alone for a bit. She's grieving.
 
yaamakoh
post Oct 30 2007, 03:09 PM
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ok, as of right now keeping in contact and being friends is the immature thing to do. you wouldn't want to give her idea's or hints of getting back together. you're doing well, and the least you can do is feel bad about everything. as time passes by, it will get better, you two will start talking, and things won't be awkward anymore, but as of right now the cold shoulder is all you can do to progress further.
and yes, what i did was horrible, but after two years we talk like normal friends, and the past doesn't seem awkward when i bring it up. sometimes, falling down the hard way is the only quick way to bring yourself back up.
 
hypnotique
post Oct 30 2007, 03:37 PM
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QUOTE(Note @ Oct 29 2007, 05:52 PM) *
Um, I told her "it's not you, it's me" [lame DX] and she kinda took that pretty hard. She stopped calling and texting me which is kinda what I really want to happen. We had an assembly today and I sat next to her. It was kinda weird but then I knew she felt even more awkward. At lunch, she didn't come over to our [friends] table like usual. Her best friend was there but I didn't see her at all. What should I do? I don't want her to totally avoid and ignore me. I want to pretend that we never had a relationship at all.

Sometimes we cant expect that from someone.
If she still had feelings for you shes gonna take this really really hard..So give it sometime and maybe she may open up to being friends with you again.But for now you cant just jump and expect for it to be ok overnight,Its gonna be awkward for awhile and then it may get better
 
RAWRstephishere
post Oct 30 2007, 04:13 PM
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Rejection hotline.
 

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