Uronacid, A Fraud!!!!!!!!! Options

[bat19]

Following the grisly murders of the 2,000+ people in Regents Park London England yesterday, authorities were able to uncover a cassete tape on what they believe to be the body of American journalist William Lancaster, as stated in the tape itself. No positive identification of the body is possible however, without further tests. Because of the multitudes of victims, forensic laboratories in the U.K. will be unable to process all the samples alone. Reports indicate that as many as 560 blood and tissue samples are on their way to American laboratories to undergo identification tests.

The following is the tape of William Lancaster, only moments before his death. If there are those reading who are squimish, please do not read any further.

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My name is William Lancaster. I have a wife named Linda and three beautiful children, Tom, Anna, and Joseph. This message is for them, whom I shall never see again. If you are listening to this, I want you to turn it off. I don't want your last thoughts of me to be my death. Just know that I love you with all my heart and will see you all in heaven. Stay strong, and above all, stay together. Keep eachother strong...for me.<sobbing>

...I...umm...<cough>I am live in Regents Park, Westminster, London, and I am sad to say I will not last much longer. I am being held upon some sort of mechanism with hundreds of other people. Men, women, and children of all ages and races. From what I am able to make out, all of us have been strapped into this machine by some kind of metal plates around our torso and feet. Mobility is at a minimum.

(screams can be heard in the background) "Oh god...oh god help us..."

I cannot clearly see what is happening. Ash and thick smoke fill the air making it very hard for me to see, or breath. From what I can make out, there are at least a hundred or more people strapped to each mechanism,disk-like in shape, each of us set in a spiral pattern towards the center.<coughs> We have been here for hours. All that can be heard are cries and screams and moans of agony. I have given up the hope of any kind of rescue...

(minutes go by of dead air)

Why is he doing this? What kind of a monster....is he the devil? Is he the anti-christ, signaling the end of days? Oh god...oh god...<cries>

(A loud whirring sound can be heard. It is at this point that the tape is no longer audible. Technical specialists were able to piece together some of what was said through sound enhancement)

AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

OH GODDDD!!!!!!!!!! HELP US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE BLADES!! WE'RE BEING SUCKED INTO BLADES!!!!!!!!!!

BLOOD!! THE SKY IS RED!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

JESUS, FORGIVE .........

<laughter>

The laughter that can be heard at the end of the tape is belived to be that of the man called Uronacid, a.k.a. Kenny Blackfoot, a.k.a. Cannon Coyote. When British authorities arrived at the scene, no machinery was found, but piles of body parts all mutilated beyond recognition were located in the center of the park, next to a billboard that read "Jesus Saves."

[faydedprimadonna]

that was amazing... you should be a pro!!

[bat19]

damnit...Im out of ideas. I cant top the last one. :-(